Written for Monthly unless designated
By
HUGH HERDMAN
tlie Pacmc otnerwise
On the Trail.
Have you heard of The Trail by the river Where there's laughter and mirth without
It's thVlrail of the elf wlio, neglectful of self, J
Finds his fee in the joy of the giver. Come in perioque or batteau, Come in sampan or canoe, Come from cottage or from chateau, Come and join our merry crew. Cast aside that mournful plight, For we hit The Trail to-night.
All the races of earth will be present, From the North and the South, East and West; „
Here the glum Esquimau in his tepee ot
snow, There the yodling Tyrolean peasant. Come in perioque or batteau, Come in sampan or canoe, (Joine from cottage or from chateau. Come and join our merry crew. Cast aside that mournful plight. For we hit The Trail to-night.
We shall see sweetest maids of Japan,
Arm in arm with the beauties of France;
We'll behold on the Lake, Walla Walla and Snake,
With the belles from the hot Kurdistan. Come in perioque or batteau. Come in sampan or canoe, Come from cottage or from chateau. Come and join our merry crew. Cast aside that mournful plight, For we hit The Trail to-night.
We will joggle on "Moses" through Cairo, We will 'call on .Tack Frost at the Pole, We will paddle through Venice, brave spa- ghetti's bold menace. And we'll stare like the veriest tyro. Come in perioque or batteau, Come in sampan or canoe, Come from cottage or from chateau, Come and join our merry crew. Cast aside that mournful plight. For we hit The Trail to-night.
So come on, hit The Trail and be jolly,
Let the morrow take care of itself.
We'll be young for to-night, take our meed of delight, T -n m
See the world at a glance, and thank ± oliy. In the perioque and batteau, In the sampan and canoe, From the cottage and the chateau, We have come, a merry crew. We are all in happy pligkt. For we hit The Trail to-night.
- -H- *
Difference of Viewpoint.
Collie— Say, Fido, that mistress of yours is a very beautiful woman. It must be great to have her hold you close to her and kiss
you. , . ,
Fido— Yes, it would be if it weren't for her
husband. .
Collie— Does he object to her kissing you^ Fido— I don't know or care. But I object
to his kissing her first. He drinks and
smokes.
- * *
Memorial Day Reflections.
"I wonder," said the motorman philoso- pher, "I wonder how many people, when they visit the cemeteries to-day, will think of the poor Japanese and Eussian dead that lie at the bottom of the China Sea to-day, or of the maimed and wounded, or of the broken hearts of the mothers, wives, and sweet- hearts at home. Not many. We are selfish even in our sorrow. So long as grief doesn t come near to us, we don't care much about it But when it does, then we howl like sin— Confound that dog! Get out of that, you brute! Get!— That dog runs out and barks at the car every time I pass. I'll run over him some day and fix hini good and plenty. He makes me mad."
"And break the heart of that sweet little girl that owns him?" was suggested.
"Eh what's that?" he asked, looking sheepish, and then laughing. "Say, I guess I wouldn't make a very good preacher,
would I?
- * *
A Cause of Misunderstanding.
Binks— What word causes more domestic rows than any other?
Jinks— Give it up.
Binks—' ' Typewriter. ' ' When a man talks about his bii-d of a typewriter, n^eamng his machine, his wife immediately infers that he is referring to his stenographer.
