Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 2.djvu/250

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A TALE OF A TUB.

should we wonder at the greatest consequences, from so many loppings and mutilations, to which the ears of our fathers, and our own, have been of late so much exposed? It is true indeed, that while this island of ours was under the dominion of grace, many endeavours were made to improve the growth of ears, once more among us. The proportion of largeness, was not only looked upon as an ornament of the outward man, but as a type of grace in the inward. Besides, it is held by naturalists, that if there be a protuberancy of parts, in the superiour region of the body, as in the ears and nose, there must be a parity also in the inferiour: and therefore, in that truly pious age, the males in every assembly, according as they were gifted, appeared very forward in exposing their ears to view, and the regions about them; because Hippocrates tells us[1], that when the vein behind the ear happens to be cut, a man becomes an eunuch: and the females were nothing backwarder, in beholding and edifying by them: whereof those who had already used the means, looked about them with great concern, in hopes of conceiving a suitable offspring by such a prospect: others, who stood candidates for benevolence, found there a plentiful choice, and were sure to fix upon such as discovered the largest ears, that the breed might not dwindle between them. Lastly, the devouter sisters, who looked upon all extraordinary dilatations of that member, as protrusions of zeal, or spiritual excrescencies, were sure to honour every head they sat upon, as if they had been marks of grace; but especially, that of the

  1. Lib. de aëre, locis & aquis.
preacher,