264
THE GREEN BAG
over the admission of evidence and about positions and what not. The judge sat quietly by and finally he put the question to one of the lawyers. " What am I sitting here for anyway?" The lawyer quick as a flash replied, " You have got me now judge, I don't know except for manner's sake." Indignity. — One G. used to go on a drunk once in a while and would when in that condition go to a hotel or home and remain till the spree was over and would perhaps not indulge again for many weeks. He once got on one of his " periodics," when he went into a livery barn and hid in the hay mow. At night one of the men found him, and thinking he was an ordinary tramp tried to pull him up. It was impossible to get the man to move, as he was covered up with hay and straw and evidently felt he was resting on a bed of ease. The stable keeper, thinking he had some tramp to deal with, knew one remedy which had worked many times in the past; he turned on the water and gave the sleeper a good dose of cold river water directed at the sleeper's chest and neck. In an instant the sleeper, over six feet tall and well dressed, rushed up at his would be assailant, grabbing him by the throat, saying, " I was a gentleman, I have always been a gentleman, I came in here a gentleman, and now I go out of here the worst looking tramp you ever saw." As he went down street, pulling chaff from his neck and throat, with hay and straw sticking to him like cockle burr to a cow's tail, he shook his fist at the terrified stable keeper saying as he went along, " I'll sue you for befouling my person, I was a gentleman till I struck your place, I shall never come back here again, except with the sheriff to cause your arrest, you ignorant lout you, who don't know better than to sprinkle a gentleman in such fashion." B. L. Wick. An Ad. — Another lawyer's advertisement has come to join our collection. "O. J. Felton, farmer's attorney. At home on Brookdale Farm. Practice in all courts. Litigated cases not sought for. New Phone 2 on 390." Cedar Rapids Evening Gazette. Evidence. — " The evidence shows, Mrs. Mulcohey, that you threw a stone at Police man Casey."
"It shows more than that, yer Honor, it shows that Oi hit him." — Minneapolis Trib une. Mayor and a Mule. — Mayor Dunne issued a pardon for a mule. The action was taken on the assurance of State Senator E. J. Rainey that the prisoner at the city pound had never before offended and would be good in the future. The mule is the property of Gerald Broderick, fifteen years old, who appeared in the mayor's office armed with a letter from the senator. He peered over the high railing and caught the attention of Abe Merinbaum, bridewell pardon clerk. "I want a pardon," said the boy. "Who for? " asked Merinbaum. "You have locked up my mule," answered the youngster with a catch in his voice. Merinbaum read the senator's letter, con sulted with the mayor, visited the deputy comptroller, and a pardon was arranged. — Chicago Daily News. 1 Generosity. — One S. was known in his day and generation as one of the most brilliant lawyers of Iowa, but he would get drunk. One morning he came into the Supreme Court room of the state in that condition, and while the court was in session many motions and orders came up before the regular business of the day began. When about all the detail of the business was disposed of, the chief jus tice asked if there was anything else that could be disposed at that session. Mr. S. walked up in front of the speaker's desk and called out " What has been done with no ," a case in which he was interested. The chief justice said that the case had not as yet been decided. Then Mr. S. replied, "This is the only case I have, my client needs the money, and I need my fees. Now if you will decide this case right away I'll give you five dollars." The chief justice called for order and was very much enraged. S. did not realize what he had said, so to fix it up replied as follows, "Excuse me, judge, I did not mean five dollars for all of you, I meant five dollars apiece." There was a smile on the faces of the members of the Bar, while a friend led the offending attorney out of the court room to sober up. — B. L. W.
