3«6
THE GREEN BAG
prove value of light salted casings in Feb ruary when the casings were ordered sold. Objection being made by plaintiff that the depositions were immaterial for the reason they did not tend to show any measure of damages. That if the plaintiff had converted the casings to his own use by failing to sell as ordered the measure of damages was their value when and where delivered to plaintiff, which was when the casings had been shipped and given to the carrier for delivery to plain tiff. The objection being sustained the de fendant called to the witness stand a butcher of the town, who was sworn and asked, " What is your business? " "I am a butcher." "How long have you been a butcher here in town? " " Fifteen years." " What was the value of light salted casings about February 10, in this town? " " I don't know dat." "Why not? " " I never bought any casings and never sold any. When I make sausage I always use my own guts." The Qualifications. — A lawyer in his office one day was visited by a tall, raw-boned woman who partly led and partly dragged a boy. Accosting the lawyer she asked, " Be you the lawyer? " " Yes," he replied. "What can I do for you? " "I want you to take this boy and make a lawyer of him." "Your son seems young to begin the study of law. How old is he? " " Six years old." "He is entirely too young, have you nojolder boy? " " Yes," she said, " we have'older boys and younger ones. We intend to make farmers of the others, but a lawyer of this one." " What is there about this boy that makes you determine to make a lawyer of him? " " Well, I'll tell you, mister, when that boy was four years old he was as sassy and impudent as could be, when he was five he would lie like all creation. Now he steals everything he can get hold of." The Press. — A story is told of the late John L. Toole, the comedian, and Mr. Justice Haw kins, now Lord Brampton. They were at supper together discussing the events of the day. The judge incidentally mentioned that he intended, on the morrow, giving the man he had been trying fifteen years, because he deserved it. As Toole was leaving he blandly inquired: " Oh, would you mind my calling
at the newspaper offices and telling them about that fifteen years? It will be a tip for them — exclusive information, you know — and will do me no end of good with the press." "Good God! No, sir," exclaimed the judge, who took the precaution of accompanying Toole to his hotel and seeing him safely to bed. — Rochester Herald. A Quaint Old Bill for Damages. — Though this was paid immediately, it is scarcely likely to serve as a model for less modest present-day claimants. A claim for damages against a railroad com pany is so often a license for exorbitant charges that a simple bill, such as was received by an American railroad company many years ago, even apart from its humorous aspect, is refreshing. It ran as follows : The and Railroad Company, To John Smith, Dr. July 19, 1837 — To running your Loco motive into my wife; as per Doctor's bill for curing her $10.00 To smashing ban box and spilling her hat 3.87 To upsetting my deer born (wagon) and breaking it 35. 00 To hurting me 5 . 00 $53-87 There is authority for stating that the claim was paid immediately. —Scrap Book. Could Take His Choice. — At a recent inquest in a Pennsylvania town, one of the jurors, after the usual swearing in, arose and with much dignity protested against service, alleging that he was the general manager of an important concern and was wasting valu able time by sitting as a juror at an inquest. The coroner, turning to his clerk, said: "Mr. Morgan, kindly hand me ' Jervis ' (the authority on juries)." Then, after consult ing the book, the coroner observed to the unwilling juror: "Upon reference to ' Jervis,' I find, sir, that no persons are exempt from service as jurors except idiots, imbeciles, and lunatics. Now, under which heading do you claim exemption?" — Success.
