Page:The Spirit of the Chinese People.djvu/129

tries in every thing reasonable, not only to protect her, but also not to hurt her, not to hurt her feelings. Now to bring a strange woman into the house must hurt the wife, hurt her feelings. But here, I say, it is what I have called the Religion of selflessness which protects the wife from being hurt: it is this absolute selflessness in the woman in China which makes its possible for her not to feel hurt when she sees her husband bring another woman into the house. In other words, it is the selflessness in the wife in, China which enables, permits the husband to take a concubine without hurting the wife. For here, let me point out, a gentleman,—a real gentleman in China, never takes a concubine without the consent of his wife and a real gentlewoman or lady in China whenever there is a proper reason that her husband should take a concubine, will never refuse to give her consent. I know of many cases where having no children the husband after middle age wanted take a concubine, but because the wife refused to give her consent, desisted. I know even of a case where the husband, because he did not want to exact this mark of selflessness from his wife who was sick and in bad health, refused, when urged by the wife, to take a concubine, but the wife, without his knowledge and consent, not only bought a concubine, but actually forced him to take the concubine into the house. In fact, the protection for the wife against the abuse of concubinage in China is the love of her husband for her. Instead, therefore of saying that husbands in China cannot truly love