sohned out of Church to paternal roof, where usual tortures take place over the wedding-cake.
Captain M. (at table).—Up with you, Gaddy. They expect a speech.
Captain G. (after three minutes' agony).—Ha-hmmm! (Thunders of applause.)
Captain M.—Doocid good, for a first attempt. Now go and change your kit while Mamma is weeping over—"the Missus". (Captain G. disappears. Captain M. starts up tearing his hair.) It's not half legal. Where are the shoes? Get the ayah.
Ayah.—Missie Captain Sahib done gone hide away all the shoes.
Captain M. (brandishing scabbarded sword). Woman, produce those shoes! Some one lend me a bread-knife. We mustn't crack Gaddy's head more than it is. (Slices heel off white satin slipper, and puts slipper up his sleeve.) Where is the Bride? (To the company at large.) Be tender with that rice. It's a heathen custom. Give me the big bag! •••••••••• Bride slips out quietly into 'rickshaw and departs towards the sunset.
Captain M. (in the open).—Stole away, by Jove! So much the worse for Gaddy! Here he is. Now, Gaddy, this 'll be livelier than Amdheran! Where's your horse?
Captain G. (furiously, seeing that the women are out of earshot).—Where theis my Wife?
Captain M.—Half-way to Mahasu by this time. You'll have to ride like Young Lochinvar.
Horse comes round on his hind legs; refuses to let G. handle him.
Captain G.—Oh, you will, will you? Get round, you brute—you hog—you beast! Get round.
Wrenches horse's head over, nearly breaking lower jaw; swings himself into saddle, and sends home both spurs in the midst of a spattering gale of Best Patna.
