Something Like Nonsense Verses

1. — The Highland Jew

I saw a red-haired Jew from Aberdeen,
In a gaberdine,
At the Tabard Inn,
He wore a sword which was its scabbard in,
On a Wednesday!


2. — The Pious Q.C.

I saw MR. BIG BEN DENISON,
Ask a benison
On some venison,
Which he bought of ALFRED TENNYSON,
On a Wednesday.


3. — The Greek Maiden

I beg to state I love a yaller miss,
Born at Salamis,
And this gal, or miss,
Bound to meet me down at Balham is,
Every Wednesday!


4. — The Worthy Independent Minister

A worthy Independent minister,
Born at Finisterre,
Turning sinister,
Smothered his wife with fumes of kinaster
On a Wednesday!


5. — The Unhappy Marriage

Once I married a cook from charity,
But disparity,
And hair carrotty,
Made me treat her with barbarity
Every Wednesday!


6. — The Sensation Opera Troupe

I know a man who's going to offer GYE
Anthropophagi
(Or androphagi),
Who will sing with French hippophagi
Every Wednesday!


7. — The Unfortunate Revellers

Tipsy gents, the type of snobbery,
Drunk and slobbery,
Make a bobbery,
And the victims are of robbery
Every Wednesday.


8. — The Jealous Dancer

As I waltzed with JANE deliciously,
JONES officiously,
Injudiciously,
Bumped against us both most viciously,
On a Wednesday.


9. — The Polite Student

A civil student at my college (he
Learns horology
And conchology)
Offers me a full apology
Every Wednesday.


10. — The Undignified Nobleman

I know a nobleman whose publicity
And complicity
In mendicity
Is a fact of authenticity
Every Wednesday.


11. — The Absurd Chancellor

Once a chancellor of acidity
And timidity,
With rapidity
Used to sing out "Rum ti iddy ti!"
Every Wednesday.