Social Parallels

by Barry Pain

SOCIAL PARALLELS. BY BARRY PAIN.

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I.— THE FRIENDLY CHAT.

"I'd a penny ter spend yes'day, and spent it, too."

"Ho!"

"Yur never 'as nutthink."

"Per'aps I do, an' per'aps I don't."

"Whort der yer mean?"

"On'y fawther's dorg bit a perleeceman the other dye, and I saw it."

"Go it—allus braggin'."

"It ain't braggin'—it's terewth. And if it was, 'oo begun it? You with your mucky penny, whort yer've never 'ad."

***

"We shall see you at the duchess's, of course."

"No, we are not going."

"You never seem to go out anywhere. It is a shame that people don't ask the really nice people."

"Perhaps they do ask us, and we don't go."

"I don't quite see what you mean, dear."

"Only, Herbert and I made up our minds, when we married, that we would live the higher life, and we do not care for some forms of amusement."

"Of course, dear, you're very clever, but do you think you ought to despise everybody like this?"

"I don't—I only state the facts. And surely it is you who are so ready to despise people, on the strengh of the invitation from the duchess, which you've got out of her at last."

II.—A PROPOSAL

"Stow it, 'Erry!"

"Garn! 'Oo's afride? (Kisses her again.) If yer ain't as tistey a little bit as theer is on the 'Eath!"

"Oh, I dessay! Whort are yer gettin' at?"

"Merridge, an' strite."

"Ho yuss! Surposin' I ain't fur tikin' of yer?"

"And surposin' yer awe. Yer knows I'm fond of yer, Hagnes."

"Well, yer do keep on at it so. If yer really—oh, then, anythink to please yer. (Aside) 'Mrs. 'Erry 'Aniford'—it sarnds pretty clawssy."

***

"Harry! Please!"

"Don't be afraid of me, dear!" (Kisses her again.) Heaven never dreamed anything more beautiful than you."

"Ah, I wonder! (Sighs.) What does this all mean?"

"That I love you—that you must be my wife."

"Must?"

"Ah, you will not say No! You know how I adore you, Agnes."

"You are so—so persistent. If you love me like this, I—take me then, Harry. (Aside) 'Lady Haniford'—but, of course, it's not the title that I care about."