Preparation for Death/X. HOW WE MUST PREPARE FOR DEATH
CONSIDERATION X
How we must prepare for death
"Prepare to meet thy God." Amos iv. 12.
First Point.
ALL confess that they must die, and die but once; and that there is nothing of greater consequence than this; for our eternal happiness or our eternal unhappiness depends upon the moment of death. We all know a happy or an unhappy death depends upon the life we have led. And yet, how is it that nearly all Christians live as if they would never have to die, and as if dying a happy or an unhappy death could be of little importance? Truly we lead a wicked life, because we think not upon death. " In all thy works remember thy last end, and thou shalt never sin." (Ecclus. vii. 40.) We must be persuaded that the hour of death is not the proper time to set our accounts in order, nor to make the great concern of our eternal salvation secure. The wise ones of this world, in worldly matters, take every precaution at the proper time towards obtaining that gain, that post, that matrimonial alliance; when the health of their body is concerned, they lose no time before applying the needful remedies. What would you say of any one who, having undertaken an academical contest, would defer preparing himself for it until the time was come? Would not that general be indeed mad, who should wait until besieged, to lay in stores of provisions and arms? Would not that pilot be mad, who should forget to provide himself with cable and anchors until the time of the tempest? That Christian is even in this state, to whom the hour of death arrives before his conscience is made clean in the sight of God. " When your fear cometh as desolation .... then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer, therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way." (Prov. i. 27, 28, 31.) The time of death is a time of tempest and confusion; then will sinners call upon God to help them, but only for fear of hell, to which they see themselves so near, and without a sincere conversion, and therefore God will not hear them. And therefore also very justly they shall then reap truly the fruits of their evil life. Alas for them, it will not be enough to take the Sacraments. It is necessary to die hating sin and loving God beyond all things; but how can he hate forbidden pleasures, who, until that time, has loved them, so much? and how can he love God beyond all things, who, until that time, has loved the creature more than God?
The Lord called those virgins foolish and, indeed, they were so who wished to prepare their lamps when the bridegroom was nigh. A sudden death is dreaded by all, because there is then no time to settle our accounts. All confess that the saints were indeed wise, because they prepared for death before it came. And what are we doing? Do we wish to find ourselves in danger of being obliged to prepare for death when death is already near? therefore, now is the time in which we must do that, which we shall wish we had done when death is nigh. Oh, what anguish will the memory of the time we have lost, and even more, the time that has been badly spent, then cause us a time given by God to make ourselves worthy, but a time that is past, and which will never return! What anguish will it then give us to hear, " Thou canst be no longer steward."
There will be no more time for repentance, to frequent the Sacrament, to hear sermons, and to pray. What will be done, will be done. We shall then require a sounder mind, a quieter time to make our confession as it should be made, in order to
resolve many points of grave scruple, and thus to ease our conscience; but " time will be no longer." Affections and Prayers.
Ah, my God, if I had died during one of those nights, of which Thou knowest, where now should I have been? I thank Thee for having waited for me, and I also thank Thee for all those moments which would have been spent in everlasting punishment from that time when I first offended Thee. Ah, give me light, and make me to understand the great wrong I have done Thee, by willingly losing Thy grace, which Thou hast merited for me in sacrificing Thyself upon the Cross for me. Ah, my Jesus, pardon me, for I repent with my whole heart, above every other evil, that of having despised Thy Infinite Goodness. I hope that Thou hast already pardoned me. Ah, help me, O my Saviour, so that I may never lose Thee more. Ah, my Lord, if again I should offend Thee as I used to do, after having received so many lights and graces from Thee, should I not deserve a special place of torment? Ah, through the merits of that Blood which Thou hast shed through love of me, never permit this. Give me holy perseverance; give me Thy love. I love Thee, O my Sovereign Good, and I wish never to cease to love Thee, even until my death. My God, have mercy upon me for the love of Jesus Christ.
Second Point.
Therefore, my brother, as it is certain that you will have to die, lose no time in casting yourself at the feet of your Crucified Lord; thank Him for the time that He in His mercy gives you to make your conscience clear in His sight; and then take all the wickedness of your past life in review, especially the wickedness committed in youth. Glance over the Divine commands; examine what you have done, the society you have been in the habit of visiting; make a note of all your failings, and make a general confession of your whole life, if you have not done so already. Oh, how much a good general confession assists a Christian in living a holy life! Consider that these are examinations for eternity, and therefore make them as if you were on the point of being examined by Jesus Christ, Who will be your Judge. Drive away from your heart every unholy affection, every spiteful feeling; remove now every scruple concerning the property of others, characters taken away, scandals noised abroad; and make up your mind to fly those occasions in which you may be in danger of losing God. Consider that what seems difficult to you now, at the moment of death will seem to be impossible.
It is of the greatest importance that you should make a resolution to practise every means to preserve yourself in the grace of God namely, to attend daily Celebration, to meditate upon the eternal truths, to go to confession and to communicate at least every week, to examine your conscience every night, and, above all, to commend yourself very often to God, calling upon the most holy Name of Jesus, and this particularly at the time of temptation. By so doing we may at least hope to die a happy death, and to obtain our eternal salvation.
And as for the past, you must trust in the Blood of Jesus Christ, Who gives you these lights now, because He wishes you to be saved. By living thus, and trusting in Jesus, God gives us His help,, and our souls gain strength! Therefore make haste, dear reader, and give yourself to God, Who thus calls you, and you will begin to taste that peace, of which your sin until now has deprived you. And what greater peace can any one feel than being able to say when lying down to rest at night, "If I should die this night, I hope to die in the grace of God?" If we are awaiting death with resignation when it is God's will, it is even consoling to hear the thunders roaring, and to feel the earth trembling.
Affections and Prayers.
Ah, my Lord, how I thank Thee for the light that Thou givest me. I have so often left Thee, and turned away from Thee; but Thou hast never left me. If Thou hadst, I should have remained blind, as I was willing to be during the years that are past; I should have remained obstinate in my sin; I should neither have felt the wish to leave it, nor the desire to love Thee. Now I feel very grieved for having offended Thee, and a great desire to remain in Thy grace. I feel a great aversion from those wretched pleasures which caused me to lose Thy friendship. All these feelings of sorrow for past sins, are graces which come from Thee, and make me hope that Thou art willing to pardon and to save me. Since, therefore, with all my sins, Thou hast not abandoned me, but hast wished to save me, behold, Lord, I give myself entirely to Thee; I repent beyond every other evil that of having offended Thee; and I would give my life many times over, if it were possible, rather than lose Thy grace. I love Thee, my Highest Good; I love Thee, my Jesus, Who once died for me, and I hope through Thy Blood that Thou wilt never more permit me to be separated from Thee. No, my Jesus, never more would I lose Thee. I would ever love Thee in life; I would love Thee in death; and I would love Thee for all eternity. Do Thou ever keep me, and do Thou increase my love towards Thee; and this I ask through Thy merits.
Third Point.
It is, moreover, necessary to endeavour each hour that we live to be in such a frame of mind as we should like to be when dying: "Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord." (Rev. xiv. 13.) S. Ambrose observes that those persons die a happy death who, when the hour of death arrives, are found already dead to the world, even to those things from which death will come to sever them by force. So that we must from this hour accept the spoiling of our inheritances, separations from our relatives, and from all the things of this world. If we do not do this willingly in life, we shall have to do it of necessity in death; but then with great grief and peril to our eternal salvation. And for this cause S. Augustine warns us that, in order to die in peace, it is necessary to settle our worldly interests during life, and now to dispose in a proper way of those earthly goods we shall have to leave, so that in death our time may be given up to the uniting of ourselves with God. At that time, our thoughts should be of God and Paradise only. Those last moments are too precious to be wasted upon the things of earth. The crown of the elect is perfected in death, for perchance it is then that we merit most the crown, by embracing those pains and that death with resignation and love.
But he will never have these holy feelings in death, who has not practised them in life. Some devout persons make a practice (and with great profit to themselves) of renewing every month a certain desire for death, imagining themselves to be on their death-bed, placing themselves as if in the presence of death.
That which is not done during life is very difficult to be done in death. Sister Catherine of S. Albert, who was a faithful servant of God, when dying, said, " I do not sigh because I fear death, because for twenty-five years I have been expecting it; but I sigh because I see many deceive themselves by leading a life of sin, and thus put off making their peace with God until the hour of death, when I feel as if I can hardly pronounce the name of Jesus."
Therefore examine yourself, my brother, and see whether your heart is fond of anything that is of the earth that person, that honour, that house, that money, that conversation, those amusements; and reflect that you are not immortal. Some day you will have to leave all these things, and perhaps very soon. Why then are you so fond of them? and thus run the risk of dying a miserable death? From this hour offer everything to God, being ready to give up all when it shall please Him. If you wish to die submissive, you must resign yourself to all that may befall you, and divest yourself of every earthly affection. Reflect upon the moment of death, and as you would then despise all things do so now. S. Jerome observes, " He easily despises all things who ever regards himself as one about to die."
If you have not yet decided upon what life you shall lead, make choice of that which you will wish you had chosen at the moment of death, and that which will make you die a happy death. If you have already chosen it, do what you will wish to have done in that particular life. Act t.s if each day were the last of your life, each action were the last, each prayer the last, each confession the last, and each communion the last. Act as if each hour were your last, and stretched upon a bed you heard this intimated, " Depart out of this world."
This thought, Oh! how greatly will it help you to walk through and to separate yourself from this world. " Blessed is that servant, whom when his Lord cometh He shall find so doing." (S. Matt. xxiv. 26.) He who expects death at every hour, even though he should die suddenly, will not fail to die well.
Affections and Prayers.
Every Christian ought to be prepared to say, when death shall be announced to him, Since therefore, my God, but so few hours remain to me, I would love Thee as much as it is possible for me to do during the short time I shall have in this life, so that I may love Thee more in the life to come. But little remains for me to offer Thee; therefore I will offer these my pains to Thee, and the sacrifice of my life, together with the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, made for me upon the Cross. O Lord, the pains which I am suffering are but few and very slight compared with what I deserve to suffer: such as they are I embrace in token of the love I have for Thee. I yield myself to every punishment that it may please Thee to send me. If only I may love Thee in eternity, punish me as Thou wilt, but do not deprive me of Thy love. I know that I do not deserve to love Thee any longer, because I have so often despised Thy love; but Thou wilt not spurn a repentant soul. I repent, O my Sovereign Good, for having offended Thee. I love Thee with all my heart, and trust everything to Thee. Thy death, O my Redeemer, is my hope. Into Thy wounded hands I commend my soul. " Into Thy hands I commend my spirit: for Thou hast redeemed me, O Lord, Thou God of truth." (Ps. xxxi. 6.) O my Jesus, Thou Who hast given Thy Blood to save me, do Thou never allow me to be separated from Thee. I love Thee, O Eternal God, and I hope to love Thee in eternity.