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there was no certainty that she would swim from one minute to another, and the love of life, which I believe never shewed itself better in the approach to death, began now to level all distinctions; it was impossible indeed for any man to deceive himself with a hope of being saved on a raft in such a sea, besides that the ship sinking, it was probable would carry every thing down with her in a vortex, to a certain distance.
It was near 5 o’clock, when coming from the cabin I observed a number of people looking very anxiously over the side, and looking myself, I saw that several people had forced the pinnace, and that more were attempting to get in; I had immediate thoughts of securing this boat, before she might be sunk by numbers, there appeared not more than a moment for consideration, to remain and perish with the ship’s company, whom I could not be any longer of use to, or seize the opportunity which seemed the only way of escaping, and leave the people whom I had been so well satisfied with on a variety of occasions, that I thought I could give my life to preserve them, this indeed was a painful conflict, and which I believe no man can describe, nor any man have a just idea of who has not been in a similar situation. The love of life prevailing, I called to Mr Rainey the master, the only officer upon deck, desiring him to follow me, and immediately descended into the boat at the after-part of the chains, but not without great difficulty got the boat clear from the ship, more than the number that the boat could carry pushing to get in, and many jumping into the water. Mr Baylie, a young Gentleman of 15 years of age, leaped from the chains after the boat had got off, and was taken in. The boat falling astern, the calm exposed us to the sea, and we endeavoured to put her bow round to keep her to the break of the sea, and to pass to windward of the ship, but in the attempt she was nearly filled, the sea ran too high, and the only probability of living was keeping her before the wind. It was then I became sensible how little if any better, our condition was than those who remained on board the ship, at best it appeared to be only a prolongation of a miserable existence.
