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POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF THE PICKWICK CLUB
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whose clothes you wear, and whose bread you eat, even though he is a scoundrel, Sir."

" You are a very good fellow," said Mr. Pickwick, much affecte.l " an honest fellow."

" Come, come," interposed Sara, who had witnessed Mr. Trotter's tears with considerable impatience, " blow this here water cart bis'ness. It won't do no good, this won't."

" Sara," said Mr. Pickwick, reproachfully, " I am sorry to find that you have so little respect for this young man's feelings."

" His feelins is all wery well, Sir," rephed Mr. Weller ; " and as they're so wery fine, and it's a pity he should lose 'em, I think he'd better keep 'era in his own bussum, than let 'era ewaporate in hot water, 'specially as they do no good. Tears never yet wound up a clock, or worked a steam ingin'. The next time you go out to a smoking party, young feller, fill your pipe with that 'ere reflection ; and for the present, just put that bit of pink gingham into your pocket. 'T'a'n't so handsome that you need keep waving it about, as if you was a tight-rope dancer."

" My man is in the right," said Mr. Pickwick, accosting Job, " although his mode of expressing his opinion is somewhat homely, and occasionally incomprehensible."

"He is. Sir, very right," said Mr. Trotter, " and I will giveaway no longer."

" Very well," said Mr. Pickwick. " Now, where is this boarding- school?"

    • It is a large, old, red-brick house^ just outside the town, Sir,"

replied Job Trotter.

" And when," said Mr. Pickwick, " when is this villainous design to be carried into execution — when is this elopement to take place?"

" To-night, Sir," replied Job.

" To-night ! " exclaimed Mr. Pickwick.

" This very night, Sir," replied Job Trotter. " That is what alarms me so much."

" Instant measures must be taken," said Mr. Pickwick. " I will see the lady who keeps the establishment, immediately."

" I beg your pardon. Sir," said Job, " but that course of proceeding will never do."

" Why not ?" inquired Mr. Pickwick.

  • ' My master. Sir, is a very artful man."

" I know he is," said Mr. Pickwick.

" And he has so wound himself round the old lady's heart, Sir," resumed Job, *' that she would believe nothing to his prejudice, if you went down on your bare knees, and swore it ; especially as you have no proof but the word of a servant, who, for anything she knows (and my master would be sure to say so), was discharged for some fault, and does this, in revenge."

' What had better be done, then ?" said Mr. Pickwick.

  • Nothing but taking him in the very fact of eloping, will convince

the old lady, Sir," replied Job.