CHAPTER XXVI.
"The treasures of the deep are not so precious
As are the concealed comforts of a man
Locked up in woman's love. I scent the air
Of blessings, when I come but near the house.
What a delicious breath marriage sends forth! . . .
The violet bed 's not sweeter."
During a sojourn of five years in Europe, I have spent many pleasant hours in strolling through old church-yards, and reading the epitaphs upon the tomb-stones of the dead. Part of the pleasure was derived from a wish for solitude; and no place offers as quiet walks as a village burial-ground. And the curious epitaphs that are to be seen in a church-yard six or eight hundred years old are enough to cause a smile, even in so solemn a place as a grave-yard. While walking through Horsleydown church, in Cumberland, a short time since, I read an inscription over a tomb which I copied, and shall give in this chapter, although at the risk of bringing down upon my devoted head the indignation of the fair sex. Domestic enjoyment is often blasted by an intermixture of foibles with virtues of a superior kind; and if the following shall prove a warning to wives, I shall be fully compensated for my trouble.
Here lie the bodies of
Thomas Bond, and Mary his wife.
She was temperate, chaste and charitable;
But
She was proud, peevish and passionate.
She was an affectionate wife and a tender mother;
But
Her husband and child, whom she loved, seldom saw her
countenance without a disgusting frown,
Whilst she received visitors, whom she despised, with an
endearing smile.
Her behavior was discreet toward strangers;
But
imprudent in her family.
Abroad, her conduct was influenced by good-breeding;
But
at home, by ill-temper.
She was a professed enemy to flattery, and was
Seldom known to praise or commend;
But
the talents in which she principally excelled were
difference of opinion, and discovering
flaws and imperfections.
She was an admirable economist,
and, without prodigality,
dispensed plenty to every person in her family;
But
would sacrifice their eyes to a farthing candle.
She sometimes made her husband happy with her good qualities;
But
Much more frequently miserable with her many failings;
Insomuch, that, in thirty years' cohabitation, he often
lamented that, maugre her virtues,
He had not, in the whole, enjoyed two years
of matrimonial comfort.
At length,
finding that she had lost the affections of her
husband, as well as the regard of her neighbors, family
disputes having been divulged by servants,
She died of vexation, July 20, 1768,
Aged 48 years.
Her worn-out husband survived her four months
and two days, and departed this life November 28, 1768,
in the 54th year of his age.
William Bond, brother to the deceased, erected
this stone,
a weekly monitor to the surviving wives of this
parish, that they may avoid the infamy
of having their memories handed down to posterity
with a patch-work character.