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THE GREEN BAG
As Sober as a Judge; State Farm. — Stephen Conroy, who was in the Cambridge District Court one morning charged with drunkenness, tried flattery as a means of exciting the court's clemency. When the charge was read, Con roy said, " Your honor, I was sober as a judge." Judge Almy looked at him quizzically, how ever, and said " State Farm." Court and Lawyers Caught. — Attorney Don H. Powers of Maine, a brother of Congressman Lewellyn Powers, was once defending a man who was charged with some minor offense. The trial was before a trial justice in a country town, and at the close of the preliminary hearing a wag in the court room arose and said: " Mr. Judge, I will make a motion that the prisoner be discharged." "I will second the motion," chimed in another spectator. The trial justice, who evidently forgot where he was, and thought he was presiding at a town meeting, said: "The prisoner is dis charged." Powers and the prosecuting attorney were •so astonished at this method of deciding the innocence or guilt of the respondent that they never opened their mouths, and the case ended in this fashion. Squire Meredith's Docket. — A correspon dent sends in the following complaint copied from a justice's docket. Commonwealth "I v. !-No.34,SeptemberTerm,i9oo. Henry Thimble, J Upon oath of Fred Fleschut who being duly sworn deposes and says that on the tyth day of Sept., 1900, at the Borough of Towanda in said County, One Henry Thimble, Jr., being than and there did wilfully and feloniously go into my celler of MY dwelling house in the first ward of Towanda Boro, while the cellar door was locked and he entered said celler through a whole left open for air, and did steal and carry away a quantity of cider and pulled out the cork in the end of the barrell and plugged up said whole with a corner of a bag and by so doing caused about all the cider in said barrell to run out of the said celler floor, causing me a damage or a loss of
about 30 gals, of cider of the value of $5.00 Contrary to the form of the Acts of assembly made and provided in such cases. Now, Dec. 31, 1902, Defendant brought into office, complaint read aloud in his hearing, he enters plea of not guilty. Complainant being deceased and after hearing proofs and allega tions of witnesses, deft, discharged. Docket of John Meredith, J. P., No. i. Page 289. Barbarous. — In the Town Topics criminal libel suit there was much to contribute to metropolitan gayety. In examining the tales men for the jury to try the case against Nor man Hapgood, who was charged with libelling Colonel Mann, they were all asked if they had ever read Town Topics. Three of them said that they had glanced over it in a barber shop. • The next talesmen had never even heard of the publication. "I shave myself," said he. Story on Sidewalks. — The late Judge Story of the Somerville Municipal Court was one day asked by a neighbor if he were allowed any of the trees which were being cut down in front of his house. The judge thought that abutters on the street were entitled to that privilege, and so the neighbor secured a couple of good chopping blocks. The next morning one of the workmen noticed that the blocks were missing, and found them in the adjoining yard. He imme diately began to roll them out again, when he was stopped by the neighbor, who began to assert his rights to the man. Finding that his argument made no impression upon the man, he said that Judge Story told him that abutters on the sidewalk were entitled to some of the trees which were then being cut down. At mention of the judge's name the work man became very angry, and, shaking his finger in the man's face, cried: " Look here. my good man, Judge Story may know law, theology, and thim things, but he don't know a d—n thing about a sidewalk." — Boston Herald.
