help, and bless with thy favour, the creature whom Thou vouchsafest to preserve. Mitigate, if it shall seem best unto Thee, the diseases of my body, and compose the disorders of my mind. Dispel my terrours; and grant, that the time which Thou shalt yet allow me, may not pass unprofitably away. Let not pleasure seduce me, idleness lull me, or misery depress me. Let me perform to thy glory, and the good of my fellow creatures, the work which thou shalt yet appoint me; and grant, that as I draw nearer to my dissolution, I may, by the help of thy Holy Spirit, feel my knowledge of Thee increased, my hope exalted, and my faith strengthened; that, when the hour which is coming shall come, I may pass by a holy death to everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Wednesday, March 28, 1770.
This is the day on which, in 1752, I was deprived of
poor dear Tetty. Having left off the practice of thinking
on her with some particular combinations, I have
recalled her to my mind of late less frequently; but
when I recollect the time in which we lived together,
my grief for her departure is not abated; and I have
less pleasure in any good that befalls me, because she
does not partake it. On many occasions, I think what
she would have said or done. When I saw the sea
at Brighthelmstone, I wished for her to have seen it
with me. But with respect to her, no rational wish is
now left, but that we may meet at last where the
mercy of God shall make us happy, and perhaps make
us instrumental to the happiness of each other. It is
now eighteen years.
April 14, 1770.
This week is Passion Week.
I have for some weeks past been much afflicted with the lumbago, or rheumatism in the loins, which often passes to the muscles of the belly, where it causes equal, if not greater pain. In the day the sunshine mitigates it;
