The Works of Ben Jonson/Volume 4/The Alchemist/Act 3 Scene 2

by Ben Jonson

SCENE II.

A Room in Lovewit's House.

Enter Subtle, followed by Tribulation and Ananias.

Sub.O, are you come? 'twas time. Your threescore minutesWere at last thread, you see; and down had goneFurnus acediæ, turris circulatorius:^[1]Lembec, bolt's-head, retort and pelicanHad all been cinders.—Wicked Ananias!Art thou return'd? nay then, it goes down yet.

Tri.Sir, be appeased; he is come to humbleHimself in spirit, and to ask your patience, If too much zeal hath carried him asideFrom the due path.

Sub.Why, this doth qualify!

Tri.The brethren had no purpose, verily,To give you the least grievance: but are readyTo lend their willing hands to any projectThe spirit and you direct.

Sub.This qualifies more!

Tri.And for the orphans goods, let them be valued,Or what is needful else to the holy work,It shall be numbered; here, by me, the saints,Throw down their purse before you.

Sub.This qualifies most!Why, thus it should be, now you understand.Have I discours'd so unto you of our stone,And of the good that it shall bring your cause?Shew'd you (beside the main of hiring forcesAbroad, drawing the Hollanders, your friends,From the Indies, to serve you, with all their fleet)That even the med'cinal use shall make you a faction,And party in the realm? As, put the case,That some great man in state, he have the gout,Why, you but send three drops of your elixir,You help him straight: there you have made a friend.Another has the palsy or the dropsy,He takes of your incombustible stuff,He's young again: there you have made a friend.A lady that is past the feat of body,Though not of mind, and hath her face decay'dBeyond all cure of paintings, you restore,With the oil of talc:^[2] there you have made a friend; And all her friends. A lord that is a leper,A knight that has the bone-ach, or a squireThat hath both these, you make them smooth and sound,With a bare fricace of your med'cine: stillYou increase your friends.

Tri.Ay, it is very pregnant.

Sub.And then the turning of this lawyer's pewterTo plate at Christmas.———

Ana.Christ-tide, I pray you.^[3]

Sub.Yet, Ananias!

Ana.I have done.

Sub.Or changingHis parcel gilt to massy gold. You cannotBut raise you friends. Withal, to be of powerTo pay an army in the field, to buyThe king of France out of his realms, or SpainOut of his Indies. What can you not doAgainst lords spiritual or temporal,That shall oppone you?

Tri.Verily, 'tis true,We may be temporal lords ourselves, I take it.

Sub.You may be any thing, and leave off to makeLong-winded exercises; or suck upYour ha! and hum! in a tune. I not deny,But such as are not graced in a state,May, for their ends, be adverse in religion, And get a tune to call the flock together:For, to say sooth, a tune does much with women,And other phlegmatic people; it is your bell.

Ana.Bells are profane; a tune maybe religious.

Sub.No warning with you! then farewell my patience.'Slight, it shall down: I will not be thus tortured.

Tri.I pray you, sir.

Sub.All shall perish. I have spoke it.

Tri.Let me find grace, sir, in your eyes; the manHe stands corrected: neither did his zeal,But as your self, allow a tune somewhere.Which now, being tow'rd the stone, we shall not need.

Sub.No, nor your holy vizard, to win widowsTo give you legacies; or make zealous wivesTo rob their husbands for the common cause:Nor take the start of bonds broke but one day,And say, they were forfeited by providence.Nor shall you need o'er night to eat huge meals,To celebrate your next day's fast the better;The whilst the brethren and the sisters humbled,Abate the stiffness of the flesh. Nor castBefore your hungry hearers scrupulous bones;As whether a Christian may hawk or hunt,Or whether matrons of the holy assemblyMay lay their hair out, or wear doublets,Or have that idol starch about their linen.^[4]

Ana.It is indeed an idol.

Tri.Mind him not, sir.I do command thee, spirit of zeal, but trouble,To peace within him! Pray you, sir, go on.

Sub.Nor shall you need to libel 'gainst the prelates,And shorten so your ears against the hearingOf the next wire-drawn grace. Nor of necessityRail against plays, to please the aldermanWhose daily custard you devour: nor lieWith zealous rage till you are hoarse. Not oneOf these so singular arts. Nor call your selvesBy names of Tribulation, Persecution,Restraint, Long-patience, and such like, affectedBy the whole family or wood of you,^[5]Only for glory, and to catch the earOf the disciple.

Tri.Truly, sir, they areWays that the godly brethren have invented,For propagation of the glorious cause,As very notable means, and whereby also adThemselves grow soon, and profitably, famous.

Sub.O, but the stone, all's idle to it! nothing!The art of angels, nature's miracle,The divine secret that doth fly in clouds From east to west; and whose traditionIs not from men, but spirits.

Ana.I hate traditions;I do not trust them.———

Tri.Peace!

Ana.They are popish all.I will not peace: I will not———

Tri.Ananias!

Ana.Please the profane, to grieve the godly; I may not.

Sub.Well, Ananias, thou shalt overcome.^[6]

Tri.It is an ignorant zeal that haunts him, sir:But truly, else, a very faithful brother,A botcher, and a man, by revelation,That hath a competent knowledge of the truth.

Sub.Has he a competent sum there in the bagTo buy the goods within? I am made guardian,And must, for charity, and conscience sake,Now see the most be made for my poor orphan;Though I desire the brethren too good gainers:There they are within. When you have view'd, and bought 'em,And ta'en the inventory of what they are,They are ready for projection; there's no moreTo do cast on the med'cine, so much silverAs there is tin there, so much gold as brass,I'll give't you in by weight.

Tri.But how long time,Sir, must the saints expect yet?

Sub.Let me see,How's the moon now? Eight, nine, ten days hence,He will be silver potate; then three daysBefore he citronise: Some fifteen days,The magisterium will be perfected.

Ana.About the second day of the third week,In the ninth month?

Sub.Yes, my good Ananias.

Tri.What will the orphan's goods arise to, think you?

Sub.Some hundred marks, as much as fill'd three cars,Unladed now: you'll make six millions of them.—But I must have more coals laid in.

Tri.How!

Sub.Another load,And then we have finish'd. We must now increaseOur fire to ignis ardens, we are pastFimus equinus, balnei, cineris,And all those lenter heats. If the holy purseShould with this draught fall low, and that the saintsDo need a present sum, I have a trickTo melt the pewter, you shall buy now, instantly,And with a tincture make you as good Dutch dollarsAs any are in Holland.

Tri.Can you so?

Sub.Ay, and shall 'bide the third examination.

Ana.It will be joyful tidings to the brethren.

Sub.But you must carry it secret.

Tri.Ay; but stay,This act of coining, is it lawful?

Ana.Lawful! We know no magistrate:^[7] or, if we did,This is foreign coin.

Sub.It is no coining, sir.It is but casting.

Tri.Ha! you distinguish well:Casting of money may be lawful.

Ana.'Tis, sir.^[8]

Tri.Truly, I take it so.

Sub.There is no scruple,Sir, to be made of it; believe Ananias:This case of conscience he is studied in.

Tri.I'll make a question of it to the brethren.

Ana.The brethren shall approve it lawful, doubt not.Where shall it be done? [Knocking without.

Sub.For that we'll talk anon.There's some to speak with me. Go in, I pray you,And view the parcels. That's the inventory.I'll come to you straight. [Exeunt Trib. and Ana.

Who is it?—Face! appear.Enter Face in his uniform.How now! good prize?

Face.Good pox! yond' costive cheaterNever came on.

Sub.How then?

Face.I have walk'd the round^[9]Till now, and no such thing.

Sub.And have you quit him?

Face.Quit him! an hell would quit him too, he were happy.Slight! would you have me stalk like a mill-jade,All day, for one that will not yield us grains?I know him of old.

Sub.O, but to have gull'd him,Had been a mastery.

Face.Let him go, black boy!And turn thee, that some fresh news may possess thee.A noble count, a don of Spain, my dearDelicious compeer, and my party-bawd,Who is come hither private for his conscience,And brought munition with him, six great slops,Bigger than three Dutch hoys, beside round trunks,^[10]Furnished with pistolets, and pieces of eight,Will straight be here, my rogue, to have thy bath,(That is the colour,) and to make his batteryUpon our Dol, our castle, our cinque-port,Our Dover pier, our what thou wilt. Where is she?She must prepare perfumes, delicate linen,The bath in chief, a banquet, and her wit, For she must milk his epididimis.Where is the doxy?

Sub.I'll send her to thee:And but dispatch my brace of little John Leydens,And come again my self.

Face.Are they within then?

Sub.Numbering the sum.

Face.How much?

Sub.A hundred marks, boy. [Exit.

Face.Why, this is a lucky day. Ten pounds of Mammon!Three of my clerk! a portague of my grocer!This of the brethren! beside reversions,And states to come in the widow, and my count!My share to-day will not be bought for forty—

Enter Dol.

Dol.What?

Face.Pounds, dainty Dorothy! art thou so near?

Dol.Yes; say, lord general, how fares our camp?

Face.As with the few that had entrench'd themselvesSafe, by their discipline, against a world, Dol,And laugh'd within those trenches, and grew fatWith thinking on the booties, Dol, brought inDaily by their small parties. This dear hour,A doughty don is taken with my Dol;And thou mayst make his ransom what thou wilt,My Dousabel;^[11] he shall be brought here fetter'd With thy fair looks, before he sees thee; and thrownIn a down-bed, as dark as any dungeon;Where thou shalt keep him waking with thy drum;Thy drum, my Dol, thy drum; till he be tameAs the poor black-birds were in the great frost,Or bees are with a bason; and so hive himIn the swan-skin coverlid, and cambric sheets,Till he work honey and wax, my little God's-gift.^[12]

Dol.What is he, general?

Face.An adalantado,A grandee, girl. Was not my Dapper here yet?

Dol.No.

Face.Nor my Drugger?

Dol.Neither.

Face.A pox on 'em,They are so long a furnishing! such stinkardsWould not be seen upon these festival days.—Re-enter Subtle,How now! have you done?

Sub.Done. They are gone: the sumIs here in bank, my Face. I would we knewAnother chapman now would buy 'em outright.

Face.'Slid, Nab shall do't against he have the widow,To furnish household.

Sub.Excellent, well thought on:Pray God he come.

Face.I pray he keep awayTill our new business be o'erpast.

Sub.But, Face,How cam'st thou by this secret don?

Face.A spiritBrought me th' intelligence in a paper here,As I was conjuring yonder in my circleFor Surly; I have my flies abroad. Your bathIs famous, Subtle, by my means. Sweet Dol,You must go tune your virginal, no losingO'the least time: and, do you hear? good action.Firk, like a flounder; kiss, like a scallop,^[13] close;And tickle him with thy mother-tongue. His greatVerdugoship^[14] has not a jot of language;So much the easier to be cozen'd, my Dolly.He will come here in a hired coach, obscure,And our own coachman, whom I have sent as guide,No creature else. [Knocking without.] Who's that?[Exit Dol.

Sub.It is not he?

Face.O no, not yet this hour.

Re-enter Dol.

Sub.Who is't?

Dol.Dapper,Your clerk.

Face.God's will then, queen of Fairy,On with your tire; [Exit Dol.] and, doctor, with your robes.Let's dispatch him for God's sake.

Sub.'Twill be long.

Face.I warrant you, take but the cues I give you, to sendIt shall be brief enough. [Goes to the window.] 'Slight, here are more!Abel, and I think the angry boy, the heir,That fain would quarrel.

Sub.And the widow?

Face.No,Not that I see. Away! [Exit Sub.

Enter Dapper.—O sir, you are welcome.The doctor is within a moving for you;I have had the most ado to win him to it!—He swears you'll be the darling of the dice:AHe never heard her highness dote till now.Your aunt has given you the most gracious wordsThat can be thought on.

Dap.Shall I see her grace?

Face.See her, and kiss her too.—Enter Abel, followed by Kastril.What, honest Nab!Hast brought the damask?

Nab.No, sir; here's tobacco.

Face.'Tis well done, Nab: thou'lt bring the damask too?

Drug.Yes: here's the gentleman, captain, master Kastril,I have brought to see the doctor.

Face.Where's the widow?

Drug.Sir, as he likes, his sister, he says, shall come.

Face.O, is it so? good time. Is your name Kastril, sir?

Kas.Ay, and the best of the Kastrils, I'd be sorry else,By fifteen hundred a year. Where is the doctor?My mad tobacco-boy, here, tells me of oneThat can do things: has he any skill?

Face.Wherein, sir?

Kas.To carry a business, manage a quarrel fairly,Upon fit terms.

Face.It seems, sir, you are but youngAbout the town, that can make that a question.

Kas.Sir, not so young, but I have heard some speechOf the angry boys,^[15] and seen them take tobacco;And in his shop;^[16] and I can take it too.And I would fain be one of 'em, and go downAnd practise in the country.

Face.Sir, for the duello,The doctor, I assure you, shall inform you,To the least shadow of a hair; and shew youAn instrument he has of his own making,Wherewith no sooner shall you make reportOf any quarrel, but he will take the height on'tMost instantly, and tell in what degreeOf safety it lies in, or mortality.And how it may be borne, whether in a right line,Or a half circle; or may else be castInto an angle blunt, if not acute:All this he will demonstrate. And then, rulesTo give and take the lie by.

Kas.How! to take it?

Face.Yes, in oblique he'll shew you, or in circle;But never in diameter.^[17] The whole townStudy his theorems, and dispute them ordinarilyAt the eating academies.

Kas.But does he teachLiving by the wits too?

Face.Any thing whatever.You cannot think that subtlety but he reads it.He made me a captain. I was a stark pimp,Just of your standing, 'fore I met with him;It is not two months since. I'll tell you his method:First, he will enter you at some ordinary.

Kas.No, I'll not come there: you shall pardon me.

Face.For why, sir?

Kas.There's gaming there, and tricks.

Face.Why, would you beA gallant, and not game?

Kas.Ay, 'twill spend a man.

Face.Spend you! it will repair you when you are spent.How do they live by their wits there, that have ventedSix times your fortunes?

Kas.What, three thousand a year!

Face.Ay, forty thousand.

Kas.Are there such?

Face.Ay, sir,And gallants yet. Here's a young gentlemanIs born to nothing,—[Points to Dapper.] forty marks a year,Which I count nothing:—he is to be initiated,And have a fly of the doctor. He will win you,By unresistible luck, within this fortnight,Enough to buy a barony. They will set himUpmost, at the groom porters, all the Christmas:And for the whole year through, at every place,Where there is play, present him with the chair;The best attendance, the best drink; sometimesTwo glasses of Canary, and pay nothing;The purest linen, and the sharpest knife, The partridge next his trencher and somewhereThe dainty bed, in private, with the dainty.You shall have your ordinaries bid for him,As play-houses for a poet; and the masterPray him aloud to name what dish he affects,Which must be butter'd shrimps: and those that drinkTo no mouth else, will drink to his, as beingThe goodly president mouth of all the board.

Kas.Do you not gull one?

Face.'Ods my life! do you think it?You shall have a cast commander, (can but getIn credit with a glover, or a spurrier,For some two pair of either's ware aforehand,)Will, by most swift posts, dealing [but] with him,Arrive at competent means to keep himself,His punk and naked boy, in excellent fashion,And be admired for't.

Kas.Will the doctor teach this?

Face.He will do more, sir: when your land is gone,As men of spirit hate to keep earth long,In a vacation, when small money is stirring,And ordinaries suspended till the term,He'll shew a perspective, where on one sideYou shall behold the faces and the personsOf all sufficient young heirs in town,Whose bonds are current for commodity;^[18]On th' other side, the merchants forms, and others,That without help of any second broker, Who would expect a share, will trust such parcels:In the third square, the very street and signWhere the commodity dwells, and does but waitTo be deliver'd, be it pepper, soap,Hops, or tobacco, oat-meal, woad, or cheeses.All which you may so handle, to enjoyTo your own use, and never stand obliged.

Kas.I'faith! is he such a fellow?

Face.Why, Nab here knows him.And then for making matches for rich widows,Young gentlewomen, heirs, the fortunat'st man!He's sent to, far and near, all over England,To have his counsel, and to know their fortunes.

Kas.God's will, my suster shall see him.

Face.I'll tell you, sir,What he did tell me of Nab. It's a strange thing!—By the way, you must eat no cheese, Nab, it breeds melancholy,And that same melancholy breeds worms; but pass it:—He told me, honest Nab here was ne'er at tavernBut once in's life!

Drug.Truth, and no more I was not

Face.And then he was so sick—

Drug.Could he tell you that too?

Face.How should I know it?

Drug.In troth we had been a shooting,And had a piece of fat ram-mutton to supper,That lay so heavy o' my stomach—

Face.And he has no headTo bear any wine; for what with the noise of the fidlers,And care of his shop, for he dares keep no servants—

Drug.My head did so ach—

Face.As he was fain to be brought home,The doctor told me: and then a good old woman—

Drug.Yes, faith, she dwells in Sea-coal-lane,—did cure me,With sodden ale, and pellitory of the wall;Cost me but two-pence. I had another sicknessWas worse than that.

Face.Ay, that was with the griefThou took'st for being cess'd at eighteen-pence,For the water-work.^[19]

Drug.In truth, and it was likeT' have cost me almost my life.

Face.Thy hair went off?

Drug.Yes, sir; 'twas done for spight.

Face.Nay, so says the doctor.

Kas.Pray thee, tobacco-boy, go fetch my suster;I'll see this learned boy before I go;And so shall she.

Face.Sir, he is busy now:But if you have a sister to fetch hither,Perhaps your own pains may command her sooner;And he by that time will be free.

Kas.I go. [Exit.

Face.Drugger she's thine: the damask!—[Exit Abel.] Subtle and IMust wrestle for her. [Aside.]—Come on, master Dapper,You see how I turn clients here away,To give your cause dispatch: have you perform'dThe ceremonies were enjoin'd you?

Dap.Yes, of the vinegar,And the clean shirt.

Face.Tis well: that shirt may do youMore worship than you think. Your aunt's a-fire,But that she will not shew it, t' have a sight of you.Have you provided for her grace's servants?

Dap.Yes, here are six score Edward shillings.

Face.Good!

Dap.And an old Harry's sovereign.

Face.Very good!

Dap.And three James shillings, and an Elizabeth groat,Just twenty nobles.

Face.O, you are too just.I would you had had the other noble in Maries.^[20]

Dap.I have some Philip and Maries.

Face.Ay, those sameAre best of all: where are they? Hark, the doctor.

Enter Subtle, disguised like a priest of Fairy, with a stripe of cloth.

Sub. [In a feigned voice.]Is yet her grace's cousin come?

Face.He is come.

Sub.And is he fasting?

Face.Yes.

Sub.And hath cried hum?

FaceThrice, you must answer.

Dap.Thrice.

Sub.And as oft buz?

Face.If you have, say.

Dap.I have.

Sub.Then, to her cuz,Hoping that he hath vinegar'd his senses,As he was bid, the Fairy queen dispenses,By me, this robe, the petticoat of fortune;Which that he straight put on, she doth importune.And though to fortune near be her petticoat,Yet nearer is her smock, the queen doth note:And therefore, ev'n of that a piece she hath sent,Which, being a child, to wrap him in was rent;And prays him for a scarf he now will wear it,With as much love as then her grace did tear it,About his eyes, [They blind him with the rag.] to shew he is fortunate.And, trusting unto her to make his state,He'll throw away all worldly pelf about him;Which that he will perform, she doth not doubt him.

Face.She need not doubt him, sir. Alas, he has nothing,But what he will part withal as willingly,Upon her grace's word—throw away your purse—As she would ask it:—handkerchiefs and all—[He throws away, as they bid him.She cannot bid that thing, but he'll obey.—If you have a ring about you, cast it off,Or a silver seal at your wrist; her grace will sendHer fairies here to search you, therefore dealDirectly with her highness: if they findThat you conceal a mite, you are undone.

Dap.Truly, there's all.

Face.All what?

Dap.My money; truly.

Face.Keep nothing that is transitory about you.Bid Dol play music. [Aside to Subtle.]—Look, the elves are come[Dol plays on the cittern within.To pinch you, if you tell not truth. Advise you.[They pinch him.

Dap.O! I have a paper with a spur-ryal in't.^[21]

Face.Ti, ti.^[22]They knew't, they say.

Sub.Ti, ti, ti, ti. He has more yet.

Face.Ti, ti-ti-ti. In the other pocket?[Aside to Sub.

Sub.Titi, titi, titi, titi, titi.They must pinch him or he will never confess, they say.[They pinch him again.

Dap.O, O!

Face.Nay, pray you hold: he is her grace's nephew,Ti, ti, ti? What care you? good faith you shall care.—Deal plainly, sir, and shame the fairies. ShewYou are innocent.

Dap.By this good light, I have nothing.

Sub.Ti, ti, ti, ti, to, ta. He does equivocate, she says:Ti, ti do ti, ti ti do, ti da; and swears by the light when he is blinded.

Dap.By this good dark, I have nothing but a half-crown Of gold^[23] about my wrist, that my love gave me;And a leaden heart I wore since she forsook me.

Face.I thought 'twas something. And would you incurYour aunt's displeasure for these trifles? Come,I had rather you had thrown away twenty half-crowns. [Takes it off.

You may wear your leaden heart still.—Enter Dol hastily.How now!

Sub.What news, Dol?

Dol.Yonder's your knight, sir Mammon.

Face.'Ods lid, we never thought of him till now!Where is he?

Dol.Here hard by: he is at the door.

Sub.And you are not ready, now! Dol, get his suit.^[24] [Exit Dol.

He must not be sent back.

Face.O by no means.What shall we do with this same puffin here,^[25]Now he's on the spit?

Sub.Why, lay him back awhile,With some device.Re-enter Dol. with Face's clothes.—Ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, Would her grace speak with me?I come.—Help, Dol! [Knocking without.

Face.[Speaks through the key-hole.] Who's there? sir Epicure,My master's in the way. Please you to walkThree or four turns, but till his back be turn'd,And I am for you.—Quickly, Dol!

Sub.Her graceCommends her kindly to you, master Dapper.

Dap.I long to see her grace.

Sub.She now is setAt dinner in her bed, and she has sent youFrom her own private trencher, a dead mouse,And a piece of ginger-bread, to be merry withal,And stay your stomach, lest you faint with fasting:Yet if you could hold out till she saw you, she Win says,It would be better for you.

Face.Sir, he shallHold out, an 'twere this two hours, for her highness;I can assure you that. We will not loseAll we have done.———

Sub.He must not see, nor speakTo any body, till then.

Face.For that we'll put, sir,A stay in's mouth.

Sub.Of what?

Face.Of gingerbread.Make you it fit. He that hath pleas'd her graceThus far, shall not now crincle for a little.—Gape sir, and let him fit you.[They thrust a gag of gingerbread in his mouth.

Sub.Where shall we nowBestow him?

Dol.In the privy.

Sub.Come along, sir,I now must shew you Fortune's privy lodgings.

Face.Are they perfum'd, and his bath ready?

Sub.All:Only the fumigation's somewhat strong

Face. [speaking through the key-hole.]Sir Epicure, I am yours, sir, by and by.[Exeunt with Dapper.

---

1. Furnus acediæ, turris circulatorius:] "Furnus acediæ sive incuriæ, ubi uno igne et parvo labore diversi furni foventur." Lex. Alch. Turris circulatorius est vas vitreum, ubi infusus liquor ascendendo et descendendo quasi in circulo rotatur." Ibid.
2. With the oil of talc:] "Talc is a cheap kind of mineral which this county (Sussex) plentifully affords, though not so fine as what is fetched from Venice. It is white and transparent like chrystal, full of strekes or veins, which prettily scatter themselves. Being calcined and variously prepared, it maketh a curious white-wash, which some justify lawful, because clearing not changing the complexion." Fuller's Worthies.
3. Christ-tide, I pray you.] For the scrupulous care with which the Puritans avoided the use of the Popish word mass, even in composition, see vol. iii. p. 178.
4. Or whether matrons of the holy assembly
   May lay their hair out, or wear doublets;
   Or have that idol starch about their linen.] The Puritans of our author's days affected all these, and other scruples of equal consequence; and would have reformed the dresses of the age, as well as the constitution and language of the kingdom, by scripture precedents, and scripture expressions. In the dominion of grace all was to be pure simplicity. There cannot be an exacter copy of the principles and practice of the fanatics in that time, than what is given us in this scene; the pamphlets and writings of that period, as well as the troubles that followed in the next reign, corroborate all that Jonson has here said. Whal.
5. —————————— And such like, affected
   By the whole family or wood of you.] We had this expression before, see vol. iii. p. 369. "Wood (says Upton) is used to signify any miscellaneous collection, or stock of materials, hence some poets intitle their miscellaneous works silvarum libri; and our poet, conforming to this practice, calls his the Forest."
6. Sub. Well, Ananias, thou shalt overcome.] This is very artfully managed. The zeal of Ananias is completely roused, and it is therefore no longer safe to oppose it. Subtle has watched the precise moment, and his affected forbearance, and change of language are timed with admirable adroitness, and profound knowledge of human nature. The sly and satiric humour of the next speech is above all praise. Though more than two centuries have elapsed since it was made, it has not lost a jot of its pertinency and value.
7. We know no magistrate;] The Puritans rejected all human forms of government as carnal ordinances; and were for establishing a plan of policy, in which the scripture only was to be the civil code. Whal.
8. 'Tis, sir.] This Ananias is a pleasant fellow. He quarrels with Christmas, and other innocent terms in common use, and yet is eager to vouch for the legality of false coining! The Puritan of Butler, with all his excellence, is but a copy of the one before us.
9. I have walk'd the round] i.e. the porch or circular parts of the Temple church, where Surly was to meet him: (p. 76.) Mr. Waldron informs me that, within his remembrance, it was left open in the day-time. If the reader chooses to understand it, simply, for "I have watched," there is sufficient authority for him.
10. And brought munition with him, six great slops,
    Bigger than three Dutch hoys, beside round trunks.] Large breeches or trowsers, such as are worn by sailors. Round trunks mean the trunk hose, which were the common wear of that and the preceding age. Whal.
11. My Dousabel;] i.e. douce et belle. This name is very common in our old pastoral poets, as is Bonnibel (bonne et belle,) which Jonson uses just below. Voltaire was accustomed to call his niece, Madame Denis, Belle et bonne: to say the truth, she had quite as much goodness as beauty; and so, indeed, had her uncle.
12. My little God's-gift.] "So (as Upton observes) he calls Dol, in allusion to her name, Dorothea, which has this meaning in Greek."
13. Kiss, like a scallop, close; &c.] We had this expression in Cynthia's Revels, p. 334: it is an allusion to a little poem attributed to the emperor Gallienus:
    ————————non murmura vestra columbæ,Brachia non hederæ, non vincant oscula conchæ, &c.
    
14. His great Verdugoship] Verdugo is the name of a noble Spanish family, and was probably that of some individual well known to the writers of Jonson's time. He is mentioned by Fletcher:
    "Contrive your beard o' the top cut, like Verdugo,"It shews you would be wise."Tamer Tamed.
    
15. ————————I have heard some speech
    Of the angry boys,] These are called the terrible boys, in the Silent Woman, the roarers and vapourers of the time. Whal.
16. And seen them take tobacco;
    And in his shop.] It has been already mentioned, (p. 28,) that Abel's shop was frequented by the adept, as well as the tyro, in the mystery of "taking tobacco. "Here the latter was duly qualified for his appearance at ordinaries, taverns, and other places of fashionable resort. Here he practised the "gulan ebolitio, the euripus, the whiffe," and many other modes of suppressing or emitting smoak with the requisite grace, under cavalier Shift, and other eminent masters, whose names have not reached the present times—carent quia vate sacro.
17. But never in diameter.] i.e. the lie direct; the others are the lie circumstantial. See As you Like it, where the several degrees are humorously recounted. The same subject is alluded to by Fletcher in words exactly similar to our author's:
    "————————Has he given the lie"In circle or oblique, or semicircle,"Or direct parallel? you must challenge him."Queen of Corinth, A. 4. sc. 1.
    
    The ridicule upon this absurdity of duelling is finely maintained, as occasion presented, by the great triumvirate of dramatic poets, Shakspeare, Jonson, and Fletcher. Whal.
    It only remains to refer the reader who may wish for further information on this subject, to a very pertinent note by Warburton on the following speech of Touchstone, As you Like it, A. 5. sc. 4. "O sir, we quarrel in print by the book," &c. The book alluded to there, as well as here, is a formal treatise on Honour and Honourable Quarrels, by Vincentio Saviolo; (a more precise Caranza;) and the copious extracts, which the commentator has judiciously selected, comprise all that is necessary to render the well-meant satire of our old dramatists fully intelligible.
18. Whose bonds are current for commodity;] This alludes to a practice often mentioned by the wits of Jonson's time, of compelling the young spendthrift to take a part of the sum which he wanted to borrow, in different kinds of damaged goods, at a stated price, of which he made what he could. There is no end to their pleasantry on this subject. See Massinger, vol. ii. p. 51.
19. Face.Ay, that was with the grief
    Thou took'st for being cess'd at eighteen-pence,
    For the water-work.] The New-River, begun in 1608 by sir Hugh Middleton, and finished in 1613. Whal.
    This is the second mistake on this subject. See p. 49.
20. Just twenty nobles. Face. O, you are too just.
    I would you had had the other noble in Maries] If the reader will be at the pains to reckon this account, he will find master Dapper deserves the praise of justice which Face gives him. Twenty nobles, at six shillings and eight-pence each, amount to the sum of six pounds thirteen shillings and four-pence, which sum the other pieces make. The Harry's sovereign was a half sovereign only, and valued at ten shillings. Face wanted the other noble in Maries, because the money was coined in the several successive reigns of Henry, Edward, Elizabeth, and James; so that Mary's being left out made a chasm in the account. Whal.
21. Dap. O, I have a paper with a spur-ryal in't.] A spur-ryal was a gold coin; and in the third of James I. it passed for fifteen shillings. They were first coined in Edward the Fourth's time. Whal.
22. Face. Ti, ti.] The fairies speak the same language in Randolph's Amyntas. I suppose that it is merely a hint to the performers to mutter some strange, and inarticulate jargon.
23. ———I have nothing but a half-crown
    Of gold.] Crowns in silver were not coined till Henry VIIIth's time, nor common till the reign of Edward VI. Whal.
24. Get his suit.] i.e. Face's: his servant's dress.
25. What shall we do with this same puffin here,] A species of water-coot, or gull.