The Editor's Bag THE GENERAL'S DREAM GENERAL "Joe" Geiger's fame, says an Ohio correspondent, was not confined to Ohio. It extended, in a way, from the Atlantic to the Pacific and from the Lakes to the Gulf. He was an inveterate wag, a small man physically, and made no pretense to any sort of personal beauty. While a mem ber of the Ohio Senate, quite a number of years before the Civil War, a contest for the Major-Generalship of Militia was being protracted in that body by two or more aspirants, and at the psycholog ical moment some member moved the election of Hon. Joseph H. Geiger to the position, and the joke became dead earnest — the "contest" ended as soon as a vote could be taken. Many years afterward, in an ex-soldier meeting in the Ohio capitol, his address followed the addresses of two ex-officers of the Civil War. In its course, he explained: "Now these gentlemen have seen actual war and lots of it; I never was in battle. They had to fight for their titles; mine was the result of skill and dexterity." Again, presently, he said, "It must not be concluded, however, that I have not suffered for my country, because I have done so. When Kirby Smith was threatening Cincinnati in September, 1862, I was one of the Squirrel Hunters who went to the defense of that city, and all the saloons were closed all the time we were there. Just think how I must have suffered!" These will introduce the General anew and bring us to one of his unnum bered stories still floating about twenty years after he passed on. In certain branches of the law he was formidable, but the less he was required to tumble over the books, the better he liked the practice. Across the street from his residence was that of E., one of his very warmest
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friends, who never entered a trial un prepared, a splendid, all-round lawyer, resident of the silent city for years now. Coming down city one morning, the General said he had dreamed the night before that he had died and gone to Heaven; that when he reached the gate and expected an easy entrance, St. Peter stopped him. "What is your name?" "Gen. Joseph H. Geiger." "Where are you from?" "Columbus, Ohio." "What is your occupation?" "I'm a lawyer." "Well, you can't come in here." Thereupon he stepped one side and sat down a good deal disconcerted and undecided what was best to do. While he was waiting and trying to think, up came his neighbor E., who went through the same sort of catechism, with the same answers, but to his amaze ment, the gate swung open and E. en tered. Resenting the apparent injustice in his exclusion, he proceeded to call the doorkeeper to account and demanded to know the ground of the discrimina tion, saying, "I come from the same city, about the same time and have the same occupation, and here you turn me down because I am a lawyer, and let him in; why is it?" "Oh," said St. Peter, "he's no lawyer; he only thinks he's a lawyer."
ONE AT A TIME A JUSTICE of the peace was hold ing court in a little Missouri town. One of the attending counsel held against him an old grudge. While the Justice was delivering an opinion he was interrupted by the braying of a jackass without.
