'TIS EASY TO GET MISTAKEN
In a cozy cot, mid bloom and leaf,
There dwelt a woman very deaf,—
If anything special she wished to hear
She'd put a trumpet to her ear.
Without the instrument, she could at best
But hear some—and guess the rest.
There dwelt a woman very deaf,—
If anything special she wished to hear
She'd put a trumpet to her ear.
Without the instrument, she could at best
But hear some—and guess the rest.
One day she laid it on a chair—
Got up, and left it lying there—
And went to work sweeping the floor
Just as a peddler reached the door.
And to the man it did occur
That he might sell some goods to her.
Got up, and left it lying there—
And went to work sweeping the floor
Just as a peddler reached the door.
And to the man it did occur
That he might sell some goods to her.
"Good morning Marm, fine day" quoth he—
"I thought I'd just call, and see"—
Just come from sea! is that what ye say?
Well, and who are ye any way?"
"Oh, pray excuse me marm! I said—
I simply called to sell some thread"—
"I thought I'd just call, and see"—
Just come from sea! is that what ye say?
Well, and who are ye any way?"
"Oh, pray excuse me marm! I said—
I simply called to sell some thread"—
"Swell on the head? well there I vow—
What you been up to any how?"
"Beg pardon marm!"—at her he stared,
"But is your hearing not impared?"
"My herrings pared? Yes, scraped off the scales
And then cut off the heads and tails!"
What you been up to any how?"
"Beg pardon marm!"—at her he stared,
"But is your hearing not impared?"
"My herrings pared? Yes, scraped off the scales
And then cut off the heads and tails!"
The peddler's voice grew loud and louder:—
"Say marm! don 't you want to buy some powder?
Here is one dozen shell hair pins"—
"What! want to sell a pair of twins?
Why man, you make a body laugh,
I'd rather buy a Jersey calf—
"Say marm! don 't you want to buy some powder?
Here is one dozen shell hair pins"—
"What! want to sell a pair of twins?
Why man, you make a body laugh,
I'd rather buy a Jersey calf—
Me! buy them twins!"—"Madam, your wrong!
Have been mistaken all along!"—
"Didn't take 'em along? it's just as well,
For twins ain't very good to sell."
"Excuse me marm—but my belief
Is that you must be a little deaf!"
Have been mistaken all along!"—
"Didn't take 'em along? it's just as well,
For twins ain't very good to sell."
"Excuse me marm—but my belief
Is that you must be a little deaf!"
"A little beef?—for dinner—hey?
Beef and herrings did you say?'
I didn't say so!"he loudly roar'd—
But his voice took wing and upward soar'd.
"Don't worry—you won't have to wait,
I'll get your dinner before 'tis late."
Beef and herrings did you say?'
I didn't say so!"he loudly roar'd—
But his voice took wing and upward soar'd.
"Don't worry—you won't have to wait,
I'll get your dinner before 'tis late."
"Don't want no dinner!" he yelled in her ear,
"Gal darn ye! can't I make ye hear?"
"Hain't got no beer for you." said she,
"You needn't get mad and swear at me!"
"Beg pardon!" he yelled with voice immense,
"But I certainly mean't you no offence"—
"Gal darn ye! can't I make ye hear?"
"Hain't got no beer for you." said she,
"You needn't get mad and swear at me!"
"Beg pardon!" he yelled with voice immense,
"But I certainly mean't you no offence"—
"Fence? you'll find out if there's a fence or not
If you don 't get out—now! on the spot!
All you know is to make comments—
Great pile you know about our fence!"
"To sell you something was my plan—
Here Madam! don't you want a fan?"
If you don 't get out—now! on the spot!
All you know is to make comments—
Great pile you know about our fence!"
"To sell you something was my plan—
Here Madam! don't you want a fan?"
"Me want a man! how could you guess!
Of course my answer must be yes.
Me! want a man! what's that I hear?"
And she put the trumpet to her ear.
"Don't shoot! don't shoot!" the peddler said,
And instantly turned on his heel and fled.
Of course my answer must be yes.
Me! want a man! what's that I hear?"
And she put the trumpet to her ear.
"Don't shoot! don't shoot!" the peddler said,
And instantly turned on his heel and fled.