The Genuine Remains in Verse and Prose of Mr. Samuel Butler/Volume 1/The Elephant in the Moon, with additions and alterations—in long Verse

by Samuel Butler

For other versions of this work, see The Elephant in the Moon.

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THE

ELEPHANT

IN THE

MOON.

IN

LONG VERSE.^[1]

 

Virtuous, learn'd Society, of late
The Pride and Glory of a foreign State,
Made an Agreement on a Summer's Night,
To search the Moon at full, by her own Light;
5 To take a perfect Invent'ry of all
Her real Fortunes, or her Personal;
And make a geometrical Survey,
Of all her Lands, and how her Country lay,
As accurate, as that of Ireland, where
10 The sly Surveyor's said t' have sunk a Shire:
T'observe her Country's Climate, how 'twas planted,
And what she most abounded with, or wanted;
And draw Maps of her prop'rest Situations
For settling, and erecting new Plantations;
15 If ever the Society should incline
T'attempt so great, and glorious a Design:
A Task in vain, unless the German Kepler^[2]
Had found out a Discovery to people her,
And stock her Country with Inhabitants
20 Of military Men, and Elephants.
For th' Ancients only took her for a Piece
Of red-hot Iron, as big as Peloponese,^[3]
Till he appear'd; for which, some write, she sent
Upon his Tribe as strange a Punishment.^[4]
25 This was the only Purpose of their Meeting,
For which they chose a Time, and Place most fitting;
When, at the Full, her equal Shares of Light
And Influence were at their greatest Height.
And now the lofty Telescope, the Scale,
30 By which they venture Heav'n itself t' assail,
Was rais'd, and planted full against the Moon,
And all the rest stood ready to fall on,
Impatient, who should bear away the Honour
To plant an Ensign, first of all, upon her.
35 When one, who for his solid deep Belief,
Was chosen Virtuoso then in chief;
Had been approv'd the most profound, and wise
At solving all Impossibilities,
With Gravity advancing, to apply
40 To th' Optick-glass his penetrating Eye,
Cry'd out, O strange! then reinforc'd his Sight:
Against the Moon with all his Art and Might;
And bent the Muscles of his pensive Brow,
As if he meant to stare and gaze her thro',
45 While all the rest began as much t'admire,
And, like a Powder-train, from him took Fire,
Surpriz'd with dull Amazement beforehand
At what they would, but could not understand;
And grew impatient to discover, what
50 The Matter was, they so much wonder'd at.
 Quoth he, the old Inhabitants o' th'Moon,
Who, when the Sun shines hottest about Noon,
Are wont to live in Cellars under ground,
Of eight Miles deep, and more than eighty round,
55 In which at once they use to fortify
Against the Sun-beams, and the Enemy,
Are counted Borough-Towns and Cities there,
Because th' Inhabitants are civiler
Than those rude Country Peasants, that are found,
60 Like Mountaineers, to live on th' upper Ground,
Nam'd Privolans, with whom the others are
Perpetually in state of open War.
And now both Armies, mortally enrag'd,
Are in a fierce and bloody Fight engag'd;
65 And many fall on both sides kill'd and slain,
As by the Telescope 'tis clear and plain.
Look in it quickly then, that every one
May see his Share before the Battle's done.
 At this, a famous great Philospher,
70 Admir'd, and celebrated, far and near
As one of wond'rous singular Invention,
And equal universal Comprehension,
By which he had compos'd a Pedlars Jargon,^[5]
For all the World to learn, and use in Bargain,
75 An universal canting Idiom,
To understand the swinging Pendulum,
And to communicate, in all Designs,
With th' Eastern Virtuoso-Mandarines,
Apply'd an optick Nerve, and half a Nose
80 To th' End and Center of the Engine, close:
For he had, very lately, undertook
To vindicate, and publish in a Book,
That Men, whose native Eyes are blind, or out,
May by more admirable Art, be brought
85 To see with empty Holes as well and plain,
As if their Eyes had been put in again.
 This great Man, therefore, having fix'd his Sight
T' observe the bloody formidable Fight,
Consider'd carefully, and then cry'd out,
90 'Tis true, the Battle's desperately fought;
The gallant Subvolvans begin to rally,
And from their Trenches valiantly sally,
To fall upon the stubborn Enemy,
Who fearfully begin to rout and fly.
95 These paltry domineering Privolvans
Have, every Summer season their Campains;
And muster, like the military Sons
Of Raw-head, and victorious Bloody-bones,
As great and numerous as Soland-geese
100 I' th' Summer-Islands of the Orcades,^[6]
Couragiously to make a dreadful Stand,
And boldly face their Neighbour's Hand to Hand.
Until the peaceful, long'd-for Winter's come;
And then disband, and march in Triumph Home;
105 And spend the rest of all the Year in Lies,
And vap'ring of their unknown Victories.
 From th' old Arcadians they have been believ'd
To be, before the Moon herself, deriv'd;
And, when her Orb was first of all created,
110 To be from thence, to people her, translated.
For as those People had been long reputed,
Of all the Peloponesans, the most stupid,
Whom nothing in the World could ever bring
T' endure the civil Life, but Fiddling;
115 They ever since retain the antique Course,
And native Frenzy of their Ancestors;
And always use to sing, and fiddle to
Things of the most important Weight they do.
 While thus the Virtuoso entertains
120 The whole Assembly with the Privolvans,
Another Sophist, but of less Renown,
Though longer Observation of the Moon;^[7]
That understood the Diff'rence of her Soils,
And which produc'd the fairest Gennet-moyles;
125 But for an unpaid Weekly Shillings Pension,
Had sin'd for Wit, and Judgment and Invention;^[8]
Who, after poring tedious and hard
In th' Optic Engine, gave a Start, and star'd,
And thus began—A stranger Sight appears,
130 Than ever yet was seen in all the Spheres;
A greater Wonder, more unparallel'd
Than ever mortal Tube, or Eye beheld;
A mighty Elephant from one of those
Two fighting Armies is at length broke loose,
135 And with the desp'rate Horror of the Fight
Appears amaz'd, and in a dreadful Fright:
Look quickly, lest the only Sight of us
Should cause the startled Creature to imboss.
It is a large one, and appears more great
140 Than ever was produc'd in Africk yet;
From which we confidently may infer,
The Moon appears to be the fruitfuller.
And since, of old, the mighty Pyrrhus brought
Those living Castles first of all, 'tis thought,
145 Against the Roman Army in the field;
It may a valid Argument be held,
(The same Arcadia being but a Piece,
As his Dominions were, of antique Greece)
To vindicate, what this illustrious Person
150 Has made so learn'd, and noble a Discourse on;
And giv'n us ample Satisfaction all
Of th' ancient Privolvans Original.
 That Elephants are really in the Moon,
Although our Fortune had discover'd none,
155 Is easily made plain, and manifest,
Since from the greatest Orbs, down to the least,
All other Globes of Stars and Constellations
Have Cattle in 'em of all Sorts and Nations;
And Heav'n like a northern Tartar's Horde,
160 With numerous and mighty Droves is stor'd.
And, if the Moon can but produce by Nature
A People of so large, and vast a Stature,
'Tis more than probable, she should bring forth
A greater Breed of Beasts too, than the Earth;
165 As by the best Accounts we have, appears
Of all our crediblest Discoverers;
And, that those vast and monstrous Creatures there
Are not such far-set Rarities, as here.
 Meanwhile th' Assembly now had had a Sight
170 Of all distinct Particulars o' th' Fight;
And, every Man with Diligence and Care,
Perus'd, and view'd of th' Elephant his Share,
Proud of his equal Int'rest in the Glory
Of so stupendous, and renown'd a Story,
175 When one, who for his Fame and Excellence
In heightening of Words, and shadowing Sense,
And magnifying all, he ever writ,
With delicate, and Microscopick Wit,
Had long been magnify'd himself no less
180 In foreign and domestick Colleges,
Began at last (transported with the Twang
Of his own Elocution) thus t' harangue.
 Most virtuous, and incomparable Friends,
This great Discov'ry fully makes amends
185 For all our former unsuccessful Pains;
And lost Expences of our Time and Brains:
For, by this admirable Phænomenon,
We now have gotten Ground upon the Moon;
And gain'd a Pass t'engage, and hold Dispute
190 With all the other Planets, that stand out;
And carry on this brave and virtuous War
Home to the Door of th' obstinatest Star;
And plant th' Artillery of our Optick Tubes
Against the proudest of their Magnitudes;
195 To stretch our future Victories beyond
The uttermost of Planetary Ground;
And plant our warlike Engines, and our Ensigns
Upon the fix'd Stars spacious Dimensions,
To prove, if they are other Suns, or not,
200 As some Philosophers have wisely thought,
Or only Windows in the Empyreum,
Through which those bright Effluvias use to come;
Which Archimede, so many Years ago,
Durst never venture, but to wish to know.^[9]
205 Nor is this all, that we have now atchiev'd,
But greater Things!—Henceforth to be believ'd,
And have no more our best, or worst Designs,
Because th' are ours, suspected for ill Signs.
T'out-throw, and magnify, and to enlarge
210 Shall, henceforth, be no more laid to our charge;
Nor shall our best and ablest Virtuosos
Prove Arguments again for Coffee-Houses;
Nor little Stories gain Belief among^[10]
Our criticalest Judges right or wrong:
215 Nor shall our new-invented Chariots draw
The Boys to course us in 'em, without Law:
Make Chips of Elms produce the largest Trees,^[11]
Or sowing Saw-dust furnish Nurseries:
No more our heading Darts (a swinging one!)^[12]
220 With Butter only harden'd in the Sun;
Or Men that use to whistle loud enough
To be beard by others plainly five Miles off,
Cause all the rest, we own, and have avow'd
To be believ'd as desperately loud.
225 Nor shall our future Speculations, whether
An Elder-stick will render all the Leather
Of School-boys Breeches proof against the Rod,
Make all we undertake appear as odd.
This one Discovery will prove enough
230 To take all past and future Scandals off;
But since the World is so incredulous
Of all our usual Scrutinies and us,
And with a constant Prejudice prevents
Our best, as well as worst Experiments,
235 As if they were all destin'd to miscarry,
As well in Concert try'd, as solitary;
And that th' Assembly is uncertain, when
Such great Discoveries will occur agen,
'Tis reas'nable, we should, at least, contrive
240 To draw up as exact a Narrative
Of that which every Man of us can swear,
Our Eyes themselves have plainly seen appear;
That when 'tis fit to publish the Account,
We all may take our several Oaths upon't.
245 This said, the whole Assembly gave Consent
To drawing up th' authentick Instrument;
And, for the Nation's general Satisfaction,
To print, and own it in their next Transaction.
250 But while their ablest Men were drawing up
The wonderful Memoir o'th' Telescope,
A Member peeping in the Tube, by chance,
Beheld the Elephant begin t' advance,
That from the West-by-North Side of the Moon
255 To th'East-by-South was in a Moment gone.
This, being related, gave a sudden Stop
To all, their Grandees had been drawing up;
And every Person was amaz'd a-new,
How such a strange Surprizal should be true;
260 Or any Beast perform so great a Race,
So swift and rapid, in so short a Space,
Resolv'd, as suddenly, to make it good,
Or render all as fairly as they cou'd;
And rather choose their own Eyes to condemn,
265 Than question, what they had beheld with them.
While every one was thus resolv'd, a Man
Of great Esteem, and Credit, thus began;
'Tis strange, I grant! but who, alas! can say,
What cannot be, or justly can, and may,
270 Especially at so hugely wide and vast
A Distance, as this Miracle is plac't,
Where the least Error of the Glass, or Sight,
May render Things amiss, but never right?
Nor can we try them, when th'are so far off,
275 By any equal sublunary Proof:
For who can justify, that Nature there
Is ty'd to the same Laws, she acts by here?
Nor is it probable, she has infus'd
Int' every Species, in the Moon produc'd,
280 The same Efforts, she uses to confer
Upon the very same Productions here:
Since those upon the Earth, of several Nations,
Are found t'have such prodigious Variations;
And she affects so constantly to use
285 Variety in every Thing she does.
From hence may be inferr'd, that, tho' I grant,
We have beheld i'th'Moon an Elephant,
That Elephant may chance to differ so
From those with us, upon the Earth below,
290 Both in his Bulk, as well as Force and Speed,
As b'ing of a different Kind and Breed,
That, tho' 'tis true, our own are but slow-pac'd,
Their's there, perhaps, may fly, or run as fast,
And yet be very Elephants, no less
295 Than those deriv'd from Indian Families.
This said, another Member of great Worth,
Fam'd for the learned Works he had put forth,
In which the mannerly, and modest Author
Quotes the Right Worshipful, his elder Brother,
300 Look'd wise a while, then said———All this is true,
And very learnedly observ'd by you;
But there's another nobler Reason for't,
That rightly 'bserv'd, will fall, but little, short
Of solid mathematick Demonstration,
305 Upon a full, and perfect Calculation;
And that is only this—As th'Earth and Moon
Do constantly move contrary upon
Their several Axes, the Rapidity
Of both their Motions cannot fail to be
So violent, and naturally fast,
310 That larger Distances may well be past,
In less Time than the Elephant has gone,
Altho' he had no Motion of his own,
Which we on Earth can take no Measure of;
As you have made it evident by Proof.
315 This granted, we may confidently hence
Claim Title to another Inference;
And make this wonderful Phenomenon
(Were there no other) serve our Turn alone,
To vindicate the grand Hypothesis,
320 And prove the Motion of the Earth from this,
This said, th' Assembly now was satisfy'd,
As Men are soon upon the biast Side;
With great Applause receiv'd th' admir'd Dispute,
And grew more gay, and brisk, and resolute,
325 By having (right or wrong) remov'd all doubt,
Than if th'Occasion never had fall'n out;
Resolving to compleat their Narrative,
And punctually insert this strange Retrieve.
But, while their Grandees were diverted all
330 With nicely wording the Memorial,
The Footboys for their own Diversion too,
As having nothing, now, at all to do,
And when they saw the Telescope at leisure,
Turn'd Virtuosos, only for their Pleasure;
335 With Drills and Monkey's Ingenuity,
That take Delight to practice all they see,
Began to stare and gaze upon the Moon,
As those they waited on, before had done.
When one, whose Turn it was, by chance to peep.
340 Saw something in the lofty Engine creep;
And, viewing carefully, discover'd more
Than all their Masters hit upon before.
Quoth he, O strange! a little Thing is slunk
On th' Inside of the long star-gazing Trunk,
345 And now is gotten down so low and nigh,
I have him here directly 'gainst mine Eye.
This chancing to be overheard by one,
Who was not, yet, so hugely overgrown
In any philosophic Observation,
350 As to conclude with mere Imagination;
And yet he made immediately a Guess
At fulling salving all Appearances,
A plainer Way, and more significant,
Than all their Hints had prov'd o' th' Elephant;
355 And quickly found upon a second View,
His own Conjecture, probably, most true:
For he no sooner had apply'd his Eye
To th' optick Engine, but immediately
He found a small Field-Mouse was gotten in
360 The hollow Telescope, and shut between
The two Glass-Windows, closely in restraint,
Was magnify'd into an Elephant;
And prov'd the happy virtuous Occasion
Of all this deep and learned Dissertation.
365 And as a mighty Mountain heretofore,
Is said t'have been begot with Child, and bore
A silly Mouse, this captive Mouse, as strange,
Produc'd another Mountain in Exchange.
Mean while the Grandees, long in Consultation,
370 Had finish'd the miraculous Narration,
And set their Hands, and Seals, and Sense, and Wit
T'attest and vouch the Truth of all th' had writ;
When this unfortunate Phænomenon
Confounded all they had declar'd and done.
375 For 'twas no sooner told, and hinted at,
But all the rest were in a Tumult straight,
More hot and furiously inrag'd, by far,
Than both the Hosts, that in the Moon made War,
To find so rare and admirable a Hint,
380 When they had all agreed, and sworn t'have seen't,
And had engag'd themselves to make it out,
Obstructed with a wretched paultry Doubt.
When one, whose only Task was to determin,
And solve the worst Appearences of Vermin;
385 Who oft' had made profound Discoveries
In Frogs and Toads, as well as Rats and Mice
(Though not so curious and exact, 'tis true
As many an exquisite Rat-catcher knew)
After he had a while with Signs made way
390 For something pertinent, he had to say,
At last prevail'd—Quoth he this Disquisition
Is, the one half of it, in my Discission:
For tho', 'tis true, the Elephant, as Beast,
Belongs, of nat'ral Right, to all the Rest;
395 The Mouse, that's but a paultry Vermin, none
Can claim a Title to, but I alone;
And therefore humbly hope, I may be heard
In my own Province freely, with Regard.
It is no Wonder, that we are cry'd down,
400 And made the Table-talk of all the Town,
That Rants and Vapours still, for all our great
Designs and Projects, we've done nothing yet,
If every one have Liberty to doubt,
When some great Secret's more than half made out,
405 Because, perhaps, it will not hold out true,
And put a stop to all w' Attempt to do.
As no great Action ever has been done,
Nor ever's like to be by Truth alone,
If nothing else but only Truth w' allow
410 'Tis no great Matter what w'intend to do;
For Truth is always too reserv'd and chaste,
T'indure to be by all the Town embrac'd,
A solitary Anchorite that dwells,
Retir'd from all the World in obscure Cells,
415 Disdains all great Assemblys, and defies
The Press and Crowd of mix'd Societies,
That use to deal in Novelty and Change,
Not of things true, but great, and rare, and strange;
To entertain the World with what is fit
420 And proper for its Genius, and its Wit;
The World, that's never found to set Esteem
On what Things are, but what th' appear, and seem;
And, if they are not wonderful and new,
425 Th' are ne're the better for their being true.
For what is Truth, or Knowledge, but a Kind
Of Wantonness and Luxury o' th Mind,
A Greediness and Gluttony o'the Brain,
That longs to eat forbidden Fruit again,
And grows more desp'rate, like the worst Diseases,
430 Upon the nobler Part (the Mind) it seizes?
And what has Mankind ever gain'd by knowing
His little Truths, unless his own Undoing,
That prudently by Nature had been hidden,
And, only for his greater Good, forbidden?
435 And therefore with as great Discretion does
The World endeavour still to keep it close:
For if the Secrets of all Truths were known,
Who would not, once more, be as much undone?
For Truth is never without Danger in't,
440 As here it has depriv'd us of a Hint,
The whole Assembly had agreed upon,
And utterly defeated all w' had done,
By giving Foot-Boys leave to interpose
And disappoint, whatever we propose,
445 For nothing but to cut out Work for Stubs,
And all the busy Academick Clubs,
For which they have deserv'd to run the Risks
Of Elder-slicks, and penitential Frisks.
How much then ought we have a specia Care,
450 That none presume to know above his Share,
Nor take upon him t'understand, henceforth,
More than his weekly Contribution's worth:
That all those, that have purchas'd of the College
A half, or but a quarter Share of Knowlege,
455 And brought none in themselves, but spent Repute,
Should never be admitted to dispute;
Nor any Member undertake to know
More than his equal Dividend comes to?
For Partners have perpetually been known,
460 T'impose upon their publick Int'rest, prone;
And, if we have not greater Care of ours,
It will be sure to run the self-same Course,
This said, the whole Society allow'd
The Doctrine to be orthodox, and good;
465 And from th' apparent Truth of what th'had heard,
Resolv'd, henceforth, to give Truth no Regard,
But what was for their Interests to vouch,
And either find it out, or make it such:
That 'twas more admirable to create
470 Inventions like Truth out of strong Conceit,
Than with vexatious Study, Pains, and Doubt,
To find, or but suppose t'have found it out.
This b'ing resolv'd, th'Assembly, one by one,
Review'd the Tube, the Elephant, and Moon;
475 But still the more, and curiouser they pry'd,
They but became the more unsatisfy'd,
In no one Thing, they gaz'd upon, agreeing,
As if th' had different Principles of seeing.
Some boldly swore, upon a second View,
480 That all they had beheld before, was true,
And damn'd themselves, they never would recant
One syllable, th' had seen, of th' Elephant;
Avow'd his Shape and Snout could be no Mouse's,
But a true nat'ral Elephant's Proboscis.
485 Others began to doubt as much, and waver,
Uncertain which to disallow, or favour;
Until they had as many cross Resolves,
As Irishmen that have been turn'd to Wolves,^[13]
And grew distracted, whether to espouse
490 The Party of the Elephant, or Mouse.
Some held, there was no Way so orthodox,
As to refer it to the Ballot-Box;
And, like some other Nation's Patriots,
To find it out, or make the Truth, by Votes.
495 Others were of Opinion, 'twas more fit
T' unmount the Telescope, and open it,
And for their own, and all Men's Satisfaction
To search, and re-examin the Transaction;
And afterward to explicate the rest,
500 As they should see Occasion for the best.
To this, at length, as th' only Expedient,
The whole Assembly freely gave Consent:
But, 'ere the optic Tube was half let down,
Their own Eyes clear'd the first Phænomenon:
505 For, at the upper End, prodigious Swarms
Of busy Flies and Gnats, like Men in Arms,
Had all past Muster in the Glass by chance,
For both the Pri- and the Subvolvans.
This b'ing discover'd, once more put them all
510 Into a worse, and desperater Brawl,
Surpriz'd with Shame, that Men so grave and wise
Should be trepann'd by paultry Gnats and Flies;
And to mistake the feeble Insects swarms
For Squadrons, and Reserves of Men in Arms:
515 As politick as those, who, when the Moon
As bright and glorious in a River shone,
Threw Casting-nets, with equal Cunning at her
To catch her with, and pull her out o'th' Water.
 But when at last, they had unscrew'd the Glass,
520 To find out where the fly Impostor was,
And saw 'twas but a Mouse, that by mishap
Had catch'd himself, and them, in th' optick Trap,^[14]
Amaz'd, with Shame confounded, and afflicted
To find themselves so openly convicted,
525 Immediately made haste to get them gone,
With none, but this Discovery alone:
 That learned Men, who greedily pursue
Things, that are rather wonderful than true,
And, in their nicest Speculations, choose
530 To make their own Discoveries strange News,
And Nat'ral Hist'ry rather a Gazette
Of Rarities stupendous, and far-fet;
Believe no Truths are worthy to be known,
That are not strongly vast, and overgrown;
535 And strive to explicate Appearances,
Not as they're probable, but as they please,
 In vain endeavour Nature to suborn,
And, for their Pains, are justly paid with Scorn.

1. After the Author had finished this Story in short Verse, he took it in his Head to attempt it in long. That this was compos'd after the other is manifest from its being wrote Opposite to it upon a vacant Part of the same Paper; and though in most Places the Poet has done little more than fill up the Verse with an additional Foot, preserving the same Thought and Rhime, yet, as it is a singular Instance in its Way, and has besides many considerable Additions and Variations, which tend to illustrate and explain the preceding Poem, it may be looked upon not only as a Curiosity in its Kind, but as a new Production of the Author's. This I mention only to obviate the Objections of those, who may think it inserted to fill up the Volume. To the Admirers of Butler, I am sure no Apology is necessary.
2. A Task in vain, unless the German Kepler] This and the following Verses to the End of the Paragraph, are not in the foregoing Composition; and are distinguished, as well as the rest of the same Kind, by being printed in the Italic Character.
3. For th' Ancients only took her for a Piece—Of red-hot Iron as big as Peloponese.] Similar to these are those in Hudibras,
   And held the Sun was but a Piece
   Of red-hot Iron, as big as Greece.
   Hudib. P. II. C. 3. ver 739.
   
   
4. Till he appear'd, for which some write, she sent———Upon his Tribe as strange a Punishment.] No doubt by the punishment here mentioned to be sent upon these fantastical and presumptuous Speculators about the Use and Destination of the celestial Bodies, the Poet means Lunacy, or, as Milton expresses it, Moon-struck Madness.
   Whether Butler in these additional Lines intends to sneer Selenographists in general, or alludes to any particular Passage in Kepler's Deliriums upon this Subject, is more than I can ascertain, as I have not his Books to consult.
5. 73. By which he had compos'd a Pedlar's Jargon, &c.] Butler imputes the same Invention to his Sydrophel, or Sir Paul Neal, where Hudibras, threatning to have him and his Man Whachum seized by the Constable for robbing him, says,
   They're guilty by their own Confessions
   Of Felony, and at the Sessions
   Upon the Bench I will so handle 'em,
   That the Vibration of this Pendulum
   Shall make all Taylor's Yards of one
   Unanimous Opinion:
   A Thing he long has vapour'd of,
   But now shall make it out by proof.
   Hudib. P. II. C. 2. ver. 1021.
   
   
   The Note upon this Passage in Hudibras, may with great Propriety be inserted here, and is as follows:
   "The Device of the Vibration of a Pendulum, was intended to settle a certain Measure of Ells and Yards, &c. (that should have its Foundation in Nature) all the World over: For by swinging a Weight at the End of a String, and calculating (by the Motion of the Sun, or any Star) how long the Vibration would last, in Proportion to the Length of the String, and Weight of the Pendulum; they thought to reduce it back again, and from any part of Time compute the exact Length of any String that must necessarily vibrate, into so much Space of Time: So that if a Man should ask in China for a Quarter of an Hour of Sattin or Taffata, they would know perfectly what it meant; and all Mankind learn a new Way to measure Things no more by the Yard, Foot, or Inch, but by the Hour, Quarter, or Minute.
   And here let me inform the Reader, that I have discovered by the Poet's Manuscripts, that this, as well as the other Notes published in the Edition of Hudibras of 1672, is the Author's own; the Ignorance of which has led succeeding Commentators into several Mistakes. To give one Instance only—
   A Saxon Duke did grow so fat
   That Mice, (as Histories relate)
   Eat Grots and Labyrinths to dwell in
   His postique Parts, without his feeling.
   Hudib. P. II. C. 1. ver. 205. 
   
   
   Butler's own Note upon these Lines is,——— "This History of the Duke of Saxony, is not altogether so strange, as that of a Bishop his Countryman, who was quite eaten up with Rats, and Mice." Dr. Grey's Observation upon the Passage is—"He certainly alludes to the Case of Hatto, Bishop of Mentz (who was devoured by Mice) whom he mistakes for a Saxon Duke, because he is mentioned to have succeeded in that Bishoprick a Person who was advanced to the Dukedom of Saxony.———The above Story of the Saxon Duke could not, in this circumstance of the Mice, suit any of them: though amongst them there were some, that were very fat, namely Henry surnamed Crassus, who lived in the ⟨12th⟩ Century.
   Had the Doctor been aware, that the first Observation was Butler's he would certainly have spared his own; since it is plain ⟨from⟩ thence, that the Poet must allude either to a real or ⟨imaginary Duke⟩ of Saxony, whom he distinguishes from the Bishop.
6. 100. I' th' Summer-Islands of the Orcades.] It may seem odd, that Butler should term the Orcades Summer-Islands; but it is only a figurative and poetic way of saying in the Orcades in the Summer-season—at which Time they are haunted by infinite Numbers of all kinds of Water-fowl.
7. 121, 122. Another Sophist but of less Renown,—Though longer observation of the Moon.] In the shorter Verse it stands thus:
   Another of as great Renown
   And solid Judgment in the Moon.
   
   
   And though the Variation in Words is but small, it makes a considerable Difference in the Character.
8. 125, 126. But for an unpaid weekly Shillings Pension—Had sin'd for Wit, and Judgment, and Invention.] These two Verses are inserted instead of the following in the other Copy in short Measure:
   And in the Register of Fame,
   Had entered his long-living Name.
   
   
   The weekly Shillings Pension is, if I am rightly informed, the customary Contribution of each Member of the Royal Society toward the Expences attending it. The Poet had added the two following Lines in this Character, but afterwards cross'd them out.
   And first found out the building Pauls
   And paving London with Sea Coals.
   
   
   I transcribe them to gratify the Curiosity of such as are desirous to investigate, who the particular Persons are, that are design'd by these Characters.
9. 203, 204. Which Archimede, so many Years ago—Durst never venture, but to wish to know.] These two Lines are here inserted in a different and better Place, than they were in the shorter Verse, where they made a sort of Parenthesis, and the two following Lines are also omitted:
   Like Flames of Fires, as others guess,
   That shine i' th' Mouths of Furnaces.
   
   
10. 213. Nor little Stories gain Belief among] In this latter Part of the Speech, Butler makes a considerable Variation, by adding, omitting, and altering, which it would be both tedious and unnecessary minutely to point out, as the Reader may so easily compare the two Poems.
11. 217. Make Chips of Elmes produce the largest Trees,—Or sowing Saw-dust furnish Nurseries.] There wants here a Grammatical Connection, a Fault not very uncommon in Hudibras, and which cannot have escaped the Notice of critical Readers. The Poet alludes to Sprat's Account of the Relations of Things of Art and Nature communicated to the Royal Society, amongst which is that of Elms growing from Chips.—See Sprat's History, p. 197. The other Circumstance of sowing Saw-dust, &c. is added to heighten the Burlesque.
12. 219, 220, 221, 222. No more our heading Darts (a swinging one!)—With Butter only harden'd in the Sun;—Or Men that use to whistle loud enough—To be heard by others plainly five Miles off.] These two ludicrous Particulars refer to Sprat's History, or rather to a small Tract inserted in it, called—A Relation of the Pico Teneriffe, received from some considerable Merchants, and Men worthy of Credit, who went to the Top of it—in which these two wonderful Stories are related. The first is, indeed, a little strained by the Poet, to make it fit his Satire the better.—The latter is literally told by the Relator, where, speaking of the Information he received from one of the Inhabitants, he says—"He told also (and the same was seriously confirmed by a Spaniard, and another Canary Merchant then in the Company) that they whistle so loud as to be heard five Miles off. And that to be in the same Room with them when they whistle, were enough to endanger breaking the Tympanum of the Ear; and added, that he (being in Company of one that whistled his loudest) could not hear perfectly for fifteen Days after, the Noise was so great." See Sprat's Hist, &c. p. 212, and 213.
13. 487, 488. Until they had as many cross Resolves—As Irishmen, that have been turn'd to Wolves.] To what particular Story Butler alludes in these two additional Verses, I cannot discover, nor whether it be to one founded upon the Pythagorean Transmigration, taught by the Druids to the old Irish, or to the French Superstition about the Loups-garoux or Men-Wolves, adopted by the Moderns.
14. And saw 'twas but a Mouse, that by mishap—Had catch'd himself, and them, in th' optic Trap.] It is worth the Reader's Observation, how great an Addition is made to the Wit by a very small Variation in these two Lines from the shorter ones.
    Butler, to compliment his Mouse for affording him an Opportunity of indulging his satyrical Turn, and displaying his Wit upon this Occasion, has to the End of this Poem subjoined the following Epigrammatical Note.
    A Mouse, whose martial Valour has so long
    Ago been try'd, and by old Homer sung,
    And purchas'd him more everlasting Glory
    Than all his Grecian, and his Trojan Story;
    Though he appears unequal matcht, I grant,
    In Bulk and Stature by the Elephant,
    Yet frequently has been observ'd in Battle
    To have reduc'd the proud and haughty Cattle,
    When having boldly entered the Redoubt,
    And storm'd the dreadful Outwork of his Snout,
    The little Vermin, like an Errant-Knight,
    Has slain the huge gigantick Beast in Fight.
    
    
    Butler formed a Design of writing another Satire upon the Royal Society, part of which I find among his Papers fairly and correctly transcribed. Whether he ever finished it, or the Remainder of it be lost, is uncertain: The Fragment, however, that is preserved, may not improperly be added to this place, as in some sort explanatory of the preceding Poem.
    A learned Man, whom once a Week
    A hundred Virtuoso's seek,
    And like an Oracle apply to,
    T' ask Questions, and admire, and lye to,
    Who entertain'd them all of Course
    (As Men take Wives for better or worse)
    And past them all for Men of Parts,
    Though some but Sceptics in their Hearts:
    For when they're cast into a Lump,
    Their Talents equally must jump;
    As Metals mixt, the rich and base
    Do both at equal Values pass.
     With these the ord'nary Debate
    Was after News, and Things of State,
    Which Way the dreadful Comet went?
    In sixty-four, and what it meant!
    What Nations yet are to bewail
    The Operation of its Tail;
    Or whether France, or Holland yet,
    Or Germany be in its Debt?
    What Wars and Plagues in Christendom
    Have happened since, and what to come?
    What Kings are dead, how many Queens
    And Princesses are poison'd since;
    And who shall next of all by Turn
    Make Courts wear black, and Tradesmen mourn?
    What Parties next of Foot, or Horse
    Will rout, or routed be of Course?
    What German Marches, and Retreats
    Will furnish the next Month's Gazettes?
    What pestilent Contagion next,
    And what Part of the World infects?
    What dreadful Meteor, and where
    Shall in the Heavens next appear;
    And when again shall lay Embargo
    Upon the Admiral, the good Ship Argo?
    Why Currents turn in Seas of Ice
    Some thrice a Day, and some but twice;
    And why the Tides at Night and Noon
    Court, like Caligula, the Moon?
    What is the nat'ral Cause why Fish,
    That always drink, do never piss;
    Or whether in their Home the Deep
    By Night or Day they ever sleep?
    If Grass be green, or Snow be white,
    But only as they take the Light?
    Whether Possessions of the Devil,
    Or mere Temptations do most evil?
    What is't, that makes all Fountains still
    Within the Earth to run up Hill;
    But on the Outside down again,
    As if th' Attempt had been in vain?
    Or what's the strange magnetic Cause,
    The Steel or Loadstone's drawn, or draws,
    The Star, the Needle, which the Stone
    Has only been but touch'd upon?
    Whether the North-Star's Influence
    With both does hold Intelligence;
    (For red-hot Ir'n, held tow'rds the Pole,
    Turns of it self to't, when 'tis cool)
    Or whether Male and Female screws
    In th' Ir'n and Stone th' Effect produce?
    What makes the Body of the Sun,
    That such a rapid Course does run,
    To draw no Tail behind through th' Air,
    As Comets do, when they appear,
    Which other Planets cannot do,
    Because they do not burn, but glow?
    Whether the Moon be Sea, or Land,
    Or Charcoal, or a quench'd Firebrand;
    Or if the dark Holes that appear,
    Are only Pores, not Cities there?
    Whether the Atmosphere turn round,
    And keep a just Pace with the Ground;
    Or loiter lazily behind,
    And clog the Air with Gusts of Wind?
    Or whether Crescents in the Wane
    (For so an Author has it plain)
    Do burn quite out, or wear away
    Their Snuffs upon the Edge of Day?
    Whether the Sea increase, or waste,
    And, if it do, how long 'twill last;
    Or if the Sun approaches near
    The Earth, how soon it will be there?
     These were their learned Speculations
    And all their constant Occupations;
    To measure Wind, and weigh the Air,
    And turn a Circle to a Square;
    To make a Powder of the Sun,
    By which all Doctors should b' undone;
    To find the North-west Passage out,
    Although the farthest Way about;
    If Chymists from a Rose's Ashes
    Can raise the Rose itself in Glasses;
    Whether the Line of Incidence
    Rise from the Object, or the Sense?
    To stew th' Elixir in a Bath
    Of Hope, Credulity, and Faith;
    To explicate by subtle Hints
    The Grain of Diamonds and Flints,
    And in the Braying of an Ass
    Find out the Treble and the Base;
    If Mares neigh alto, and a Cow
    A double Diapason low.
    ————————
    
    
    The rest of this performance is wanting, but I am persuaded, that those, who have a Taste for Butler's Turn and Humour, will think this too curious a Fragment to be lost, though perhaps too imperfect to be formally published. How just this satirical Representation is, and to what particular Men and Treatises the Poet alludes, the Reader may best judge by consulting the Philosophical Transactions of that Age, but more particularly Sprat's Account of the Enquiries and Speculations in which the Members of the Royal Society at first employed themselves.