THE PICKWICK CLUB. 345
« The wery thing," said Sam. *' I could end with a werse ; what do you think ?"
" I don't like it, Sam," rejoined Mr. Weller. " I never know'd a respectable coachman as wrote poetry, 'cept one, us made an affectin' copy o' werses the night afore he wos hung for a highway robbery and he wos only a Cambervell man, so even that's no rule."
But Sara was not to be dissuaded from the poetical idea that had occurred to him, so he signed the letter —
- ' Your love-sick
Pickwick."
And having folded it, in a very intricate manner, squeezed a down-hill direction in one corner : " To Mary, Housemaid, at Mr. Nupkins's Mayor's, Ipswich, Suffolk " ; and put it into his pocket, wafered, and ready for the General Post. This important business having been transacted, Mr. Weller the elder proceeded to open that, on which he had summoned his son.
" The first matter relates to your governor, Sammy," said Mr. Wel- ler. " He's a goin' to be tried to-morrow, ain't he? "
- The trials a comin' on," replied Sam.
« Veil," said Mr. Weller, « Now I s'pose he'll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p'raps to prove a alley bi. I've been a turnin the bus'ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy Sammy. I've got some friends as'll do either for him, but my adwice 'ud be this here — never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi. Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing." Mr. Weller looked very profound as he delivered this legal opinion ; and burying his nose in his tumbler, winked over the top thereof, at his astonished son.
" Why, what do you mean ?" said^ Sam ; " you don't think he's a goin' to be tried at the Old Bailey, do you ? "
" That ain't no part of the present con-sideration, Sammy," replied Mr. Weller. ** Verever he's a goin' to be tried, my boy, a alleybi's the thing to get him off. Ve got Tom Vildspark off that 'ere man- slaughter, with a alleybi, ven all the big vigs to a man said as nothing couldn't save him. And my 'pinion is, Sammy, that if your governor don't prove a alleybi, he'll be what the Italians call reg'larly flummoxed, and that's all about it."
As the elder Mr. Weller entertained a firm and unalterable conviction that the Old Barley was the supreme court of judicature in this country, and that its rules and forms of proceeding regulated and controlled the practice of all other courts of justice whatsoever, he totally disregarded the assurances and arguments of his son, tending to show that the alibi was inadmissible ; and vehemently protested that Mr. Pickwick was heing " wictimised." Finding that it was of no use to discuss the matter further, Sam changed the subject, and inquired what the second topic was, on which his revered parent wished to consult him.
" That's a pint o' domestic policy, Sammy," said Mr. Weller. " This here Stiggins — "
" Red-nosed man ?" inquired Sam.
