whose name was Theodore, and said unto him, “Go and say unto that brother, ‘Be not angry and impatient, for I will dismiss the governor immediately, and [then] I will speak with thee.’ ” Thus it appeared to me that, like a spiritual being, he had knowledge of secret things, and I made up my mind to remain.
And when the governor had departed John called unto me and said unto me, “My son, why wast thou vexed with me? What hast thou found which is worthy of [being considered] an offence? Thou hast imagined things which are not to be found in me, and which are not creditable unto thyself. Dost thou not know that it is written, ‘Those that are whole have no need of a physician (St. Matthew 9:12; St. Mark 2:17; St. Luke 5:31); only those who are in very evil case have need of him.’ Thee I can find whensoever I wish, and if I myself do not comfort thee the brethren and the other fathers will do so. But this governor who hath come to us is tightly bound unto the Calumniator by means of the affairs of this world, and, having obtained respite for a brief space from the vain labour of [his] abominable servitude, he fleeth like a slave from his master and cometh to be helped; therefore it would not be seemly to leave him, and to be constant in attention unto thee, for thou art at all seasons occupied with the cultivating of thy life.”
And having said these things I entreated him to forgive me, and I became certain in my mind that he was a spiritual man. Then with a smile he patted my left cheek with his right hand, and said unto me, “Many temptations will rise up for thee to endure, and moreover, for many years [past] thou hast struggled to go forth from the desert, and thou strugglest even to this day, but thou hast been afraid; and the causes thereof, which were thought [by thee to arise from] the fear of God, hath the Evil One himself sowed in thy mind; and although thou didst drive away thy thought from thee thou hast kept him with thee. For he sowed in thee the thought of desire, which was also pleasant unto thee, that is to say, thou didst care greatly to bring out of the world thy father and also thy sister that they might take upon themselves the garb of the monastic life. Now there still remain to thy father seven other years of life, therefore continue to abide in the desert, and do not on account of these thoughts desire to go to thy kinsfolk, for it is written, ‘No man who hath put his hand on the ploughshare and looketh back is useful to the kingdom of heaven’ ” (St. Luke 9:62). Now, therefore, being helped by these words whereby I triumphed I gave thanks and praise unto God Who had quieted and laid to rest
