^
268 MICHAEL JOSEPH EISLER
know that he would be prevented to this day from seeing his wish fulfilled.
Let us now return to the chief symptom of the neurosis, the pain in the loin, the etiology of which I have described as deter- mined by a group of experiences. I shall postpone consideration of its foundation, which is to be sought in anal-erotic wish-phant- asies, until I come to the circumstances of childhood and dispos- itional elements. It might be that these, which were involved ,|, in a massive fixation, together with the scene observed at ten years, would alone suffice to direct the patient's labile sexuality into the channel of the neurosis; further occurrences, to which in virtue of his innate disposition he reacted as to traumata, gave the clue. He was once followed by his grandfather, on account of a prank; he fled, but the old man started after him and ult- imately caught him. He was less impressed by the thrashing he received, than by the old man's robust legs. Pursuit, and the stitch in the side which followed this running, are closely related in the recollection. A quite analogous if less amusing scene took place somewhat later when he was nine years old. By bad luck, he had knocked out two front teeth of a little girl with a catapult. The )
injured child's father came along to punish him for the misdeed. I
He rushed out in terror, and ran away from his pursuer right across an open field. Eventually, when his wind gave out, and exhaustion left him barely conscious, he was overtaken and dealt with. Both these memories of dread of an approaching man were blended with an apparently disconnected experience at fifteen years, which achieved later immense importance on account of the circumstances of the X-ray episode. He caught diphtheria, and was given an injection of antitoxin in the left side ^ by the doctor treating him. The later homosexual wish-phantasy was
varying intensity for over twenty years, and after marriage, which was at first childless, it became if anything worse. The condition improved markedly every month during the periods. After birth of her first child there was spontaneous and complete cure. Analytic investigation showed in this case too, that the infantile wish for a child (from the father) had been converted into internal symptoms. Maternity eventually shifted the apparently slight disease.
- A person's left side counts as feminine, as is known from many neur-
oses and folk-psychology. Moreover the male genital organ is usually carried on the left side.
