Page:The whole familiar colloquies of Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam.djvu/229

THE FABULOUS BANQUET. 225 that the pawnbroker had lent money upon his own porridge-pot. Men are commonly very well pleased with such tricks when they are put upon such as they have no good opinion of, especially such as use to impose upon other persons. Ad. In truth, by mentioning the name of Anthony, you have laid open an ocean of merry stories ; but I will tell but one, and a short one too, that was told me very lately. A certain company of jolly fellows, who are for a short life and a merry one, as they call it, were making merry together ; among the rest there was one Anthony and another person, a noted fellow for an arch trick, a second Anthony. And as it is the custom of philosophers, when they meet together, to propound some questions or other about the things of Nature, so in this company a question was proposed, Which was the most honour- able part of a man ] One said the eyes, another said the heart, another said the brain, and others said other parts ; and every one alleged some reason for his assertion. Anthony was bid to speak his mind, and he gave his opinion that the mouth was the most honourable, and gave some reason for it, I cannot tell what. Upon that the other person, that he might thwart Anthony, made answer that that was the most honourable part that we sit upon; and when every one cried out that was absurd, he backed it with this reason, that he was commonly accounted the most honourable that was first seated, and that this honour was commonly done to the part that he spoke of. They applauded his opinion, and laughed heartily at it. The man was mightily pleased with his wit, and Anthony seemed to have the worst of it. Anthony turned the matter off very well, saying he had given the prime honour to the mouth for no other reason but because he knew that the other man would name some other part, if it were but out of envy to thwart him. A few days after, when they were both invited again to an enter- tainment, Anthony going in finds his antagonist talking with some other persons, while supper was getting ready, and turning his arse towards him, lets a great full in his face, He being in a violent passion, says to him, Out, you saucy fellow, where was you dragged up at Hogs Norton 1 Then says Anthony, What, are you angry 1 ? if I had saluted you with my mouth you would have answered me again ; but now I salute you with the most honourable part of the body, in your own opinion, you call me saucy fellow. And so Anthony regained the reputation he had lost. We have eveiy one told our tale ; now, Mr. Judge, it is your business to pass sentence. Ge. Well, I will do that, but not before every man has taken off his glass, and I will lead the way. But talk of the devil and he will appear. Po. Levinus Panagathus brings no bad luck along with him. Lev. Well, pray, what diversion has there been among this merry company ? Po. What should we do but tell merry stories till you come ? Lev. Well, then, I am come to conclude the meeting. I desire you all to come to-morrow to eat a theological dinner with me. Ge. You tell us of a melancholy entertainment indeed. Lev. That will appear. If you do not confess that it has been more entertaining than your fabulous one, I will be content to I e amerced a supper ; there is nothing more diverting than to treat of trifles in a serious manner.