The Anatomy of Tobacco/Book I, Chapter III

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Chapter III.

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4263019The Anatomy of Tobacco — Chapter III.Arthur Machen

Chapter III

I.	Let a pipe (tubulus fumificus) be defined "instrumentum per quod tabaci fumus trahitur"—as an instrument by which the smoke of tobacco is inhaled.
II.	Let a bowl (vas) be defined "ea pars tubuli fumifici in quâ tabacus ponitur fumandus"—as that part of a pipe in which the tobacco that is to be smoked in placed.
III.	Let a stem (fistula) be defined "ea pars tubuli fumifici per quam tabaci fumus e vase in os ducitur"—as that part of a pipe by which the smoke is educted from the bowl into the mouth.
IV.	Let a mouthpiece (enstomateium) be defined "ea, pars fistulæ quæ vasi remotissima est, et quæ à fistula quoad materiam differt"—as that part of the stem which is furthest from the bowl, and differs from the stem in matter.
V.	Let a lid (operculum) be defined "id quod nonnullo vasi adjungitur, ne tabacus vento dispergatur"—as that which is sometimes affixed to the bowl lest the tobacco be scattered by the wind.
VI.	Let a hookah (vox Indica quæ Latiné nominatur "tubulus fumificus aquarius") be defined "tubuli fumifici species quædam, in quâ tabaci fumus per aquam trahitur”—as a certain kind of pipe in which the smoke of tobacco is drawn through water.
VII.	Ornament (ornamentum) is said to exist "cum tubulus fumificus, aut in vase, aut in fistulâ, non planam habet superficiem"—when a pipe, be it in the bowl or be it in the stem, hath not a flat surface.
VIII.	Essential colour (color nativus) is said to exist "cum facientis per artem, tubuli fumifici superficies pigmento quolibet imbuta est"—when by the art of the maker the surface of a pipe hath been imbued with some pigment.
IX.	Accidental colour (color factitius seu nicotinicus) is said to exist "cum per artem et perseverantiam fumantis, tubulus fumificus adeo oleo nicotinico imbutus est, ut ater aut subfuscus fiat"—when by the art and perseverance of the smoker a pipe hath been so imbued with the oil of tobacco that it becomes of a jet-black or brownish hue.
X.	A pipe is said to be simple (simplex) "cum solum ex unâ materie constat"—when it consists of only one kind of matter.
XI.	A pipe is said to be complex (complexus) "cum habet materiem complexam"—when it is composed of complex matter—that is to say, of more than one kind of matter.

Such are the eleven scholastic definitions of pipes, the various parts of pipes, the essential or accidental colour of pipes, and lastly the two definitions of simplicity and complicity, by the observance of which the Schoolmen have been able to divide all pipes into two great classes. Time was, indeed, when many were for three divisions—viz., simple, complex, and decomplex; wherein complex signified composed of two kinds of matter, and decomplex of more than two; but the researches of the learned and ingenious Schoolman Peter Pfeiffe^[1] (whose famous investigation into the nature of pickled pepper is a byword to this day) went far to demolish this theory, which received its final blow at the hands of the recluse Jacobulus de Cornibus. So we have to consider only two classes, with their various and minute divisions and subdivisions, which are given at length in the Synopsis of Pipes.

And to help the memory of the student are adjoined these six hexameters, which I deem of not such pure and classical Latinity as the former ones, but which are, nathless, well adapted to their purpose:—

Binis ordinibus tubuli ponantur: et Alter
Est Simplex; fit diversis è partibus Alter.
In primis Simplex classis disjungitur æque,
Fictilis è terrâ, sequitur tum ligneus ordo.
OBSTRoPOLous alio, FLaBbERgAST atque secundo
Pertinet. Cui legat, tubulum succendere fas est.

Further, by the way of comment upon the synopsis, it is to be observed that in the complex order the various subdivisions of the simple order are to be understood, with such obvious differences as will be apparent to all. For example, china pipes do not admit of accidental colour since they are already percocti; also in a hookah essential colour may coexist in two parts—in the vase for

SYNOPSIS OF PIPES

SIMPLE.

COMPLEX.

Clay.

Wood.

Clay.

Wood.

China.

Hookah.

Vase of China.

Vase of Glass.

As to Length.

As to Stem.

As to Tubes—Number.

I.

Long.

B

I.

Long.

F

I.

Of bone.

I.

Of bone.

I.

Of wood.

I.

Those which have one tube.

I.

Those which have one tube.

II.

Of moderate length.

II.

Of moderate length.

II.

Of wood.

II.

Of composition.

II.

Those which have more than one tube.

II.

Those which have more than one tube.

III.

Short.

III.

Short.

III.

Of composition.

As to Essential Colour.

I.

White.

S

I.

Black.

L

II.

Black.

II.

Dark brown.

III.

Red.

III.

Light brown.

IV.

Of two or more colours.

As to Accidental Colour.

As to Flexible Tube.

As to Tubes—Matter.

I.

Those which can be coloured well.

T

I.

Those which can be coloured well.

B

I.

Of silk.

I.

Of silk.

I.

Of silk.

I.

Of silk.

I.

Of silk.

II.

Those which can be coloured ill.

II.

Those which can be coloured ill.

II.

Of india-rubber.

II.

Of india-rubber.

II.

Of india-rubber.

II.

Of india-rubber.

II.

Of india-rubber.

III.

Those which can be coloured not at all.

III.

Those which can be coloured not at all.

III.

Of heterogeneous matter.

III.

Of heterogeneous matter.

III.

Of heterogeneous matter.

III.

Of heterogeneous matter.

III.

Of heterogeneous matter.

As to Ornament.

As to Tubes—Length.

I.

Those which have ornament.

R

I.

Those which have ornament.

E

I.

Those which have long tubes.

I.

Those which have long tubes.

II.

Those which have not ornament.

II.

Those which have not ornament.

II.

Those which have moderate tubes.

II.

Those which have moderate tubes.

III.

Those which have short tubes.

III.

Those which have short tubes.

As to Mouthpieces.

I.

Those which have mouthpieces

P

I.

Those which have mouthpieces

R

(1)

Of true amber.

(1)

Of true amber.

(2)

Of false amber.

(2)

Of false amber.

(3)

Of bone.

(3)

Of bone.

(4)

Of ivory.

(4)

Of ivory.

(5)

Of composition.

(5)

Of composition.

II.

Those which have not mouthpieces.

II.

Those which have not mouthpieces.

As to Lids.

I.

Those which have lids

O

I.

Those which have lids

A

(1)

Of gold.

(1)

Of gold.

(2)

Of silver.

(2)

Of silver.

(3)

Of base metal.

(3)

Of base metal.

II.

Those which have not lids.

II.

Those which have not lids.

As to Bowls.

I.

Those which have large bowls.

L

I.

Those which have large bowls.

S

II.

Those which have moderate bowls.

II.

Those which have moderate bowls.

II.

Those which have small bowls.

II.

Those which have small bowls.

As to sort of Wood.

I.

Of briar-root.

T

II.

Of cherry.

III.

Of elder.

IV.

Of chestnut.

V.

Of myall.

VI.

Of crocus.

holding the water, and the bowl for the tobacco.

Lastly, whereas some may reproach me for not having mentioned meerschaum pipes, I reply that meerschaum is merely a kind of clay, and whatever may be said of ordinary clay pipes may also be repeated as to meerschaum pipes (save that they have no essential colour). And seeing that this synopsis hath cost me much anxious thought and twisting of my brain, I do pray thee to excuse any defect thou mayest observe (though, indeed, I do hope that none exist). For while the general divisions into simple and complex hath long existed, yet the disputes and argumentations of the different schools hath left well-nigh every other matter in doubt and confusion. And at this point I must enjoin thee to truss up thine intellect and make it sure and fast, since we are about to enter upon the doctrines of the several schools, compared to which the Olive Groves of the Academy, and the Peripati of the Lyceum are but onion-trees and bitter cucumbers. So empty thy pipe, and let the tobacco in the next one be heedfully pressed down and clearly lighted.

↑ Petrus Fistularius, known as Magister Quidditatum, and Doctor Quidditatissimus.

[1] Petrus Fistularius, known as Magister Quidditatum, and Doctor Quidditatissimus.

[1]