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FACETIÆ. A LONDON lawyer had been examining a mine in Cornwall, and while coming up the shaft saw a friend, who was a venerable clergy man, standing at the top watching his progress. '• Doctor," said the lawyer, " as you know all things from the surface to the centre, pray can you tell me this : How far is this pit from the other one in the infernal regions? " " Well, I can't tell you the exact distance in miles," said the clergyman, " but, if you let go your hold, you'll be there in a minute."
latter starting out of his doze, and not yet quite awake, answered that his opinion was that '• the man should be beheaded." '• But," said the President, " the case before us is about a meadow." " Let it be mowed then," was the sleepy rejoinder. NOTES.
UNFORTUNATELY the client's estimate of the at torney too often depends upon the result of the suit. An able and conscientious lawyer once tried a case with his usual care and ability. Everything pointed to a verdict in his favor, and as the jury retired, he inquired of his client, "Are you sat isfied?" "Perfectly," was the reply. " Daniel Webster himself could not have done better." The jury returned a verdict for the other side. GENERAL Benjamin F. Tracy, ex-Secretary of Not many days after the disappointed litigant the Navy, was once trying a case in the City met a friend who inquired, " What was the cause Court which involved the liability of a provision of your losing your case the other day?" dealer for unwholesome pork. The point at "Oh I a natural one," he replied. " I had a fool issue turned upon trichinosis, and the word was bandied about by counsel and scientific experts. for a lawyer." The most interested auditor was an old court THE following is an accurate and exact copy officer who listened to all the arguments, espe cially to those of the General. • of a letter received at the pension office in •• Oh, but that was an instructive spache, Gen Knoxville. Tenn. It tells its own tale of woe, eral. Oi knew that pigs were unhealthy animals, and it is to be hoped brought the money held but I never knew they had tricky noses before." back by the Government : VICKSISURG Miss MAY 4 1900 Arabella "I'D like ?"—" to He marry wouldn't a lawyer."—" argue with What me."— for, GOVERNMENT: I still inform you of the Remainer of my pen "How do you know? "—" Lawyers never argue sion 1899 December 4 $12 dol please send me without a fee in sight." it No 117034 I ought had my money the way I w:as done JUDGE : " Prisoner at the bar, have you any Government it is Eliza hard McGill for me to be percuted thing further to state in your defence?" PRISONER: "No, your honor, I only ask you to deal with me as you would with yourself if and flicted to death in the of name of the Govern ment and cant get my money it is hard any you were in my place." treatment of the Government to a poor widow ONE day the President of the French court, woman that is Been Murdered and even clubteem gathering the votes of the Judges, and coming on in December and no money to pay doctor to ask that of a Judge who had been asleep, the bills to waite on me and I am kept out of my
