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THE LIGHTER SIDE

THE

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Immortality. —■ " If this decree could be forgotten, like a judgment in an ordinary per sonal action, I should feel less mortification at the result. But, in impairing the useful ness of this great thoroughfare of the western world, we have erected a lasting monument. Its voice, like the herdsman's call, will rever berate along the hills and valleys after the original sound shall have died away; and the light which it sheds upon railroad science, like that reflected in the evening sky, will remain after the body from which it emanates shall have departed," — Per Lewis, J. in Comm. v. Erie & N. E. R. Co., 27 Pa. 339 (at Page]373). A New Legal Story. — The list of good legal stories has been increased by one that is creating a good deal of amusement among judges and lawyers. As it goes, Chief Justice Falconbridge, of Ontario, Mr. Justice Britton and Mr. Justice Riddell, a newly appointed judge, were sitting together as a court in Toronto not long since. According to some legalists who were present, the presentation of argument on behalf of one of the clients was rather prolix and not very much to the point, tofput it mildly. Mr. Justice Riddell, who, by the way, was not to the same extent inured against the tediousness of the proceedings as were his colleagues, was observed to pass one of them a slip of paper, on which, presumably, were written some notes on the case. Imme diately the " notes " were read, however, by his colleagues, there was a subdued suggestion of mirth apparent on their part. It turned out that the " notes " read after this fashion. THE " NOTES." (With apologies to Mr. Rudyard Kipling.) "'Oo is it makes that bloomin' noise?" Asked Files-on-Parade. "It's counsel's openin' argument" The color-sergeant said. "'Oo 'as to 'ear the bally stuff?" Asked Files-on-Parade. "The chief and his two hired men," The color-sergeant said.

"For he doesn't know his law, he misrepre sents the facts: His logic is so rotten you can see through all the cracks, And he's pretty sure to get it where the chicken got the axe, When the court delivers judgment in the morning." — Montreal Star. The Justice's Admission. — The proprietors of a celebrated Swadeshi toilet preparation have been collecting testimonials from the leaders of Indian society. One learned jus tice ingenuously offers the following surprising testimony: " Very efficacious for weakness of the brain. I use it daily." — Allahabad Pioneer. Intemperate. — "I vent to lawyer apoud some advice on my pizness, und he charged me fifty dollars for fife minutes conversation." "Gracious! Vot extravagant languich he must use." — Philadelphia Press. Safety in Silence. — Mrs. Gaymon. — Yes, auntie, now that I am Herbert's wife, he is another man. Aunt Martha. — Well, don't you go telling peopleyou're another man's wife or you'll be getting tried for bigamy. Baxter Dictating to a new Stenographer. — "Now, I hope you can spell. You have heard the story of the senior partner who said ' that stenographer spells ridiculously ' and the junior partner replied, ' well, if she does, it is the only word I ever heard of her spell ing correctly!" Stenographer. — "I think I can spell as well as some of your correspondents." Baxter. — " Take a letter to the Superin tendent of the County Hospital of and we will see." In reply to the above letter in due course of mail, the Hospital superintendent adds as a post script. " I am stuck on this letter of yours. I can reede it with eas. I like tipe writen." Judgment. — Stenographer wins.