He was great in " supposing " all sorts of strange cases Which might have occurred in preposterous places. Ezekiel at last to the bar was admitted. He opened an office and hung out his sign; But like other lawyers was much to be pitied, — No generous clients appeared in his line. His friends were but few, and his purse it was slender; His garments grew threadbare at elbows and knees; His chops were not juicy, his steak was not tender; He " chinked in the corners " with crackers and cheese. But his courage was grand, as he watched for his ship With a hopeful young heart and a stiff upper lip. One day a lone widow, with eyes that were red, With a look that " betokened " she 'd been in a row, Came into his office and tearfully said : "Oh, good Mr. Liar, dhey 've pounded me cow. She hooked up dhe bars an' wint into dhe alley, An' sthood dhere jist chewin' a wee bit o' hay, Whin me neighbor, nixt door, Mrs. Michael O'Mally, Jist up wid her apron and shooed her away. An' before me boy Dinnis could put on his socks, She kicked up her heels an' run'd off Ioike a fox. "Dhin dhe bad boys dhey chased her an' made her so shcared-loike, She stuck out her tail, an' she run'd down, down dhe sthrate, Roight into a dood dhere dhat wuz n't preparedloike, — Knocked him into dhe gutther, roight off o' his fate. His feelin's were hurted. He made such a row A big blue polace came along wid a shout, An' dhrove off me poor, pritty sheared little cow, Put her into dhe pen, an' I can't git her out. Oil, plaze, Mr. Liar, take pity on me! Oi 'II do yer wake's wash if ye 'll git m^ cow free."
When the case in the justice court came to be tried, Ezekiel was there with his law books at hand. The scene was pathetic; the lone widow cried, And " woiped her two oies whin she took to dhe sthand." Ezekiel arose in behalf of the cow, With cases to cite from the law books before him. He told of the wherefore, the when, and the how, — The old gift of " Gab " seemed to steal softly o'er him; And he pictured the woes of that cow with such power That justice and jury all wept for an hour. Though * the statute was clear that a fine be imposed On owners of all cattle running at large, The cow was released, and the widow vamosed, And did his " wake's washin" widout any charge." This case made Ezekiel the talk of the city, And clients came to him with feelings of awe. "Here 's a man," they all thought, " so ingen ious and witty, He clears every client in spite of the law." Men and women came to him from all sorts of places; It soon took two smart clerks to docket his cases. Ezekiel grew famous, his clients all praised him; He did not protest when they proffered their pelf. No desperate case ever puzzled or dazed him, Or shook his omnipotent faith in himself. He dabbled in corner lots, let nothing slip Through his fingers worth keeping, his charges were steep. By the practical use of his marvellous lip, He climbed from the foot to the top of the heap; And wondering old Yankees Down East now say, " Fudge I Who 'd ever 'a' thought he 'd be talked on for judge? "
