THE LIGHTER SIDE Much Law, Poor Case. — Among lawyers there is a saying that in the trial of a case an attorney, if light on facts, must be heavy on law. The other day an attorney was prepar ing to leave his office, in one of the big office buildings, to go to the court-house to try a case. From the shelves of his library he had taken many large law books containing deci sions and opinions of higher courts. At inter vals a. boy went in and out of the door, and each time he bore in his arms a stack of the books, which he carried to an express wagon that stood in the street below. The attorney was to use the books in the court-room. Another lawyer, who is of Southern birth, and who always addresses his friends with some army title', watched the boy as he went in and out, carrying the law books. Then he dug his hands deep into his trousers-pockets and said to the lawyer: "Well, Ah'll sweah, Kunnel, you must have no case at all." — Kansas City Times. Fees. — Client. — This bill of yours is exorbi tant. There are several items on it I don't understand. Lawyer. — I am perfectly willing to explain it, but the explanation will cost you five dollars. — Christian Register. Advice of Counsel. — The magnate faced St. Peter. "What sort of a life have you led? " in quired the keeper of the gates. The face of the magnate grew dull and stolid. "By advice of counsel," he replied, "I refuse to answer." The gatekeeper slowly nodded. "In that case," he said, " you had better consult your counsel before this goes any further. He is waiting for you in the ante room below." Whereupon the saint pressed the button and the elevator platform upon which the magnate was standing dropped into the sulphurous depths. — Cleveland Plaindealer. Incompetent. — In a lawsuit in Pennsyl vania not long ago the question was put to a miner on the witness stand : "Were you ever hurt in the mines?" "Indade I was," responded the man; "I was half kilt once." "Now tell the court whether you were
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injured at any other time," continued the cross-examiner. "Yes. I was half kilt in another accident shortly after that." "Your honor," smilingly interjected coun sel for the other side, " I object to this man's testimony." "Upon what ground? " asked the judge. "On the ground that, having been half killed twice, he is a dead man and therefore incompetent as a witness." GLADSTONE'S SENSE OF HUMOR The Lord Chief Justice of England doubted some of the marvels of Mr. Gladstone's really wonderful memory, and once, hearing a story of Gladstone's early years, he determined to improve upon it. So he said that he remem bered when he was only six months old, and lying*in his cradle, he saw his nurse surrepti tiously help herself to a glass of brandy, and said to himself: " As soon as I can speak, shan't I tell my mother! " " The thing is absolutely impossible," was Mr. Gladstone's • comment, in his gravest tone. The Lord Chief Justice said afterward that he had been beaten because he had reckoned on Mr. Glad stone's having a gleam of humor. " I was mistaken," he said sadly. — Christian Register. An Aboriginal Writ. — A suggestion for simplification of pleadings is found in a valu able and interesting brief prepared by Hugo A. Dubuque, City Solicitor of Fall River, accompanying a petition to the legislature for a grant of lands in the Fall River Indian Reservation which contains much entertain ing Indian lore. He says " Some of the pray ing Indians were at times given minor offices such as constables and justices of the peace, with jurisdiction over their own people. And they were highly pleased with these commis sions. The following warrant directed to an Indian constable was issued by one of these native magistrates. For sententious brevity it is in striking contrast with out modern writ : "' I Hihoudi, you Peter Waterman, — Jeremy Wicket, quick you take him, fast you hold him, straight you bring him before me, Hihoudi'." Legal Plea for Her Hand. — The judge's daughter was perturbed. "Papa," she said, knitting her pretty brow, "I am in doubt as to whether I have kept to
