they were then all questioned by me. That in Jer. iii. at the first was something to me; and so was the consideration of verse 4 of that chapter—that though we have spoken and done as evil things as we could, yet we shall cry unto God, "My Father, thou art the guide of my youth," and shall return unto him.
113. I had also once a sweet glance from that in 2 Cor. v. 21: "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." I remember that one day, as I was sitting in a neighbour's house, very sad at the consideration of my many blasphemies, and as I was saying in my mind, What ground have I to say that I, who have been so vile and abominable, should ever inherit eternal life? that word came suddenly upon me, "What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?" (Rom. viii. 31.) That also was an help to me: "Because I live, ye shall live also" (John xiv. 19). But these words were but hints, touches, and short visits, though very sweet when present; only they lasted not, but, like Peter's sheet, of a sudden they were caught up from me to heaven again. (Acts x. 16.)
114. But afterwards the Lord did more fully and graciously discover himself unto me, and indeed did quite not only deliver me from the guilt that by these things was laid upon my conscience, but also from the filth thereof; for the temptation was removed, and I was put into my right mind again, as other Christians were.
115. I remember that one day, as I was musing on the wickedness and blasphemy of my heart, and considering the enmity that was in me to God, that scripture came into my mind: He hath "made peace through the blood of his cross" (Col. i. 20); by which I was made to see, both again and again, that God and my soul were friends by his blood—yea, I saw that the justice of God and my sinful soul could embrace and kiss each other through his blood. This was a good day to me; I hope shall never forget it.
