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The Green Bag "Upon this waxen roller and its two fragile mates Is wrapped the Constitution of these United States, Likewise the constitution of any given state, . And a digested transcript of its statutes up to date. Then into this receiver the plain, unvarnished facts Of any case are stated; the law-condenser acts, And in calm judicial accents, by a process graphophonic, My invention makes decision with a squareness so Masonic, So fair, and so infallible, that men must list in awe To thirty-minute justice in accordance with the law." Then Browne regarded Bobbins as one who speaks in jest, And said, "With your permission, I'll put it to the test." Then into the receiver he talked at length, presenting A Supreme Court decision, with Blanque, C. J., dissenting, And listened with amusement the while the Lexiphone Reversed that grave tribunal with a logic all its own. But as he listened, laughter gave way to doubt, then wonder; He shouted, "Browne, those judges have made an awful blunder! This devilish law-box puts it in such a lucid light That any sober layman could see that Blanque was right!" Instead of praising Bobbins, as in gccd sooth they ought, His legal friends stood spellbound by one appalling thought. Then Byng's pale lips were parted as one who grasps in mirk: "Old friend, by George we hate to — but must, or go to work!" Then heedless of Evander's loud cry of wild despair. They pounced upon the Lexiphone, and kicked it down the stair. And as that great invention upon the pavement lay, Browne stamped upon its ruins in a truly savage way, While Byng knelt down beside it, endeavoring with his fist To pulverize the pieces Browne's patent-leathers missed. That night, in deep dejection, Evandcr thought, "I fear That as a tactless genius I'll stand without a peer Until, in future ages, some brilliant fool like me Submits a plan to sailors for drying up the sea!" Thus, with a noble fairness, Evander made his moan, Amid the shattered fragments of the Bobbins Lexiphone. Clyde, 0.
