Page:Traditional Tales of the English and Scottish Peasantry - 1887.djvu/89

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PLACING A SCOTTISH MINISTER.
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making a speech out of what he meant for an exclamation; "absolve thee of the foul guilt, the burning sin, and the black shame of that bane and wormwood of God's Kirk, even patronage; and come unto us—not with the array of horsemen and the affeir of war; but come with the humility of tears and the contrition of sighs, and we will put thee in the pulpit; for we know thou art a gifted youth." Another old man, with a bonnet and plaid, and bearing a staff to reinforce his lack of argument, answered the enemy of patronage: "Who wishes for the choice of the foolish many in preference to the election of the One-wise? The choice of our pastor will be as foolishness for our hearts and a stumbling-block to our feet. When did ignorance lift up its voice as a judge, and the sick heart become its own physician? We are as men who know nothing—each expounding Scripture as seemeth wise in vain eyes; and yet shall we go to say this man, and no other, hath the wisdom to teach and instruct us?" "Well spoken and wisely, Laird of Birkenloan," shouted a ploughman from the summit of the old abbey; "more by token, our nearest neighbours, in their love for the lad who could preach a sappy spiritual sermon, elected to the ministry a sworn and ordained bender of the bicker, whose pulpit, instead of the odour of sanctity, sends forth the odour of smuggled gin." A loud burst of laughter from the multitude acknowledged the truth of the ploughman's sarcasm; while Jock Gillock, one of the most noted smugglers of the coast of Solway, shook his hand in defiance at the rustic advocate of patronage, and said: "If I don't make ye the best thrashed Robson ever stept in black leather shoon, may I be foundered in half a fathom of fresh water." "And if ye fail to know and fear the smell of a ploughman's hand from this day forthwith, compared to that of all meaner men's," cried the undaunted agriculturist, "I will give ye leave to chop me into ballast for your smuggling cutter." And he descended to the ground with the agility of a cat, while the mariner hastened to encounter him; and all the impetuous and intractable spirits on both sides followed to witness the battle.

"So now," said an old peasant, "doth not the wicked slacken their array? Doth not the demon of secession, who hath so long laid waste our Kirk, draw off his forces of his own free will? Let us fight the fight of righteousness, while the workers of wickedness fight their own battles.