Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3811/Essence of Parliament
(Extracted from the Diary of Toby, M.P.)
House of Lords, Monday, July 13.—Camperdown, like Habakkuk, is capable de tout. Can do (is at least ready to undertake) anything. Like Lord John Russell, he would at an hour's notice take charge of the British Fleet, whether in Home waters or on Foreign stations. Confesses with pathetic modesty that there are two things beyond his capacity. One is to find a needle in a pottle of hay; the other, to discover a teller in Division Lobby when no one proposes to tell.
To-night this last dilemma faced noble earl. Home Rule Amendment Bill before House on Report stage. Macdonell moved amendment introducing principle of proportional representation. After long debate Question put from Woolsack. There being a few cries of "Not content!" House cleared for division.
The shade of Masterman recalls happy memories to the inconsolable Worthington Evans.
Hereupon strange thing happened. Whilst majority of peers streamed into Content Lobby discovery was made that not only were there no tellers for the Not-Contents but no Not-Contents for the tellers. Fortunately Camperdown on the spot. Instantly took charge of the affair. According to his own narrative, which thrilled the listening Senate, he had gone into the Division Lobby, "where," he added, "I stayed a long time."
Began to realise something of the feeling of the boy who stood on the burning deck whence all but he had fled. Camperdown essentially a man of action. No use mooning round deserted Lobby wondering where everybody was. "I tried," he protested, "to find a teller for the Not-Contents, which I was not able to do. There were no Not-Contents in the Not-Contents' Lobby and there were no tellers. I do not know," he added, turning his head with enquiring pose, like Mr. Pecksniff asking his pupil Martin Chuzzlewit to take compass, pencil and paper, and "give me your idea of a wooden leg," "whether any of your lordships have seen an occurrence like this before. I have not."
Murmur of sympathy ran round perturbed benches. Dilemma awful, unprecedented, irretrievable. But everyone felt that Camperdown had done his duty, and that if he had failed to find Not-Contents in an empty Lobby no one else could have found them.
Business done.—In House of Commons Premier announced winding-up of business at earliest possible moment with intent to meet again in "early winter" for new Session. No Autumn Session, you'll observe. Feeling against it so strong that insistence might have broken bonds that link faithful Ministerialists with their esteemed Leader. Accordingly prorogation about usual time in August, and new Session, instead of opening in February, will date from November. When we come to think of it, seems to amount to much the same thing as Autumn Session, which usually begins in mid-October. That an illusion. There will be no Autumn Session. Only we shall all be back at Westminster again in drear November.
"He did not want these adaptations of a German system which the Chancellor of the Exchequer seemed to have chosen."—Lord Hugh Cecil.
House of Commons, Tuesday.—Like Rachel weeping for her children, the Opposition will not be comforted in respect of the continued absence of Chancellor of the Duchy. 'Tis a touching trait, illustrating the high level of human nature the Commons reach. Had it been Masterman's political friends who mourned his absence, recognising in it cause of insecurity for the Empire, situation would be natural and comprehensible. It is from the so-labelled enemy's camp that lamentation is sounded. Worthington Evans, Masterman's severest censor whilst he still sat on Treasury Bench in charge of Insurance Act, is in especial degree inconsolable. Physically and intellectually reduced to a pulp—using the word of course in Parliamentary sense.
As he is too unnerved to dwell upon subject, Barnston and Hayes Fisher to-day take it up. Want to know how long a state of things most painful on their side of the House is to continue? Premier makes light reply. Points out that it's no new thing for a Minister to fail to find a seat, the globe meanwhile serenely revolving on its axis. In 1885 and in 1892 the Duchy was unrepresented on the Treasury Bench.
A more striking case, overlooked by Premier, of a Minister long struggling with adversity at the poll finding the door of House of Commons bolted and barred is familiar to Lord Halsbury. Appointed Solicitor-General in 1875 Hardinge Giffard did not take his seat till the Session of 1877. Crushed at Cardiff, left in the lurch at Launceston, hustled at Horsham, named as a probable starter at every election race in the three kingdoms taking place within a period of eighteen months, he persuaded the blushing borough of Launceston, on a second wooing, to yield to his advances.
Oddly enough, when at last he came to the Table to take the oath, he found he had mislaid the return to the writ, production of which is indispensable preliminary. Was nearly turned back, a calamity averted by discovery of the document in his hat on a bench under the Gallery where he had awaited Speaker's summons to the Table.
But precedents are nothing when the bosom is deeply stirred.
"Can't the Chancellor of the Duchy make an effort to secure a seat?", Barnston asked in tremulous voice.
"He has made two already," retorted the practical Premier.
Then came along Watt, with cryptic inquiry breaking silence that brooded over Ministerial benches.
"Has the time not arrived," he asked, "to jettison Jonah, in view of the fact that nobody seems willing to swallow him but the whale?"
House left thinking the matter over.
Business done.—House of Lords passed Third Reading of transformed Home Rule Amendment Bill. In the Commons Budget Bill again dealt with in Committee. Sharp strictures from both sides. But Ministerialists who had come to criticise remained to vote in its favour. Majority accordingly maintained at normal level.
Wednesday.—Son Austen, who little more than a fortnight ago left the House Member for East Worcester, returned to-day representing the division of Birmingham where his father sat impregnably throned for uninterrupted period of twenty-nine years. As he walked up to Table to take the oath and sign afresh the roll of Parliament, was hailed by hearty burst of general cheering.
This rare. Common enough for one or other political party to welcome recruit to its ranks. On such occasions, the other side sit silent, save when especial circumstances elicit responsive bout of ironical cheering. To-day's demonstration afforded striking recognition of genuine merit modestly displayed.
Ever a difficult thing for young Member to be son of distinguished father also seated in the House. Position to be sustained only by exercise of qualities of mind and manner rarely combined. Whilst his father yet enthralled attention and admiration of House by supreme capacity Son Austen successfully faced the ordeal. After Don José's withdrawal from the scene his son's advance to a leading place in the councils of his party and the estimation of the House was rapid. Within limits of present Session he has shown increased power as a debater, promising attainment of still loftier heights. Ever courteous in manner, untainted by the "new style" deplored by Premier, he, though an uncompromising party man, has made no personal enemies among any section of his political opponents.
Business done.—House of Lords threw out Plural Voters Bill on second time of asking. Commons still in Committee on Budget.