16 ALEXIS Now, I want to know if 3^011 can confidently guarantee it as possessing all the qualities you claim for it in your advertise- ment? MR. ~W. Sir, we are not in the habit of puffing our goods. Ours is an old established house, with a large family connection, and every assurance held out iu the advertisement is fully realized. (Hurt.) ALINE. (Aside L.) Oh, Alexis, dou'fc offend him! He'll change us into something dreadful I know he will ! ALEXIS. I am anxious from purely philanthropical motives to distribute this philtre, secretly, among the inhabitants of this village. I shall, of course, require a quantity. How do you sell it? MR. W. In buying a quantity, sir, we should strongly advise your taking it in the wood, and drawing it off as you happen to want it. "We have it in four and a half and nine gallon casks also in pipes and hogsheads for laying down, and we deduct ten per cent, for prompt cash. ALINE. Oh, Alexis, surely you don't want to lay any down I ALEXIS. Aline, the villagers will assemble to carouse in a few minutes. Go and fetch the tea pot. ALINE. But, Alexis ALEXIS. My dear, you must obey me, if you please. Go and fetch the tea pot. ALINE. (Going.) I'm sure Dr. Daly would disapprove of it. . (Exit ALINE into tent.) ALEXIS. And how soon does it take effect? MR. "W. In half an hour. Whoever drinks of it falls in love, as a matter of course, with the first lady he meets who has also tasted it, and his affection is at once returned. One trial will prove the fact. Enter ALINE from tent with large tea pot. ALEXIS. Good ; then, Mr. Wells, I shall feel obliged if you will at once pour as much philtre into this tea pot as will suffice to affect the whole village. ALINE. But bless me, Alexis, many of the villagers are married people. MR. W. Madam, this philtre is compounded on the strictest principles. On married people it has no effect whatever. But are you quite sure that you havo nerve enough to carry you through the fearful ordeal? ALEXIS. In the good cause I fear n< thing. MR. W. Yery good, then, we will proceed at once to the incantation. (The stage grows dark.) INCANTATION. MR. W. Sprites of earth and air Fiends of flame and fire Demon souls, Come hero in shoals, This dreadful deed inspire. Appear, appear, appear!
MALE VOICES. Good master, we are here 1