Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/36

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26
SWIFT’S POEMS

He that would thus refine on thee,
And turn thy stage into a school,
The jest of Punch will ever be,
And stand confest the greater fool.





THE GRAND QUESTION DEBATED:

WHETHER HAMILTON'S BAWN SHOULD BE TURNED INTO A BARRACK OR A MALT HOUSE. 1729.


THUS spoke to my lady the knight[1] full of care,
"Let me have your advice in a weighty affair.
This Hamilton's bawn[2], while it sticks in my hand,
I lose by the house what I get by the land;
But how to dispose of it to the best bidder,
For a barrack[3] or malthouse, we now must consider.
"First, let me suppose I make it a malthouse,
Here I have computed the profit will fall t' us;
There's nine hundred pounds for labour and grain,
I increase it to twelve, so three hundred remain;
A handsome addition for wine and good cheer,
Three dishes a day, and three hogsheads a year;
With a dozen large vessels my vault shall be stor'd;
No little scrub joint shall come on my board;
And you and the dean no more shall combine
To stint me at night to one bottle of wine;

  1. Sir Arthur Acheson, at whose seat this was written.
  2. A large old house, two miles from sir Arthur's seat.
  3. The army in Ireland was lodged in strong buildings, called barracks, which have lately been introduced into this country likewise.
" Nor