Page:The Philippine Islands, 1493-1803 (Volume 09).pdf/266

salvation. In order not to tire or occupy your Majesty with an affair of so little weight and moment, although it means much to me, I declare, Sire, that, according to my desire and intention, I wrote to your Majesty exempting myself and bidding farewell to human and temporal pretensions, thinking that they were not necessary for me, and rather desiring to assist with what I had, some persons in need, debt, and obligation. Since then my affairs here have gone in the usual and ordinary way of the world, which is unlike, even contrary to, human project, plan, and judgment. Many times things are planned very differently from what actually happens afterwards, as is verified by my case. For I thought to have something to leave, and I am obliged to ask for aid; and I may truly say that it is not for myself, but for those whom I owe and am under strict and just obligations to satisfy and pay. The debts are such and so many, that no calculation can be made. In December, when I wrote to your Majesty by way of Malaca, according to my understanding the debts were somewhat more than thirty-eight thousand pesos. Although it is true that some were paid later, I have not adjusted or liquidated my debts so that I can state the amount; yet I can assure your Majesty that altogether I owe a very large sum at present. God knows how overcome with confusion I am when I consider my debts and obligations and the little I have to satisfy them. Thus, Sire, your Majesty cannot fail of the assistance which is necessary for one who has so little and owes so much, and who has to pay it and, moreover, answer and give account for his father and himself. Besides what was paid and spent by my father, after his death were contracted debts not far from twenty-