Page:The Pilgrim's Progress, the Holy War, Grace Abounding Chunk3.djvu/37

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Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners.
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crows that sat upon the ploughed lands before me, had they been capable to have understood me, Wherefore I said in my soul with much gladness, Well, would I had a pen and ink here! I would write this down before I go any further, for surely I will not forget this forty years hence. But, alas, within less than forty days I began to question all again, which made me begin to question all still.

93. Yet still at times I was helped to believe that it was a true manifestation of grace unto my soul, though I had lost much of the life and savour of it. Now, about a week or a fortnight after this, I was much followed by the scripture, "Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you" (Luke xxii. 31); and sometimes it would sound so loud within me that once, above all the rest, I turned my head over my shoulder, thinking verily that some man had behind me called me: being at a great distance,methought he called so loud. It came, as I have thought since, to have stirred me up to prayer and to watchfulness; it came to acquaint me that a cloud and a storm was coming; down upon me: but I understood it not.

94. Also, as I remember, that time that it called to me so loud was the last time that it sounded in mine ears; but methinks I hear still with what a loud voice these words, "Simon, Simon," sounded in mine ears: and although that was not my name, yet it made me suddenly look behind me, believing that he that called so loud meant me.

95. But so foolish was I and ignorant that I knew not the reason of this sound, which, as I did both see and feel soon after, was sent, from heaven as an alarm, to awaken me to provide for, what was coming; only I would muse and wonder in my mind to think what should be the reason of this scripture, and that at this rate it should still be sounding and rattling in mine ears. But,as I said before, I soon after perceived the end of God therein.

96. For about the space of a month after, a very great