10 T H E W I T T Y E X P L O I T S
themſelves could not do it: They are ignorant of ſuch matters: a parcel of beardleſs boys.____Then George thought it was time to take ſpeech in hand. Well, my lord biſhop, ſays he, You call them a parcel of ignorant beardleſs boys: you have a great long beard yourſelf, my lord biſhop, and if the grace of God were meaſured by beards, you biſhops, and the goats will have it all, and that will be quite averſe to ſcripture. What, ſays the Biſhop, are you a Scot? Yes, ſays George, I am a Scot? Yes, ſays George, I am a Scot: Well, ſays the biſhop, and what is the difference between. a Scot and a ſot? Nothing at preſent, ſays George, but the breadth of the table (there being a table betwixt the biſhop and George,) ſo the biſhop went off in a high paſſion, while the whole multitude were like to ſplit their jaws with laughter.
About this time, there was an act of Parliament for the benefit of murderers, that any perſon who committed murder, if they forfeited five hundred merks, which went under the name of KIN-BOOT, becauſe ſo much of this fine went to the murdered perſons neareſt relations, as the price of blood, the murderer got a remit. Now George knowing this to be contrary to Moſes' laws, was very much grieved to ſee ſo many pardons ſealed with the king's hard for murder, almoſt one every week; it being ſo uſual for the king to ſubſcribe them, that he would not read them, nor enquire what they were; for which cauſe, George writes a right to the crown, and ſent it to the King to be ſubſcribed, which he actually did, and never looking what it was, returned it to George: No ſooner had he received it, but he goes to the King, and told him, it was not time for him now to be ſitting there, whereat the King greatly amazed, ſtarted up, then George in a great haſte ſet himſelf down in the king's chair, forthwith declaring himſelf kings ſaying, "You who was King mot be my fool, for I am
row the wifeft man. 'The King at this was greatly offended, until George ſhewed him his ſeal and ſubſcription but from that day forth the king knew what he ſubſcribed.
The next pardon that came to be ſealed by the King, was to a gentleman that had killed two men before, and had gotten pardons for them by money. This being the third, the King looked very ſilent in locking over the petition. George ſtanding by, aſked the King what he was
