Our gudeman cam' hame.
[This highly humorous old ditty is preserved in the second edition of David Herd's collection, 1776. Johnson recovered the tune from the singing of an old hair-dresser in Edinburgh, and published it for the first time in the 5th vol. of his Museum.]
Our gudeman cam' hame at e'en,
And hame cam' he;
And there he saw a saddle-horse,
Where nae horse should be.
Oh, how cam' this horse here?
How can this be?
How cam' this horse here,
Without the leave o' me?
A horse! quo' she;
Ay, a horse, quo' he.
Ye auld blind dotard carle,
And blinder mat ye be!
It's but a bonnie milk-cow,
My mither sent to me.
A milk-cow! quo' he;
Ay, a milk-cow, quo' she.
Far ha'e I ridden,
And muckle ha'e I seen;
But a saddle on a milk-cow
Saw I never nane.
Our gudeman cam' hame at e'en,
And hame cam' he;
He spied a pair o' jack-boots,
Where nae boots should be.
What's this now, gudewife?
What's this I see?
How cam' thae boots here,
Without the leave o' me?
Boots! quo' she;
Ay, boots, quo' he.
Ye auld blind dotard carle,
And blinder mat ye be!
It's but a pair o' water-stoups,
The cooper sent to me.
Water-stoups! quo' he;
Ay, water-stoups, quo' she.
Far ha'e I ridden,
And muckle ha'e I seen;
But siller-spurs on water-stoups
Saw I never nane.
Our gudeman cam' hame at e'en,
And hame cam' he,
And there he saw a siller-sword,
Where nae sword should be.
What's this now, gudewife?
What's this I see?
O how cam' this sword here,
Without the leave o' me?
A sword! quo' she;
Ay, a sword, quo' he.
Ye auld blind dotard carle,
And blinder ma ye be!
It's but a parridge-spurtle,
My minnie sent to me.
A parridge-spurtle! quo' he;
Ay, a parridge-spurtle, quo' she.
Weel, far ha'e I ridden,
And muckle ha'e I seen;
But siller-handed parridge-spurtles
Saw I never nane.
Our gudeman cam' hame at e'en,
And hame cam' he;
And there he spied a powder'd wig,
Where nae wig should be.
What's this now, gudewife?
What's this I see?
How cam' this wig here,
Without the leave o' me?
A wig! quo' she;
Ay, a wig, quo' he.
Ye auld blind dotard carle,
And blinder mat ye be!
'Tis naething but a clocken-hen
My minnie sent to me.
A clocken-hen! quo' he;
Ay, a clocken-hen, quo' she.
Far ha'e I ridden,
And muckle ha'e I seen,
But powder on a clocken-hen
Saw I never nane.
Our gudeman cam' hame at e'en,
And hame cam' he;
And there he saw a muckle coat,
Where nae coat should be.
How cam' this coat here?
How can this be?
How cam' this coat here,
Without the leave o' me?
A coat! quo' she;
Ay, a coat, quo' he.
Ye auld blind dotard carle,
And blinder mat ye be!
It's but a pair o' blankets
My minnie sent to me.
Blankets! quo' he,
Ay, blankets, quo' she.
Far ha'e I ridden,
And muckle ha'e I seen;
But buttons upon blankets
Saw I never nane!
Ben gaed our gudeman,
And ben gaed he;
And there he spied a sturdy man,
Where nae man should be.
How cam' this man here?
How can this be?
How cam' this man here,
Without the leave o' me?
A man! quo' she;
Ay, a man, quo' he.
Puir blind body,
And blinder mat you be!
It's but a new milkin' maid,
My mither sent to me.
A maid! quo' he;
Ay, a maid, quo' she.
Far ha'e I ridden,
And muckle ha'e I seen,
But lang-bearded maidens
Saw I never nane.