Whilst then, I say, I was pondering upon these things in my mind, and was greatly afflicted thereby, I began to have sorrow concerning myself, because my lazy and sluggish mind lacked the great sense of order and arrangement which the ants possessed, and also the faculty of not being disturbed by thoughts of laziness, which the brethren possessed in common with the ants, and also because the Calumniator had hunted me down like a child, and had set me in captivity, and had hurled me into such [great] temptations. And I thought of those who were offering their souls with all their hearts to Christ, and who were being guided on their way in all the monasteries by submission and spiritual grace, through the righteous redemption of our Redeemer, and who were anxious to preserve their souls blameless, and who were labouring diligently and without any hindrance and with all their strength to do their work, and to minister unto one another; and who were not saying about any possession which was theirs, “It is mine,” and who had everything in common; and who carried out perfectly the manner of life, which is described in the Acts of the Apostles (Acts 4:32), according to which no man said about any possession that it was his, and everything was in common; and who, though possessing nothing, yet possessed everything; and who enjoyed sufficiently that which they had for their [daily] needs, with all fear or with all praise, and glorified Him Who richly provided them with everything.
And having made my heart sad and low with such thoughts for many days, I went to that woman, who seeing how greatly my countenance was changed, entreated to be allowed to learn the cause thereof; and having confessed to her that it was because I had remembered the regular life of the brethren, and that I wished to escape and return to the monastery out of which the Enemy had made me to come, she advised me and besought me to take her [with me] and to place her also in a nunnery. And having together decided upon this plan, we wept and entreated our Lord to help us to carry out what we had determined and to deliver us from that wicked people. Now therefore, having firm hope in God’s assistance, we took thought for our return, and I slew two large goats which I had with me, and made their skins into water bottles; and having loaded their flesh upon our shoulders, I took the woman, and we departed. And we travelled the whole night long, and came to an exceedingly great and wide river, and I blew up the water bottles, and I gave one to the woman and kept the other myself, and we laid hold upon them with our hands, and sitting astride of the skins we paddled with our feet, and crossed over the river. Then, seeing that we should
