Page:The Life of Mary Baker G. Eddy.djvu/255

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HISTORY OF CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
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apparently did not realise that Christ, by the very act of His atonement, admitted the reality of sin, while she, having denied its existence, had forfeited any logical right to suffer because of it. The missionary who frees the savage from the fear of demons and witchcraft, and the nurse who assures the child that there is no evil thing lurking for him in the dark, do not suffer from the enlightenment they bring, and they do not assume the fear which the child casts off. Mrs. Eddy, on the contrary, for many years believed that she herself suffered from the torturing belief she had taken away from others. The reader will remember that in 1863 Mrs. Eddy wrote to Dr. Quimby that while treating her nephew, Albert Tilton, to rid him of the habit of smoking, she herself felt a desire to smoke. By 1877 Mrs. Eddy not only believed that she suffered from the physical ills from which her students were released, but declared that her students followed her in thought and selfishly took from her to feed their own weakness. The work upon the second edition of her book could not go on because they nourished themselves upon her and sapped her powers.

By the 1st of April, three months after her marriage to Mr. Eddy, she was almost in despair, and on April 7th she wrote one of her students: "I sometimes think I can not hold on till the next edition is out. Will you not help me so far as is in your power, in this way? Take Miss Norman, she is an interesting girl and help her through. She will work for the cause but she will swamp me if you do not take hold. I am at present such a tired swimmer, unless you do this I have more than I can carry at present. Direct your thoughts and everybody's else that you can away from me, don't talk of me."