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THE SOCIAL WAR OF 1900; OR,

"Sister Nancy Clover, among the charitable and literary associations; and I will take to the tract, Bible, Sabbath schools and Young Men's Christian Associations.

"I would also here relate what I did last night, after I learned that Miss Lucinda Armington repaired in disguise to Victor Juno's residence. I called twenty of the faithful to disguise themselves, and join me to surround the house of Victor Juno; and getting Dr. Toy Fancy to arrive also at such a moment as to force his way accidentally into Mr. Juno's house, and go directly to his bedroom for the purpose of detecting whether this reputed aunt who visited her nephew—Mr. Juno—last night, was not the veritable disguised Lucinda Armington.

"I concluded, should we find her there, we would abduct her, and take good care that the wretched apostate would never more come between us and our enemy; but, from some cause or other, we missed our prey."

"You were not very sharp," said Nancy Clover.

"Well, as bad luck would have it, they were apprised by Mr. Juno's servant that we were surrounding the house, before Dr. Toy Fancy could enter the house, which evidently caused Miss Armington to escape; but, how she got through our lines, as we besieged the house, is miraculous," responded Deacon Stew.

"How do you know that she escaped; why may she not have been hid away, somewhere about the immense mansion of Mr. Juno; did you search the house?" said the president, Rev. Joe Pier.

"No sir, we did not search the house at all; but, when I found that Dr. Toy Pancy failed to find her, or the bogus aunt, I drew my comrades aside, and directed them to scatter a little, until I would go to visit General Washing ton Armington's residence, and announce to the general and daughter the precarious condition in which Mr. Victor Juno was found when Dr. Toy Fancy returned to his bedside; and behold her ladyship—Miss Lucinda Armington—was aroused from her own bed, as though