Page:The elephant man and other reminiscences.djvu/229

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A Question of Hats
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very pleasing, although I failed to answer his repeated inquiry as to why His Grace the Duke of X should be afflicted in this rude and offensive manner. It was evident that his position should have exempted him from what was quite a vulgar disorder, and it was incomprehensible that he, of all people, should have been selected for this insult.

The interiew over, I made my report to the duchess, who was in a little room adjacent to the hall. She followed me out to ask a final question just as I was on the point of taking my hat. The hat handed to me by the butler was, however, a new hat I had never seen before. It was of a shape I disliked. The butler, with due submission, said it was the hat I came in. I replied it was impossible, and, putting it on my head, showed that it was so small as to be absurd. The duchess, who was a lady of prompt convictions, exclaimed, "Ridiculous; that was never your hat!" The butler could say no more: he was convicted of error. The duchess then seized upon the only other hat on the table and held it at arm's length. "Whose is this?" she cried. "Heavens, it is the shabbiest hat I ever saw! It cannot be yours." (It was not.) Looking inside, she added, "What a filthy hat!