"No, you won't!"
"to write down whatever I could recollect about my sister's wonderful parrot, I proceed to do so, only premising that I will tell you nothing but what I can vouch for having myself heard. Her laugh is quite extraordinary, and it is impossible not to join in it oneself, more especially when, in the midst of it, she cries out, 'Don't make me laugh so! I shall die! I shall die!' and then continues laughing more violently than before. Her crying and face sobbing are curious, and if you say, 'Poor Poll! What is the matter?' she says, 'So bad—so bad! Got such a cold!' and after crying for some time will gradually cease, and, making a noise like drawing a long breath, say, 'Better now,' and begin to laugh. The first time I ever heard her speak was one day when I was talking to the maid at the bottom of the stairs, and heard what I then considered to be a child call out, 'Payne' (the maid's name), 'I am not well—I am not well!' On my saying, 'What's the matter with that child?' she replied, 'It's only the parrot! She always does so when I leave her alone, to make me come back.' So it proved, for, on her going into the room, the parrot stopped, and then began laughing, quite in a jeering way. It is singular enough that when she is affronted in any way, she begins to cry; and, when pleased, to laugh. If anyone happens to cough or sneeze, she says, 'What a bad cold!' One day when the children were playing with her, the maid came into the room, and, on their repeating to her several things which the parrot had said, Poll looked up and said, quite plainly, No, I didn't!' Sometimes when she is inclined to be mischievous the maid threatens to beat her; and she often says, 'No, you won't!' Before I was well acquainted with her, as I am now, she would stare in my face for some time, and then say, 'How d'ye do, ma'am?' This she invariably does to strangers. One day I went into the room where she was, and said, to try her, 'Poll, where is Payne gone?' and to my astonishment, and almost dismay, she said, 'Downstairs!'"
