- not hope from each other an unvaried rectitude of conduct,
or an uninterrupted course of wisdom or virtue; as folly will sometimes intrude upon an unguarded hour; and temptations, by frequent attacks, will sometimes prevail; one of the chief acts of love is readily to forgive errours, and overlook defects. Neglect is to be reclaimed by kindness, and perverseness softened by complaisance. Sudden starts of passion are patiently to be borne, and the calm moments of recollection silently expected. For, if one offence be made a plea for another; if anger be to be opposed with anger, and reproach retorted for reproach; either the contest must be continued for ever, or one must at last be obliged by violence to do what might have been at first done, not only more gracefully, but with more advantage.
Marriage, however in general it resembles friendship, differs from it in this; that all its duties are not reciprocal. Friends are equal in every respect, but the relation of marriage produces authority on one side, and exacts obedience on the other; obedience, an unpleasing duty; which yet the nature of the state makes indispensable; for friends may separate when they can no longer reconcile the sentiments, or approve the schemes of each other; but as marriage is indissoluble, either one must be content to submit, when conviction cannot be obtained; or life must be wasted in perpetual disputes.
But though obedience may be justly required, servility is not to be exacted; and though it may be lawful to exert authority, it must be remembered, that to govern and to tyrannize are very different, and that oppression will naturally provoke rebellion.
The great rule both of authority and obedience is the law of God; a law which is not to be broken for the promotion of any ends, or in compliance with any commands; and which, indeed, never can be violated without destroying that confidence, which is the great source of mutual happiness; for how can that person be trusted, whom no principle obliges to fidelity?
