Do you remember how frightened Swift was of the Mohocks? How he came home early, and even (that was bitter) spent some pence on being carried in a sedan chair to avoid the "race of rakes that play the devil about this town every night, slit people's noses," and so forth? He had some reason to fear.
"Was there a Watchman took his hourly rounds
Safe from their blows or new invented wounds"
in these last days of Queen Anne? Their way was to gather and take plenty of liquor, "then make a general sally and attack all that are so unfortunate as to walk the streets through which they patrol. Some are knocked down, others stabbed, others cut and carbonadoed." The women would be turned upside down or clapped into barrels and rolled over the stones.
It was a dark night with but a glimpse of the new moon when Harry left Captain McBean. From Bow Street to the "Hand of Pork" in Long Acre was only a few hundred yards, but murky enough, and Harry took Mr. Gay's advice for such night walking:
"Let constant Vigilance thy footsteps guide,
And wary Circumspection guard thy side."
Nevertheless, as he was coming by the corner into Long Acre, he was surprised by a sound at his heels. He stepped quickly aside and turned upon it, felt a blow upon his head, saw flashes of light and the street, whirling round, rose up to meet him, and he knew no more.
When he came to himself he was in a room with fire and lights. He raised himself and heard voices. Then some one was standing over him. He looked up into his father's face. "Who was that?" he said feebly.
"Don't you see yet, Harry? It will soon pass off."
"Lord, I know you. Who are the others?"
"There is none here but me," said Colonel Boyce.
Harry looked painfully round the room and saw that it had become empty.
"What was it? A pistol?" said he, and began to feel his head.
"Egad, nothing so gentlemanly. A cudgel, by the look of the bruise. A Mohock's club, I suppose. I found you lying in the kennel as I was coming home."
"Oh, you're at home are you?" Harry laughed stupidly. "And where is home?"
"These are my lodgings in Martin's Lane, Harry, and you are welcome. But what have you to do in town? Young husbands should not be night walkers."
Harry stared at him for a moment. "I thought you knew everything," he said. Then, beginning to scramble up, he became aware that his clothes were all undone—coat, shirt, even breeches. "Odso, why were you stripping me?"
"I found you so. They shave you close, the Mohocks."
"They are a queer crew, your Mohocks." Harry looked at his father. "What should I carry inside my shirt?" Then he thrust his hands into his pockets. "Well, I had not much, but all's gone."
"Damned rogues," said his father with honest indignation. "How much have you lost, Harry?"
"Five guineas or so."
"I can make that good at least. But what is it to you? You are a warm fellow now. What, you've made no hole in Madame Alison's money bags yet."
"You're offensive, do you know?" Harry said. "I have been itching to tell you so."
Colonel Boyce's face set. "What now? Are you against me, sirrah?"
"Ods fish, you're a martyr, ain't you?" Harry laughed. But we are beginning at the end, I think. If you remember, sir, you promised to take me to France and went off without me."
"D'ye quarrel with that? Why, you had a fatter fish to fry than you could catch with me. So I left you at her and you ha' dined upon her. What's the matter then?"
"You were not honest with me—"
Colonel Boyce laughed, "Ah, bah, you will be a Puritan. It must be your mother in you."
"My mother! Thank you. We'll come to her. But one tale at a time. You let me think I was to go with you till you were gone without me. You took Waverton and told me nothing of that till you had him safe away."
"Egad, boy, it was all for your good."
"Perhaps you did think so," said Harry after a moment. "In fact it's what I complain of. You want to play Providence to me. Pray, sir, go about your business."
Colonel Boyce shrugged. "You're a proper grateful son. So be it. You have your wealthy wench and want no more of me. Well, go to the devil your own way, Harry."
"By your leave, I prefer it. But there's more, sir. Now comes Mr. Waverton and declares to my wife and me that you enticed him into a vile plot: for your pretence of a mission to the Pretender was nothing but a device for murder."
"Mr. Waverton said that to Mrs. Harry Boyce? Egad, it wasn't civil of Mr. Waverton. And what did the lady say to him?"
"That's no matter. What do you say to him, sir? Did you intend murder?"
"Lud, Harry, you talk like a ranting parson. It was not your way. Who has put this buzz of morality into your head? I suppose your pretty wife would have you break with your father. He's a low, coarse fellow, faith, who might want some of her money."
"We will leave my wife out, if you please. She will not trouble you. She and I have parted."
"God's my life! What's the quarrel?"
Harry shrugged. "Does one ever know? I was not good enough for her, I believe. And perhaps she was not good enough for me."
"Damn you for a prig," says his father.
"If you like. But you'll remark that I do not complain of her."
"Bah, you make me sick, sir! Not complain of her! That luscious piece! Egad, you should be drunk with her. But you're not a man, Harry, you're a parson."
"Oh, command your emotions! She rebelled against being wed to a man whose father ran about the world compassing murder, to a man who was withal a low fellow, a bastard. So far, it is your affair."
"I see you are no hand with a woman."
"Do I take after you, sir? We came upon a woman who said she was Mrs. Oliver Boyce and could not live with him, and boasted vehemently that she was no mother of mine."
Colonel Boyce plucked at his mouth. "So dear Rachel has got her finger into the pie. Why, Harry, you have had no luck."
"She is your wife, then. Oh, I admire your taste, sir. And pray, who was my mother?"
Colonel Boyce began to say something and stopped. "It's no matter. I believe she would not wish you to know. Why, Harry, I profess I am sorry. If we had been married, better for us all."
"Oh, you will be mysterious still. I suppose you are as tender of her honour as of mine or your own. And this matter of murdering the Pretender, pray, is that a mystery too?"
Colonel Boyce became restless. "Ods life, sirrah, there is no matter of murder. Who told you so? The fool Waverton. And where did he get the tale?"
"A gentleman who runs away tells his own tale."
"Now mark, Harry. The plan was but to bring Prince James to England—"
"Dead or alive," Harry laughed.
"Pshaw. I had him at Pontoise and was doing well with him. Then in comes a swashbuckling Scots Jacobite which is my private enemy, and a dozen bullies at his tail. Well, I had no mind to have him stick me or turn me over to the French as a spy of Marlborough's, so I went off. The fool Waverton let himself be taken. I make no doubt the Scot filled him to the brim with slanders of me. But is that my fault?"
"So you're done with the Pretender?"
Colonel Boyce gave his son a queer look. "Why, there's not much to be done with him in Martin's Lane, boy."
"Then what are you doing?"
"Egad, Harry, I should think you want to lay an information against me. Waiting for better times is all my business now. My bolt's shot. And pray, sirrah, what may be your business now you've cut loose from Mrs. Alison?"
Harry laughed. "Living on my means."
"Why, does she settle something on you?"
Harry looked at his father without affection. "Do you know, sir, I am not always proud of your name."
"Egad, but you must have money somehow."
"The family motto, I suppose. Well, sir, I write for the Press."
"Good God, not for the newspapers? You have not fallen to that?"
"Oh, sir, the shillings are clean by comparison."
They looked at each other for a minute or two. "You walk abroad late, Mr. Author," says Colonel Boyce. "Do you make friends in your profession?"
"I believe I have two in the town—a hack writer for Lintot and an usher at Westminster. And what then, pray?"
"You were with them to-night?"
"You are paternal on a sudden, sir. Do you think of putting me out to nurse again?"
"So." Colonel Boyce stood up as if he had finished and then forced a laugh and slapped his son's shoulder, "Come, Harry, why quarrel? There's room enough for you here. I allow I owe you something. Join in with me."
"I have no luck in mysteries, sir. I'll wish you goodnight."
"Now you bear me a grudge," his father protested.
"What, for getting me born? Sometimes, perhaps."
"Egad, Harry, I should like to do something for you."
"Then give me a sword."
"A sword? And what for i' God's name?"
"In case I meet any more of your Mohocks."
Colonel Boyce was taken aback for a moment. Then he cried out heartily: "Damme, the rogues took five guineas from you too. Here, fill your purse, child." He shot out gold on the table.
"I'll take back my five guineas," said Harry, and counted them, while his father watched with a frown.
"There are swords of mine below," said Colonel Boyce.
They went down and from a rack of arms Harry chose a plain black hanger with an agate hilt. As he did it on he saw below it some heavy staves loaded with lead—just such as the Mohocks used.
"And where do you lodge?" says Colonel Boyce.
"At the 'Hand of Pork' in Long Acre. Goodbye, sir."
Colonel Boyce nodded, and for some time after he had gone stood at the door, watching.