The Annual Register/1758/Literary and Miscellaneous Essays/The remonstrance of the Mob of Great Britain against the importation of French words
The humble remonstrance of the mob of Great Britain, against the importation of French words, &c.
It is with infinite concern that we behold an inundation of French words pouring in upon us, and this at a time too when there is some sort of merit in detesting every thing that is French. In regard to ourselves, we are daily insulted, by some of the finest lips in the world, with the opprobrious term of Canaille: we cannot resent the insult from them, as they are too sacred for our unhallowed hands; besides, they are sufficiently punished, by the mirth they afford to the Mademoiselles, when they attempt to pronounce the uncouth word; for Canaille, from English lips, sounds Canal. But as most things are pardonable to the pride of the creation, we should readily excuse them, if the infection had not spread among the officers of our army; and as we chiefly compose the numerous squadrons that are to guard the liberties of Britain, we cannot conceive that we ought to have any more to do their languge, than we have with their religion. All our business is to beat them, and that we can do in plain English: if our officers order us to form a line, we can do it; but if they call that line a Cordon, we must be obliged to apply to the chaplain for a Denouement of the mysterious word—Coup de main, and Manoeuvre, might be excusable in Marshal Saxe, as he was in the service of France, and perfectly acquainted with both; but we cannot see what apology can be made for our officers lugging them in by head and shoulders, without the least necessity, as a sudden stroke might have done for one, and a proper motion, for the other.—Reconnoitre is another favourite wod in the military way; and as we cannot find out that it is much more significant than take a view, we beg leave it may be sent home again. We should not have troubled the public with this address, if we had not received a fresh insult by the papers of Saturday last, in a supposed letter from Germany, where the ingenious author tells us, speaking of the intended operations of war, that the general's intention remains perdu; which, we are informed, signifies lost. In what sense we are to understand this gentleman, we cannot say; his meaning indeed seems perdu; he may perhaps give us to understand, by printing the word in Italics, that the army and treasure sent to Germany, is all perdu: the word then wants a little epaulment, to support it, or rather a little eclaircissement; for, in the present application of it, it is dark and mysterious.
We must beg the gentlemen of the army pardon, if next to them we should take the liberty of mentioning the barbers; a set of gentlemen very useful in their station, but under no absolute necessity of hanging out false French upon their signs; it may indeed become a French friseur, to acquaint the public that he makes a tete de mouton, or simply a tete; but we are a little offended when an English tonsor, under the sign of a thing, which in some countries might be called a periwig, shall write ladies taites, or tates, or taets, or taits, or taites's made here; it looks as if they meant a reflection upon the ladies of Great-Britain, by acquainting the public, that their heads were made in barbers ships, and to be had either in Middle-row or Rag-fair. Now their intended purpose of serving the community would certainly be better answered if they would suffer their signs to speak plain English, and inform the world that sheeps heads (which we are told is the meaning of the three French words above) were sold there, as by that means they would bid fair to serve gentlemen as well as ladies, who were not already provided.
Je-ne-seai-quoy, though of French extraction, we shall not presume to find fault with, because it has been naturalized, and productive of infinite good in England; it has helped many an unfortunate girl to a husband; it has indeed sometimes parted man and wife, but has soon brought them together again; seldom fails of healing up the breaches it had made between friends; has fitted out fleets and armies, and brought them home again; has been a theme for orators in velvet and crape, and has furnished matter for many volumes.
Chicane, we dare not meddle with, as we are told the lawyers have taken it under their immediate protection; but as quirks and tricks are as foreign to their profession, as ambition and avarice to that of a more venerable order, we suppose the charge is without foundation.
Bagatelle, or trifle, we shall leave to the smarts, as it would be a pity to rob them of the chief object of their study.
Pet-en-l'air, may suit very well with French effronterie; for if the ladies of that country make no scruple of watering their ruelles before the gentlemen who attend their levees, I see no reason why they should be ashamed of a f———t; but as no such offensive wind is every supposed to blow from fair English b———ms, we could wish they had found a name of a little more delicacy for this garment.
We therefore humbly pray, that French words, as well as French dress and French manners, may be laid aside, at least during the continuance of the present war; for we are apprehensive, should their language and customs descend to us, we should be taught by their example, on the day of battle to f———te le camp.
For these reasons we play as above: and shall, as in duty bound, hold them in everylasting abhorrence.