I believe now would have, had I continued in them still, drowned me in perdition and destruction.
Chr. What things were they?
Hope. All the treasures and riches of the world. Also I delighted much in rioting, levelling, drinking, swearing, lying, uncleanness, Sabbath-breaking, and What not, that tended to destroy the soul. But I found at last, by hearing: and considering of things that are divine, which indeed I heard of you, as also of beloved Faithful that was put to death for his faith and good living in Vanity Fair, that "the end of these things is death;" and that for these things' sake "cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience." (Rom. vi. 21–33. Eph. v. 6.)
Chr. And did you presently fall under the power of this conviction?
Hope. No; I was not Willing presently to know the evil of sin, nor the damnation that follows upon the commission of it; but endeavoured, When my mind at first began to be shaken with the word, to shut mine eyes against the light thereof.
Chr. But What was the cause of your carrying of it thus to the first workings of God's blessed Spirit upon you?
Hope. The causes were—1. I was ignorant that this was the work of God upon me. I never thought that by awakenings for sin God at first begins the conversion of a sinner. 2. Sin was yet very sweet to my flesh, and I was loath to leave it. 3. I could not tell how to part with mine old companions, their presence and actions were so desirable unto me. 4. The hours in which convictions same upon me were such trouble some and such heart-affrighting hours, that I could not bear, no, not so much as the remembrance of them upon my heart.
Chr. Then, as it seems, sometimes you got rid of your trouble?
Hope. Yes, verily; but it would come into my mind again, and then it should be as bad, nay; worse than I was before.
