MY LADYE'S HEART
My Ladye is a gentle thing,
Her sympathies are quick and keen,
A tale of woe her heart will wring,
She would not wound a fly, I ween.
A kinder maid was never seen;
In cruel sports she takes no part—
Angelic are her look and mien—
My Ladye with the tender heart.
And yet grave charges I can bring
Of cruelty against my queen;
Her hat, so brave with breast and wing—
Her sealskin, with its silken sheen—
While lambs that never grazed the green
Died ere they lived to make her smart;
How can her eyes be so serene?
My Ladye with the tender heart.
And then her menu! (Oh, the sting
Of facts like these, which song demean!
Yet truth is truth.) She whom I sing
Dines well on dead things, fat and lean;
The market, with its gory scene,
To her is like a hall of art,
Although her smile is infantine,
My Ladye with the tender heart!
ENVOI
Death, you are courtier to my queen;
That she may thrive you do your part,
Nor does her protest intervene—
My Ladye with the tender heart.
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MERELY A REHEARSAL
Young Chinnington (passionately)—Mr. Gillte-Edge, I love your only daughter—love her madly, devotedly, wildly, and with all the strength and might of my being! I adore her as a miser loves his hoard of yellow gold, worship her as an idolator worships his fetish. Without her sweet presence ever at my side life to me will be but one long, dreary
Old Gillte-Edge (savagely)—I don't care what it will be, young man—you can't have her, and that settles it!
Young Chinnington (cheerily)—Oh, all right! all right! If one don't ask he won't receive, vou know. Say, old man, now that it is all over, what do you think of that as a sample of my elocutionary ability, anyhow? Pretty smooth, eh? You see, I had decided to start out as a public reciter in case you refused to accept me as a son-in-law, and I rather guess it's up to me now, all right enough. Well, so long. No hard feelings on my side, I assure you. Any time you happen to be in a town where I am giving my entertainment, just mention your name at the door, and it sha'n't cost you a cent to see the show.
