The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman/Volume 3/Chapter 35

CHAP. XXXV.

My father's collection was not great, but to make amends, it was curious; and consequently, he was some time in making it; he had the great good fortune however to set off well, in getting Bruscambille's prologue upon long noses, almost for nothing,—for he gave no more for Bruscambille than three half crowns; owing indeed to the strong fancy which the stall-man saw my father had for the book the moment he laid his hands upon it.—There are not three Bruscumbilles in Christendom,—said the stall-man, except what are chain'd up in the libraries of the curious. My father flung down the money as quick as lightening,—took Bruscambille into his bosom,—hyed home from Piccadilly to Coleman-street with it, as he would have hyed home with a treasure, without taking his hand once off from Bruscambille all the way.

To those who do not yet know of which gender Bruscambille is,—inasmuch as a prologue upon long noses might easily be done by either,—'twill be no objection against the simile,—to say, That when my father got home, he solaced himself with Bruscambille after the manner, in which, 'tis ten to one, your worship solaced yourself with your first mistress,—that is, from morning even unto night: which by the bye, how delightful soever it may prove to the inamorato,—is of little, or no entertainment at all, to by-standers.—Take notice, I go no farther with the simile.—my father's eye was greater than his appetite,—his zeal greater than his knowledge,—he cool'd—his affections became divided,—he got hold of Prignitz,—purchased Scroderus, Andrea Paræus, Bouchet's Evening Conferences, and above all, the great and learned Hafen Slawkenbergius; of which, as I shall have much to say by and bye,—I will say nothing now.