The New Yorker/Volume 1/Number 3

The New Yorker 0003  (1925) 
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The third issue of The New Yorker, published 1925-03-07.

The New Yorker 0003, 1925-03-07.pdf

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The New YORKER, published weekly by The F - R Pub. Corp., 25 W . 45th St., New York , N . Y .

Subscription $ 5.00.

Vol. 1, No. 3, March 7, 1925 . Application for entry as second class matter pending.

Advisory Editors: Ralph Barton, Marc Connelly, Rea Irvin, George S. Kaufman, Alice Duer Miller, Dorothy Parker, Alexander Woollcott

BEHIND THE NEWS

It seems to Them

THE first major casualty in the World's crusade to make the Broadway theatre a finer and innocent bystander, Heywood Broun.

As a direct result of the World's unwillingness to tolerate plays it recently discovered to be surfeited with shame, Mr. Broun will leave the paper at the end of the current theatrical season, of Herbert Bayard Swope, the Executive Editor. But There is a possibility that he may remain, but since this is based on the execution of a complete about-face, the wise money does not look for any such result. An editorial on "Ladies of the Evening" started it.

The editorial, headed "A Cheap Skate on Broadway," expressed the burning indignation of Walter Lippman, the late Frank Cobb's successor as editor of the World, that such things could be.

Perhaps "Ladies of the Evening" would have been a sensational box office success even if the World's editorial had not appeared. In the nature of affairs, there must be many theatregoers who do not read the World's editorials. But at any rate, capacity audiences have been the rule at the Lyceum Theatre since the denunciation was printed.

"A Good Bad Woman" opened and, with derisive and unstimulating comments from the critics, was well on its way to the storehouse. The Comedy Theatre, where it was shown, has a small seating capacity, and yet on the second night of the play's run tickets were to be found in large numbers in the cut-rate offices.

Enter, at this point, Arthur Krock, a member of the editorial council of the World. Mr. Krock previously had been assistant to Col. Henry Watterson of the Louisville Courier-Journal, and later, as an important aide, helped Mr. Will Hays in his activities among the movies. His official position now is "Assistant to the Publisher," Ralph Pulitzer.

Mr. Krock sent to William A. Brady's office for the manuscript of "A Good Bad Woman" and read it, one hopes, religiously. After the ordeal he wrote an editorial, "A Warning to Broadway," which was duly printed.

Pardonably mistaken in the matter, Percy Hammond of the Herald Tribune credited this evidence of the World's sudden high morality to the guiding hand of Mr. Swope was another innocent bystander, the new policy having been decided by Messrs. Lippman and Krock while he was suffering at home from bronchitis.

At this time the news department of the World began to regard statements by William A. Brady on the dirty nature of his show as excellent news copy, to be rewarded with front page head-lines and pictures. Variety, the recognized authority on theatrical box office matters, on February 25 published the following illuminating paragraph:

“Although he withdrew 'A Good Bad Woman' at the Comedy after playing it two weeks, W. A. Brady made money on the engagement. ...The three days following the open-ing performance there were plenty of tickets in cut rates. publicity created a big demand, how-ever, and from then on the show played capacity, with the last week's takings $11,500."

Mr. Broun, in his column, "It Seems to Me," had been observing that the World's editorial and news campaign was bound to lead to results, of which, conceivably, the World itself might not approve. In order to have fine plays, it seemed to him in his column, it was necessary to have as complete freedom as possible. Better, it seemed to him further, a few dirty plays than a policy of suppression that would take away fine plays too. (District Attorney Banton, as might have been expected, immediately arranged for the re-writing of scenes in “Ladies of the Evening and clamored for the closing of “Desire Under the Elms.")

Shortly after the appearance of the columns in which he differed with the World, Mr. Broun was summoned to Mr. Swope's office and informed that he would have to stop airing his differences with his paper's editorial policy. It was the opinion of the editorial council, he was told, that it not permissible for a World employee to dissent from the opinion of the World, after it had once been formulated by the paper's editorial council. (The editorial council includes Messrs. Pulitzer, Lippman, Krock,

Swope, John O'Hara Cosgrave, John H. Heaton and Florence White, the business manager.)

Mr. Broun had entered upon his World job under the impression that articles written in a column headed' "It Seems to Me" were to be inspired by whatever seemed to him. So, the following day, he repaired to the World offices to discuss the matter with Mr. Pulitzer. He learned that the publisher did not agree with this interpretation of his freedom of print. The opinions of Messrs. Lippman, Krock, Swope, Pulitzer and of other members of the editorial council must be accepted as orthodox. It was the chief's opinion that Mr. Broun had been permitted too much liberty. You have so many things to write about, said Mr. Pulitzer, so why must you write about censorship? And so, one thing leading to another and back again to the original point, Mr. Broun served notice that the he desired to leave the World immediately. Mr. Pulitzer was unwilling to agree to this, which left Mr. Broun with the single alternative of quitting his work when his contract expires, or in about sixteen months. Since then, through further conferences and the growing realization by Messrs. Broun and Pulitzer of the impossibility of the situation, a new arrangement has been made. It is understood at this writing that Mr. Broun is to be free to leave the paper at the end of the current season.

Park Row, and the uptown centers of the newspaper world, wait with avid interest Mr. Broun's departure, being anxious to learn whether the circulation gained by the clean plays campaign will offset whatever loss his going may involve. Siste Viator

Call "Beekman 2,000"

TO achieve the news pages of the Times and the rest of the papers, call "Beekman 2,000," which is the telephone number of the American. becoming a settled formula for ladies who love, perhaps not too well, but wisely. Mrs. Stillman discovered the method. Mrs. Budlong continued its suc-cessful application during that exciting week when she was subjecting her husband's linen to public washing.

She telephoned "Beekman 2,000" on the evening of her return to her husband's twenty-two room apartment and the American, always gallant, responded with a copyrighted story on its first page the next morning, Saturday. The copyright line did the trick. It roused professional jealousy. Just as soon as they could learn what was all about, the city editors of the more dignified journals opened their pages to the self-imprisoned lady, keeping them open for a week, until Mrs. Budlong disappeared into the void whence she emerged, via another exclusive and copyrighted story in the American And the facts were all so dreadfully simple:

Mrs. Budlong has lost, in the Rhode Island courts, her suit for separate maintenance,

Her husband, following the advice of his expensive counsel, wrote a formal letter requesting her to return to what the old vulgarians referred to as "his bed and board." The lady ignored the communication. A year passed. The lady became worried. She consulted Max Steuer, an effec-tive if not wholly original procedure.

"Go right up to your husband's home," Mr. Steuer advised. "You've a perfect right to live there. Go there and stay a short time."

By "a short time" Mr. Steuer meant overnight. The eminent counsel dropped out of the case forth-with, and Mrs. Budlong played safe by interpreting phrase as meaning a week at least. So, after telephoning "Beekman 2,000" and being turned over to "our Mr. Helm” by the city desk, she locked herself in and withstood a mild seven days siege by some of William J. Flynn's operatives, who were employed by Mr. Milton J. Budlong to assure no more first page publicity's being created than was absolutely unavoidable.

Gentlemen with Wall Street connections and mar-ital difficulties nowadays are keenly reminiscent of what was done to Mr. James Stillman by every news- paper in town after Mrs. Stillman had telephoned "Beekman 2,000" and had been referred, in that instance to "our Mr. Fowler."

It was a merry farce, that week of beleaguement. Reporters waked alarmingly the aristocratic quiet of East Seventy-fifth Street, led in their prowling by the ubiquitous Hearst men-Helm of the American and Markowitz of the Journal. The detectives relieved each other in shifts and took turns reading to Mrs. Budlong, through her locked door, such excerpts from the daily newspaper accounts as might show her in an This is unenviable light.

Mr. Budlong, frantic as he watched the story spread from the blatant American headlines to those of the dignified Times, passed his days and nights in consultation with twelve-count 'em, twelve-lawyers. It did look like a great story: woman locked in her home; refused food; denied communication with the outside world; on the point of starvation; shut off from her friends--great stuff!

Only, it wasn't exactly so. She could have had all the food she wanted. She could see anyone except reporters. She could telephone anyone she wished except reporters. She could walk out of the apartment any time--the sooner the better for Mr. Budlong. But Mrs. Budlong was interested only in seeing re- porters and staying where she was, so she resorted to the expedient of throwing notes, wrapped in Mr. Budlong's silk shirts, from her window to the battalion of reporters. The operatives diverted themselves by throwing notes out, also, which were dirty even before they landed in the gutter.

The week's duty done and her defense against a possible charge of desertion prepared, Mrs. Budlong issued forth, pausing only to repay the American by giving to "our Mr. Helm" a further exclusive story.

The first pages of the Times and of the other dignified newspapers reverted to normal, so to remain until some other misunderstood lady appeals for succor to "Beekman 2,000."-J.M.

A Passing Parade Disturbs a Writing Gentleman

THE WRITING GENTLEMAN: Mr. Broun. THE PASSING PARADE: Messrs. Pulitzer, Krock, Swope, Brady, Belasco and Others.

OF ALL THINGS

IF a play jury induced a dirty play to leave a theatre, that wouldn't be news; but if a dirty play induced a play jury to leave a theatre, that would be news. *** Burning witches at the stake was a grand sport in its day and much more sportsmanlike in some respects than the modern game of censorship. In the old days, when you accused a witch of causing boils, you not only had to produce the witch in court, but you had also to produce the boils. Nowadays, when you accuse a play of being "degrading," all you have to show the jury is the play. Even the editors of the World failed to tell us how much they had been degraded by "A Good Bad Woman." They seemed to think that all that would be taken for granted, and apparently it was. *** We suggest the study of a little pamphlet by Theodore Shroeder, entitled "Obscenity and Witchcraft." Shroeder maintains that, inasmuch as obscenity exists in the mind of the looker, and not in the thing looked at, it is futile to pass judgment on the thing. If we really want to punish obscenity, he suggests, it is a simple problem. If anybody finds any- thing obscene in a hook, a picture or a play, just put him in jail. *** Commissioner Enright's special assignment men reported that thirteen current plays were "bad," If we were policemen and couldn't find more than thirteen plays that are not only bad but downright worthless we would turn in our badges.

Perhaps the play jury will be known as the Shock Exchange.

THE NEW YORKER refuses to jeer at the news from Kansas. We think we understand. It took years of hard effort on the part of the Kansas Y. M. C. A. to enact the law prohibiting the sale of cigarettes. Then came the war, in which the Y. M. C. A. convinced all true Kansans that it was their Christian duty to furnish cigarettes for the soldiers. Kansas was never known to shirk its duty.

It has never lost its passion to prohibit things, however, but been difficult ever since to decide just what to prohibit. The Legislature has been known to stall along for weeks at a time without seriously interfering with the people's habits.

Music is front page stuff at last, for has not Signor Gigli tossed Frau Jeritza for a row of footlights? Baron von Popper offers diplomatic but significant hints concerning protection for his wife, and Signor Gigli's secretary disavows bellicose intentions. Meanwhile, hundreds of laymen are beginning to take interest in opera. Otherwise many of these converts to art might have been seen trying to buy tickets for “Tosca" at the offices of Tex Rickard. *** Tex Rickard, incidentally, is going to move the name "Madison Square Garden" to his new arena uptown. But we have a lively hope that he will not be able to move the smell—that cumulative and combined essence of elephant, fight fan, dog and delegate. *** Brigadier General William Mitchell may not be the Army's and Navy's best friend, but he is unquestionably their severest critic. *** "I should try to make my home the center of my daughter's pleasures. And I would get acquainted with the boys she knew and gently and painlessly eliminate the unit." ---Dorothy Dix, in the Evening Post. Bore them to death, probably. *** New York has recently seen fierce conflict between Mothers Stone and Goose, renewed hostilities on the Jeritza-Gigli front and the siege of Budlong. What this town needs is an arms cut parley. *** Among the many pleasant things we wish young Paulina Longworth is that by the time she reaches newspaper-reading age the affairs of W. E. D. Stokes will have been settled. *** We have our More Serious Moments. At present we are working on an invention—a measure larger than a bushel—so that some of our younger geniuses may be able to hide their lights.

*** No one can imagine our relief upon reading the report of the Department of Agriculture that oysters have been "successfully tamed." Why, only the other night on the way home.... Our Dr. Fosdick has been giving radio talks. The embattled Presbyterians fired the minister heard round the world. *** Cracksmen drilled a hole two feet square through a ten-inch brick wall in the Bronx only to learn that they had entered a hardware store. Undismayed, they dug a four-foot tunnel into a jewelry store and got $25,000 worth of goods. A triumph of perseverance over mere intelligence, of brute force over science the stuff of which American Magazine heroes are made.

Apropos of the Higher Education and Professor Baker's recent take-off in the drama at Yale, the Sun tells us :

When Marilyn Miller plays "Peter Pan" in New Haven, Prof. Baker's Drama Class at Yale will give a special tea in her honor, What price drama at Harvard now?

At the rate the newer fiction has been making illicit love (as Mister Hearst's bright young editors used to call it) the conventional thing, those old stories at the ends of which He and She start off on a wedding trip, seem almost too shocking to read. *** Mr. Brisbane, that misplaced and vastly salaried Christian martyr, drew for us the other day the touching picture of the Missouri sow which begat one hundred offspring. He then deduced this Moral Lesson: "That proud mother of one hundred little pigs in five years never smoked cigarettes or drank cocktails, and the father or fathers did not set before their sons the example of bootleg law breaking and contempt for the Constitution."

Younger Generation, take heed! Let every little flapper and every little sheik lay off the stuff, and in five years

The New Yorker

THE HOUR GLASS

Beauty and the Shuberts

clothing best described as natty and a diamond ring Julia Hoyt possesses those qualities which make for a successful goddess: Beauty of face and form, an enigmatic smile and an infinite capacity

for inhaling without coughing the incense burned before her.

Julia Hoyt

No primrose by the river's brim is she, but a carefully cultured orchid, determinedly beautiful; a stately, graceful, esoteric bloom.

Seeing her abroad at first nights, one might be forgiven imagining that in another day she would have given Mary Stuart a run for the favors of contemporaneous gallants. But Elizabeth would have been too much for her, too.

It is no secret to readers of the abbreviated press that Mrs. Hoyt forsook Society for a Career. She has passed by langorous steps from the Advertising Testimonial Shrine into the Temple of Thespis, which at the moment she adorns as "The Virgin of Bethulia," the whole production under the personal direction of Mr. Shubert.

A Middle-Aged Boy

At fourteen Willie Hoppe was the boy wonder of billiards. At thirty-eight, he still is. It all goes to show how we cling to the old, old traditions.

He inclines to rotundity now, but

Willie Hoppe

his life-long training as a boy wonder is reflected in his face, which, alsı, round, is sufficiently angelic to serve photographically, above a surplice, for an Easter card. His complexion is fair, his hair light, his smile pleasant enough. Middle height, which stirs one to reflect that King George hasn't been wearing his crown much lately—there you have the surface aspects of the perennial billiard champion who has ventured lately to the Friars' Club, of all places, for new worlds to conquer; the three-cushion world, in this instance.

Mentally? Well, he takes billiards seriously, just a boy wonder at heart.

The People's Attorney

It is fitting that the District Attorney of New York County should be a native Texan; and it is more than fitting that this Texan should deem Eugene O'Neill a damned fool.

Joab Banton

The disconcerting fact is that Joah H. Banton believes the District Attorney of New York County should act the gentleman. Remembering such former stars as Bill Jerome and Charlie Whitman, one perceives that the present incumbent has but a limited conception of the role.

It has always been a question why Murphy nominated him, the casual explanation of the Faithful being that Tammany needed for the balancing of its ticket a Biblical name without an Old Testament connotation.

At any rate, he presides over the Criminal Courts Building, courteous, kindly disposed toward all and grave as a backwoods teacher, with the shrewd horse sense of the class as to commonplace concerns, but with its native incapacity for comprehending the stirrings of any larger and freer life in the world outside.

THE STORY OF MANHATTANKIND

THE DAWNCAME

IN the course of time, Man- always believed everything the last man told her, and hattan became the center

never got anything straight until the hero, single- of American culture. The handed, licked everybody in sight. nie wspapers were now pre- The pictures invariably had a melancholy ending. serving the best traditions The audiences demanded this, and the producers of the grocery business, catered to their taste. Struggle as they might against the bootleggers had bought it, the Dawn would eventually overcome the Sierras; up the saloons and the Pro- and the poor, two-fisted, he-American would find him- hibition agents (preserving self marrying the rescued dumbbell. the most conspicuous fea- This was the spiritual food upon which the people tures of each) while the of Manhattan fed and it was thus that they were able other best minds of the city endowed the moving pic- to retain their faith in Human Nature, despite the ture industry with the best traditions of the cloak and folks across the court and in the apartment just below, suit trade. These folks were called Neighbors, and they were Great economies were effected in the moving pic- a never-ending trial to the Manhattanites. Where they cure field through maximum production and the sim- came from, no one knew. New Yorkers made ever ple device of making the pictures all alike. effort to get acquainted with them, short of speaking Up to this time, the world had had a great deal of to them directly, but they never got any results. Pa- trouble in the creation of drama, mainly because there tiently they listened at the dumbwaiter and when the were so many kinds of folks. The cloak and suit folks across the court forgot to draw the shades, the men solved this problem easily. Hereafter, they Manhattanites studied them conscientiously. said, only three kinds of people would be allowed on But they were a stubborn, alien horde, and the over- the screen-the good, the bad and the funny. tures of the Manhattanites were in vain. The awful The pictures now became a great moral influence. Neighbors always held their parties on the wrong It was never difficult after this for anyone to tell the nights, and their taste in jazz records was execrable. difference between right and wrong. All one had to They slept when the New Yorkers celebrated, and do was to go to the movies and the whole problem was they celebrated when the New Yorkers slept. simplified. -Sawduse If a man was a big, two-fisted, he-American, he could be depended upon. Such a man was never small or three-fisted, and he never turned out to be a she- By Way of Introduction R. Open Spaces, men were invariably males. worthy of Aladdin's lamp. I do not mean that the pictures were monotonous. We strolled from the street into a lobby columned One season, the hero would own a ranch in Arizona; like the Parthenon- in the next season's output, he would be foreman of a And on, passing His Highness, the Ticket Taker, Montana mine. This assured variety. But along to a foyer walled with silver and jade and spread with about sundown, in either case, he would get a hunch a rug from a Rajah's treasure house- that he was needed Still on, through in New York and a lounge hung he would get with precious tape- there, too, just in stries and paintings time to let the her- by the Masters oine know that she And further on, didn't have to sinking deep and marry the Mexi- silent into a silky can horse thief, carpet, past a purl- even though her ing fountain of dead father's law- flawless marble yers had already Thence to our arranged the match. Where we ar- The heroine rived to see the was always good. comedy man of a Goodness, in fact, dance was the only qual- smack against a ity a moving pic- solid gold proscen- ture heroine was ium, making be- allowed to have. lieve that he hadn't Uniformly, she seen it, and getting was brainless. She He Would Get There Just in Time the usual laugh. Amerisances This was because he came from the Wide MR ALS EEPS meliwaudeville theatre is a palace Terb seats- team run

wer

V. A.

Name on the greater the SO Stay late. TOW for the first time in many years it might ago and are themselves to-day as anonymous as the be interesting to debate the question as to who Neanderthal man--that sight must keep a certain amused disdain of publicity animate in the back of young reporters could argue thus and thus in the casual his thoughts. And finally his anteroom, with its confabs which sometimes arise at two in the morning daily spectacle of men offering up their immortal across the stacks of wheats in eating places off Park souls and women offering up their beautiful white Row and Times Square. A month ago and such a bodies in their white-hot yearning for the front page, debate would have been spiritless for there was only must make any managing editor a little sick of the one answer. But now Van Anda of the Times is not whole inglorious scuffle and drive him further within a newspaperman in New York. He is not in New the shell of his own fastidious privacy. York at all. He has gone West Of course one excellent reason on a long, lazy vacation and left why the initials V.A. have no no certain word as to when he magic outside the walls of the will come back. Times Annex is because the Probably he is the most illus- owner of them has himself spent trious' unknown man in America little time outside those Carr Vatell Van Anda who walls. For he is one of those was born in Georgetown, Ohio, executives who come early and 60 years ago. In 1904, he emerged No one in our day from the musty tinder-box where has had more of that passion Mr. Dana had been content to which Shaw, in his paper on edit the Sun and came across the Cæsar, describes as "the power of way to become managing editor killing a dozen secretaries under of the Times, which was still you as a life or death courier kills published downtown and which horses." Sagacity has taught him the ascendant Adolph Ochs, as how to delegate work. But it publisher, was just beginning to must have been a difficult lesson. put on its feet. For obviously he has burned with In the twenty-one years since an inner impulse to do it all him- then, the Times, for all its stub- self, to go out on every murder, born orthodoxy and for all the to meet every ship, to write every perils of its rich complacency, has story and every headline and to gradually become and still indis- read all the proof. putably remains the finest speci- Any Times reporter knows men of its craft in the world. that, who, at edition time while And whereas that achievement is the presses panted, has pounded of course the resultant of several Carr Vatell Van Anda furiously away only to have each indispensable forces, no one of paragraph torn from his type- them was greater than the nervous force known within writer not by some indifferent copy boy but by V.A., the four walls of the Times Annex as V.A.- and out- who would himself carry it to the composing room, side those four walls not known at all. reading the sentences and perhaps chuckling over them The fierce anonymity of Mr. Van Anda—it has as he trotted happily from desk to linotype. had at times almost the note of a bridling virginity- But perhaps those Times men know it best who has been preserved by a very network of disinclina- were loitering in the bleak, shining, unlittered city tions. Through the use of that instrument which he room of the Annex on that first Sunday afternoon a himself largely helped to forge, it has so long been dozen years ago when the editorial staff moved over given to him to say on whom a fleeting fame should bag and baggage from the long outgrown tower of the be bestowed and from whom it should be withheld- Times Building proper. The room was an unshipshape a kind of professional noblesse oblige—he has made it litter of desks dumped any way by the unionized mov- a rule of his life that none of that fame should be ing men who had departed on the stroke of their legal apportioned to himself. Then, too, the sight of his hour, leaving the mess to be straightened out next day. "morgue" stuffed to choking with bulged envelopes But in the meantime a newspaper was to be written, of clippings about men who strutted mightily a year edited and printed. Among the reporters and the COVARRUBIAS copyreaders who had not yet succeeded in sneaking out not close an eye but just stayed on at the office to to dinner, there was no visible intention to roll up organize the day staff for the covering of the story. sleeves and pitch in. But they had no choice when Even within the walls of that office, however, he they saw the frail but tireless V.A. undertaking, un- has never been especially well known. Reporters have aided and contentedly, the job of carrying the huge worked on the paper for years and left it under the desks into position. It was an exhausted and perspir- impression that V.A. was a glacial autecrat. ing staff that got out the Times that night. "He never speaks to me on the street," is the most Many a time have fires broken out and men slain familiar complaint. "He never seems to notice any- their sweethearts and ships gone to the bottom at the one. unseemly hour of two or three in the morning in the Yet one would expect their intuition to tell them vain delusion that, with the managing editors safe in the difference between haughtiness and abstraction. hed, they might hope for a little fleeting privacy. But One would expect their own easy glimpses of his hob- Van Anda has had a genius for not being in bed on bies to tell them that when he is wasting time by walk- such occasions. They have always found him in his ing to the office, his mind is probably busy with what- office, wide awake-sometimes the only person in that ever entertainment his passion of the moment may office who was wide awake. have invented for such intervals. Thus when the burning of the State Capitol in Al- The memory of how nobly V.A. bore up when one bany came at three in the morning to disturb the calm of the reporters kept going to sleep on his shoulder at of a bridge game in the Times office, it was V.A. who the farewell breakfast to w. Orton Tewson long goaded the yawning reporters into an adequate interest ago; and his decent good humor on the night when in the event, herding some into the "morgue” to ex- Harry Horgan was so eloquent on the subject of being hume fascinating facts about the threatened building sent around the world that he pulled a bookcase down and standing back of Endicott Rich while Rich's on V.A.'s head and then himself fell on top of him; lightning fingers tapped out an invented dispatch from and the obvious fact that it takes V.A. months to make Albany, based on two facts whispered over the tele- up his mind to fire even the most flagrant offender-- phone and a hundred guesses out these things, one might think, of his own ancient experience with would long since have dissipated fires. the legend of his Arctic nature. And V.A., standing behind him Yet it has taken root all the more as Rich graphically described the firmly even within the Times of - filling of the rotunda with smoke fice because he is the kind of and the mushrooming of the executive who leaves his men fames at the third story, may have alone unless he does not like their ventured to ask guilelessly: "How work. did you know that?” But he Thus correspondents have would not waste time on discipline worked for years in distant cities or his own precious dignity when without ever a word from him Rich, without his incredibly swift and one department head on his fingers halting for an instant, own floor, chafing because V.A. threw over his shoulder some such had never betrayed the slightest reply as "Any God damned fool interest in that department, re- would know that!” sorted to the ignoble device of Then when the Titanic went keeping a fresh box of chocolates down, it was Van Anda who on his desk, feeling sure that be- picked the rumor out of the mid- fore lung V.A. would drift in night air and emptied the reluc- asking plaintively: "Got any tant city desk of its morning chocolates?” For he has a "nose" bridge game as the temple was for chocolates as well as news. emptied of the money-changers, And now, of course, because so driving the suiky staff into ac- the doctors have ordered this long tion that the Times's third edi- vacation, there is a hardy rumor tion had an illustrated account of that it is a bored and weary man the disaster commensurate with its who is letting the reins slip from gravity and its eventfulness. Yet his hands, whereas, it may be the morning Sun that day ran the doubted whether in all the Times story only as a comically implausi- Annex to-day there is quite so ble little rumor which might fur- much lively curiosity and appetite nish the sophisticated with an amused smile for break- for life as there is in the one man who has gone West fast. to take a look at California. The late William C. Reick, who owned the Sun in Why, that perennial cub postponed his trip for two those days, took a long, long walk in Central Park weeks because he wanted to see the eclipse. that morning to induce enough calm within his bosom If he has gone now, it is because he does not feel to permit his discussing the episode with his staff with- any too well. And if he has seldom gone before it is out apoplexy. But Van Anda, who had prevented his because he thinks the world affords no form of diver- own staff from doing the selfsame thing, was entitled sion half so entertaining as getting out a newspaper,

to sleep the sleep of the just. Instead, he probably did And he's just about right at that.
The New Yorker 0003, 1925-03-07.pdf

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Let the Ku Klux Do It

BLACK MAGIC IN WEST FORTY-FIFTH STREET

Mr. James Rennie and Mr. Francis Corbie in "Cape Smoke" at the Martin Beck Theatre

MAN Cape seniorked rushed from the theatre with their

ANY sheltered New Yorkers at the première of in "Cape Smoke," but it is underscood that they will begin, soon, an investigation of the foul-sounding remarks made hands over their ears when the ferocious looking individual throughout the piece in Se-suto, the Basutoland dialect of limned above appeared on the stage. They were, it is as- the Bantu language. The Lambs Club is also reported to sumed, under the impression that it was District Attorney be formulating a protest. Banton with a copy of the New York World in his hand, It is our suggestion to the Citizens' Jury that, since ready to hurl it at the first actor who said "Goddam!” heroes are apparently inevitable, they have an amendment Those who remained in their seats discovered that it was to the Federal Constitution enacted compelling all play- only a Kaffir witch doctor with a thunderbolt. wrights and producers so to arrange and time their heroes' As there is not a Goddam in the play, it looked as if entrances and exits that Mr. Rennie will be able to play the Citizens' Jury would have nothing to interfere with all of them.-R. B.

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IT seems there were two Irishmen, Jake and Lee, like glaciers. “Leave me," she has Holofernes say, They were walking down the street together one at one high point, "to the essence of silence and the day, and one of them said to the other, "Sure perfection of solitude." We have been working on and begorra," he said, “an' phwat do ye say if we'd that one alone, all week, and if it means anything be afther producin' a play be this furriner Bernstein that "please get out of this tent" would not have ex entoirely?" pressed with equal dignity and rhythm, we are Tin "Lawsy, Massa," retorted the other, with a sly ker Bell. twinkle in his eye, "dere ain't nobody heah but us The Holofernes of the play is Mr. McKay Mor- chickens," ris, and if they must do things like "The Virgin of And that, darlings, is the way it all began, and the Bethulia,” the deep voiced and towering Mr. Morris first thing you know, there we all were in the Ambas- is the very person to do them. Provided, as we were sador Theatre, as comfy as rats in a trap, witnessing saying a moment ago, they must do things like "The the first performance of that little corker, "The Vir- Virgin of Bethulia." The title role is undertaken gin of Bethulia." by Miss Julia Hoyt, widely-known endorser of van- The play is, now that you press us, Gladys Unger's ishing creams. adaptation of Henri Bernstein's "Judith," which is, A deft touch was added by the orchestra, which, in turn, the story of Judith and Holofernes—you wistfully anxious to do something appropriate, ren- know that one. It is the sort of drama on which the dered "India's Love Lyrics" between the acts. designers of costumes and settings can let themselves run wild; sometimes, as we sit watching dream pic tures in the embers, we find ourself wondering if there But then, on the other hand, there is the modern could possibly be any other reason for the production drama. So you simply can't beat the game. A re- of such opera. Certainly, the producers of "The Vir- cent example is "White Collars," displayed at the gin of Bethulia" have made regular butter-and-egg Cort Theatre. This comedy of Edith Ellis's has men of themselves in their lavishness. Nobody can had a tremendous run, out in California. Yes, and ever look them in the eye and ac- so did Hiram Johnson. It is pre- cuse them of not doing the hand- sented by a group of actors and some thing. Why, the cloth-of- actresses who succeed admirably in gold flows like water. The New Plays keeping their faces straight. And now it must be time to get talking about the play itself. Now THE WILD Duck. At the Forty- we are not just the boy to give the Eighth Street Ibsen's play once The Theatre Guild, after the Biblical drama any too honest a again providing a nourishing night curious, confused magnificence of in the theatre. count; there are those we know, "Processional," ran as hard as it who cat it up, but somehow, when NICHT HAWK. At the Bijou. The could in the other direction, and we open the program, and observe 1131h prostitute to be staged in New produced "Ariadne," one of those that the characters in the play are York since Coolidge was elected. Milne comedies. We throb with named A ddah and Saaph and ARIADNE. At the Garrick. The whites love of Mr. Milne as a humorous Irskim and Vagoo, and such, we of two Milne eggs beaten up with essayist; our great heart breaks cease tossing fitfully in our seat, Laura Hope Crews, with joy over his verse; we and gently, slowly, peacefully, set WHITE COLLARS. At the Core. thought "The Truth About out for a three act trip to By-low play that ran a year in Los Angeles, Blayds” was indeed swell. But Land, Those dramas which seem but which is much better than you'd when he gets playing around with to have been placed there by the think. his nice, whimsical ladies and his Gideons are as so many sheep TWO BY Two. At the Selwyn. A de- bouncing British ingenues, we jumping over a fence to us. fenceless and forgettable drama, would just rather be somewhere Miss Unger, as is the way when THE VIRGIN OF BETHULIA, At the else, that's all. And surely that they get writing anything with the Ambassador. The scriptural drama little enough to ask of life. The scene laid back in the good old of Holofernes losing his head oper one thing that bears us up through days, has bedizened the dialogue Judith, with Julia Hoyt put in to a Milne whimsy is that Laura with festoons and fringes of rhet- make it more difficult. Hope Crews is usually present in oric, which trick is of no small aid the cast. She is in "Ariadne," and in causing the hours to whizz by what a help that is.- Last Night Opera Hats By adopting most of the foregoing suggestions, you can save enough in a few years to afford an entire TAKE the liberty of offering a brief addition to I last week's list of owners of opera hats in Greater evening at a Broadway dance club.-S. S. New York. There is some argument, I understand, as to whether the list will be used as the basis for the Ten Little Subway Guards establishment of a new aristocracy or as a sucker list for a new oil stock. At all events: 'Ten little subway guards, riding down the line. One was taken off to save a day's wages, Name Address Occupation And then there were nine. John Emerson ............ 126 E. 54th St........Labor Leader Kenneth McKenna The Playhouse ..Actor Nine little subway guards, keeping traffic straight. William Rhinelander One was displaced by a loud-speaker that nobody Stewart On Tour Benedict could understand, Walter Wanger 485 5th Ave. Magnate And then there were eight. Jonathan Cape London, Eng. Visitor -H. A. M. Eight little subway guards, more or less alive. "Three were dropped all at once when the company What A Young Man Should Know installed a new safety door, And then there were five, "HE taxicabs around Grand Central Station are mostly red-metered, which means thirty cents Five little subway guards, full of repartee. for a starter and correspondingly big charges later. Two got the gate when the directors discovered that You can buy a round trip ticket on the Tube to mechanical devices protected the public much Newark for a few cents more than the fare one way. better, The left-over stubs make good memoranda cards. And then there were three. If you come from Newark by Tube and want to get to Thirty-third Street, you have to ask for an Three little subway guards, on their daily run up-town slip when giving up your ticket to the con- Until the company announced that to insure maxi- ductor. Otherwise you will be soaked an extra four mum safety and efficiency in operation train doors would be opened and shut by a push- cents to get out at the Gimbel end. If your penny fails to produce a piece of chocolate button in the despatcher's office, And now there's not a one, or gum in the subway, there is nothing to be done -A. H. F. about it except to rattle the machine. On the other hand, the loss of a nickel in a public The Optimist telephone is not necessarily total. If you spend enough time getting the operator back, you can give her your Pop: A man who thinks he can make it in par. name and address and the company will refund. Johnny: What is an optimist, Pop? THE Metropolitan Monotypes НЕ VERDED from Russia at the age of eight, Toured the world and learned my trade. Reared among free-thinkers in a Jersey town, Now they seek me out, the managers, The only God I knew I weigh, consider, choose ; The one my Catholic playmates prayed to every night, The play must be what I consider good, So when it came to praying, Before I touch the script. And I had great need of prayer, turn away twice as many as I direct. I lifted up my Jewish voice to Him Especially am I known for comedies of the drawing Saying: "Good God, please make me an actor." room, I was clerking then in Evans's Drug Store; Plays that require an old-world touch, Every Wednesday I laid off My triumph came To see a matinee, When I played chess with kings and queens, Being docked the while Heirs-apparent, princesses and Lords; Three from my eighteen weekly dollars. The critics raved, discovered me, But I saw Barrymores, And smart New York rushed in to see the play, Drew, Gillette, Maude Adams, "Where royalty behaves as we who know them know Saw each move they made, "Real royalty behaves." Heard each inflection of their velvet tones, Alone, I am the one who knows, Then plodded to my dingy room, (And maybe too, the Philadelphia druggist), Kneeling, serene in simple sesame of prayer.... How I, born beyond the pale in a Riga ghetto. Reared in America, praying to an alien God, His Son was Jewish, Can wear so well this purple Perhaps that's why He answered me, And turn to gold the tinsel in their minds. Anyway I got a job as actor, --Murdock Pemberton

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THE TALK OF THE TOWN

i VIFTH Avenue is consistent only in being the age of 128, which was not easy in those days, espe- most feminine thoroughfare in the world. So cially as his matches all got wet. it was no great surprise to me last Tuesday to "My father soon made friends with the Indians discover that a good old-fashioned Fire Sale was go- who inhabited Hollywood and they later took him into ing on in the Dobbs store in the upper Forties. A the tribe and gave him the name of 'Ugh. But week or so ago the Avenue parade had stopped to watch when my grandmother died my grandfather sort of the place burning, and it gave up hope and drifted was now being ushered in into the real estate busi- groups of twenty-five ness. At the time of his into the bargains inside by death he was developing a cordon of police. There a section (which he called were easily five hundred the 'Bronx') by bringing thrifty shoppers waiting Gordon gin from Gor- for admission when I don, 125 miles away, by passed the place about pipe line over the moun- noon. tains to the orange groves. Had this succeeded, he Answer to week before would certainly have in- last's puzzle (presuming creased land values and that anybody besides W. besides would have been C. W. Durand bothered a lot of fun and kept the to guess it): Kenesaw children out in the open Mountain Landis. and given them lots more color. "Yes, Hollywood has "Hollywood has cer- certainly changed," con- tainly changed considera- cluded Mr. Stewart, "and bly since I was a boy," perhaps it is for the best." said Donald Ogden Stew- art, in a reminiscent mood after his return last Tues- Among those who have long been fed up with in- day to New York from a lecture tour, dictments against the First Night Audience is your "I suppose," continued Mr. Stewart, "that it would annoyed correspondent. George Jean Nathan and be a surprise to a great many people to learn that I others from time to time have lots of fun comment- was the first white child born in Hollywood, and in- ing on the raffishness of the assemblage at the premiere deed it was a surprise to me at the time and even more of a play—so many bulging stockbrokers, so many of a surprise to my parents who had come overland in extremely protected ladies, so many Broadwayish actors a covered wagon to see the Grand Canyon but had and actresses, playwrights, ticket speculators, etc. The taken the wrong road at Cincinnati and, to their chag- implication of all these critics is that First Night Audi- rin, landed in California instead of Arizona. ences are made up of gangs of murderers ready to "The trip to the Coast in those days," went on Mr. kill the play or equally detestable claques of person- Stewart, "was one of considerable difficulty. We left ally interested huzzahers. A combination cheerfully New York (125th Street) early in the Spring and determined to ruin whatever pleasure a well-bred pew with favorable winds and a message from Mayor Hy- holder might get out of the proceedings on the stage. lan to the mayor of San Francisco tied around my Well, where in the name of polite society, are the grandmother's leg, we were able to reach the Grand virtues of the audiences who attend the sixth, twenty- Central Station by May, where we got our mail and fourth or two hundredth and ninety-ninth perform- fresh meat. ance of a play which had such a lamentable first "But from then on the trip was no longer child's night attendance? To get to the point (and attach it play and indeed none of the children played anything hopefully to the seat of the chair) Mr. Nathan et al except my grandmother who played the flute, but not are talking through their gibous. Several times in the last few weeks I have gone to plays at these later "At Kansas City we had a shower and a change of performances and on any one of those evenings there horses and after that we pushed on into the heart of the was more late arriving, coughing, snarting, whisper- Indian country. We were not bothered much by In- ing, and general hysteria than I have ever seen at a first dians, however, except my grandfather, and indeed by night. the time we reached Hollywood the old gentleman Irrespective of their worthiness as individuals an had spent all his money for Indian blankets and post-opening night audience comes to the theatre prepared cards so that he had to start life all over again at the to see a play. Charges against the amoebae in after- very well. . 1 Dormed by Google the-opening audiences who don't know when to laugh Now that the sartorial season is nearly over, vernal and what's worse, when not to, will be made by me rejoicings rise in my heart over the defeat of a dinner to a Higher Court, as beginning next Monday 1 in- coat upstart which threatened for a few weeks to tend to shoot to kill at the drop of a hat. make uncomfortable a lot of men who dress decently. It was a double-breasted jacket that made its appear- ance in a dozen theatres and dinner parties during the The fact that the police are finally devoting a little last few months. Why anyone should want such a attention to New York taxicab drivers, with a view "novelty" I couldn't quite grasp. While I have not to getting rid of some of the worst of them, makes dedicated my life to keeping up the styles of the Wil- this as good a time as any to call attention to a little son-Harding period I have yet to see an improvement known fact. Taxi drivers, under the law, are re- on the conventional evening clothes of the last few quired to carry a passenger to any destination that years. God knows they don't realize the majesty of he may nama-within the city limits, that is to say. vir sapiens to any degree but how are you going to There is a marked inclination on the part of drivers, bring it out by making his clothing even more ridicu- particularly when bad weather puts cabs at a premium, lous than it is? to turn down passengers whose destinations are not just what the drivers think they ought to be. It is just as well, at these times, for the passenger to be I wonder how many of you have ever attended- or even heard of the Yorkville Theatre. It is situ- acquainted with the law, ated on Eighty-sixth Street, just east of Lexington Avenue, and through the medium of a stock company, known as the Blaney Players, presents former Broad- The return of Patricia Collinge to New York in “The Dark Angel” exhumes out of the past a story way successes and failures. The other night I attended the performance of that probably isn't true, but is just as good for all that. In the days of yore, when Miss Collinge was appear- recall little of interest about the piece, but particularly "Cheaper to Marry"-an opus by one S. Shipman. I ing with Douglas Fairbanks in such offerings as "The New Henrietta," "The Show Shop," and the vaude during the intermission. recollect the Esquimaux Pies, peddled by the ushers ville "The Regular Business Man," Fairbanks toted around with him a fully equipped electric chair, upon which it was his pleasure to induce sensitive strangers Which charmingly rural touch must have caught to sit. the attention of the Messrs. Selwyn, for only last One night in Boston, a thin lipped Brahmin brought night at the Times Square Theatre I noted the blue- his debutante daughter back stage to meet the en- jacketed usherettes selling ice-cold lemonade at twen- gaging comedian. Fairbanks asked her to be seated ty-five cents a throw. in his electric chair, and then proceeded to turn on the juice. Several hundred, or thousand, or million The business of peddling the very late (or early volts were hurled against her by her host, but the morning) editions of the newspapers around town is young woman betrayed no sign of perturbation. The rapidly becoming a nuisance of no little concern. In next day Fairbanks, somewhat worried, sought out her restaurants, in hotel lobbies, and even at the theatre, father and explained the situation. "Oh," said the proud old Bostonian, "my daughter nocturnal vendors. one is continually being pestered nowadays by these experienced the sensation, but merely ascribed it to the way a girl should feel upon being introduced to an attractive actor, and, believing that breeding counts for something, was above remarking about it.” Vau Bibbert MOSS AND FONTANA AT THE MIRADOR Digitized by

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FORGOTTEN CELEBRITIES

HERE LIES AM writing a book of business, as might well be imagined, for the residents biographies — the lives of of Blatz seldom, if ever, cared to have their doors re- men and women whose moved. Mrs. Graham helped out the scanty family names have become house- income by making grand pianos and other fancy work hold words, but whose which she used to sell to the tourists who visited the lives and achievements hotel in the summer time. have faded from memory Dudley's early education was pretty much the same of man. The idea came to as that of the other boys who attended the little red me in this way: My little schoolhouse; a smattering of Coptic and Sanskrit, grandson came to me the boiler making, differential calculus, and the rudiments other night and said, "Grandpa, who was Riley?” of paper hanging and crochering. Twenty years at "Riley?" I replied. "Do you mean James Whit- the little red schoolhouse and Dudley's education combo" "I don't know," said little Horace. "My ended suddenly with the death of his father and teacher to-day said to me, 'You're living the life of mother from drink. This was all the education he Riley,' and I wondered who he was and what was so ever had. wonderful about his life." Thrown upon his own resources Dudley Graham Horace and I pulled down from the shelves of my turned to the only occupation he really knew-explor- library numerous encyclopedias and dictionaries of ing. He fitted out an expedition to discover the biography and consulted them under the letter Ŕ, sources of the Amazon River. which, it occurred to me, was the proper letter to look (Author's Note: The account of Graham's ex- under. There were many Rileys but not the Riley. plorations, his correspondence with the Smith Brothers It did not seem right to me that a man whose name of Poughkeepsie, his discovery of radium, and his sub- was proverbial should be thus unhonored and unsung. sequent trial for the murder of King Leopold of Bel- I decided to devote my life to research to right this gium are omitted here because of lack of space. They wrong. During my ten years of study and investiga. will be included, of course, in my book.) tion, I ran across many names, equally eminent, In 1885, Dudley Graham found himself penniless equally neglected. My forthcoming book is the and broken in health in Philadelphia. A letter that result, he wrote to his sister Carrie (the Dowager Duchess of The following excerpts are an abridged version of Portsmouth) at that time reveals his desperate frame my first two chapters. The illustrations are taken of mind, and throws an interesting light upon the in- from family albums, police records and old files of vention that has immortalized his name: Harper's Weekly.

  • Dear Philip: If you could let mc

have five dollars until next Friday 1 would appreciate it. The overalls DUDLEY GRAHAM arrived in fine condition. Love to mamma and the boys. Your affection- (The man who invented the ate uncle, Dudley." Graham cracker) That was all. He waited three years for an answer but none came. GO into any big restaurant at Finally, in desperation, he called noontime and you will see upon his old boyhood chum, Na- scores of men eagerly consuming thaniel Hawthorne. Those who their mid-day meal of Graham wish to read about this now famous crackers and milk. How many of interview at first hand can find a those men ever pause to give a mo- vivid account of it in Hawthorne's ment's thought to their noble bene- Scarlet Letter, factor, the man who made their Dudley Graham "Nat," he said, "I'm broke. I've splendid health-giving repast possi- tried everything and failed. There ble? The answer is, in round numbers, none. Such is just one thing left for me to do." is the impermanency of fame, "And that" said Hawthorne. Yet in his day, Dudley Graham was not an incon- "I'm going to invent the Graham cracker!" spicuous figure. He was born October 6th, 1843, in "I thought he was mad," said Hawthorne after- the town of Blatz, Connecticut. The date is signifi- ward. "Many had thought about Graham crackers, cant, for exactly eighty-one years and eight days after- but no one believed them possible in those days." ward, the Oklahoma State Legislature passed a law Dudley's housekeeper telephoned frantically to abolishing the income tax. Hawthorne the following day: The Grahams were poor but respected residents of "Mr. Graham has locked himself in the kitchen, Blatz. Dudley's father, Leffingwell Graham, was and I can't get in,” she said in great agitation. the village door remover. That is, his job was to Hawthorne jumped into a bathrobe and ran around remove the doors from the houses of any of the the corner to the Graham mansion. With the assis- neighbors who so desired. It was not a flourishing tance of Mrs. McMurtrie, the housekeeper, and a bat- 1 Digitized by Google talion of militia, he succeeded in chopping down the The following day Eugene and Harriet were mar- kitchen door. There on the floor of the kitchen, near ried. An account of the early days of their married the stove, lay Dudley Graham, dead. A fragrant life can be found in Eugene's semi-autobiographical odor reached their nostrils. Hawthorne opened the novel "David Copperfield," which he wrote under the door of the oven and drew forth the first Graham assumed name of Charles Dickens. They took a lit- cracker that the world had ever seen. The date was tle house in Chelsea near London, and for a while November 17th, 1888.

their life was blissful and contented. Four handsome boys afterwards known as The Four Marx Brothers — were born to them. EUGENE KELLY (Author's Note: I am indebted to Miss Florence Nightingale for an account of her parents' life during (The Father of Kelly Pool) this period. She placed at my disposal family records and documents including the famous Whistler letters ON January 12th, 1835, there was great excite- to her mother that afterward became the subject of ment in the City of Barcelona, Spain. The the long and bitter litigation that resulted in the over- buildings were draped in gay colored flags and bunt- throw of the Palmerston cabinet. All this, of course, ing; bands played in the large public square, which will be fully set forth in my book.) was packed with eager, expectant people. At 11:30 The discovery of gold in California in 1848, caused A. M. (Standard Time) the Major Domo of the Eugene to sell all his worldly possessions and join one Royal Household stepped out on to the balcony and of the numerous caravans in their perilous journey announced that a prince had been born, Victor Eman- acruss the continent. A flat tire and a broken steering uel Franz Josef Eugene Don Luis knuckle caused Eugene and his Henry, Prince of the House of family to abandon their trip and Bourbon and heir to the Spanish settle down in Lotus, Illinois, a lit- throne afterward known to those tle village of barely six hundred who were familiar with his tragic thousand inhabitants. history as Eugenc Kelly. Eugene never knew whether How this scion of the oldest and Harriet was dead or alive. When most aristocratic house in Europe he last saw her she was being car- came to run a barber shop and pool ried swiftly a cross the prairie, parlor in the little village of Lotus, strapped to the saddle of the Indian Illinois, constitutes one of the chief. 'There was a radiantly con- strangest chapters in modern history, tented look upon her face as she As Gibbon has beautifully said, speeded toward the setting sun. But "Truth is stranger than fiction." Eugene was always haunted by the From the time he was eight years Eugene Kelly fear that some day she might re- old Eugene was afflicted with that He changed his name to sad nervous trouble that was heredi- Kelly and grew a beard. tary in his family; he insisted upon walking and And su he settled down in the little village of standing upon his hands upon all occasions. This was Lotus, and mode and inconspicuously plied his a source of great embarrassment and distress to his trade--he had been an expert barber years before in family, and particularly to his mother who had been Barcelona. As the years passed by he added a pool a Bruckheimer from Duluth and was quite a stickler and billiard parlor to his little barber shop, and it for etiquette and good form. was there that he devoted himself to perfecting his Then came the Thirty Years War. Eugene was life work, -the noble game with which his name is only twelve years old at the time, but he nevertheless now identified. Thrice they offered him the gover- decided to do his bit. "I might as well," he said. norship of Illinois but he always refused, "I have "I'll be forty-two years old when it's finished." He my work to do here in Lotus," he said. enlisted as a Brigadier General in the Fourth Missouri His choice was justified. The population of Lotus Cavalry. outstripped that of Kemswitch and Waynesville. It was during the famous Iowa Campaign-the There was talk of making it the County Seat. Hundred Days--that Eugene met Harriet Beecher In the course of time he came to be known as the Stowe. It was a case of love at first sight. Harriet Grand Old Man of Lotus. "Pere Kelly" the little was driving a taxicab in Des Moines at the time, and French children used to call him as he passed them in whenever Eugenc received shore leave he would ride the street. In spite of the constant urgings of his around in Harriet's taxi. It was a strange courtship- friends he firmly refused to change the name of his Harriet seated at the wheel, winding in and out the barber shop to "Kelly's Tonsorial Parlor." "I'm too crowded traffic; Eugene seated inside the cab, his old for these new fangled ways," he said "Barber head propped up against a pillow, sound asleep. Shop was good enough for Lincoln and Washington Thus the days sped by lightly and pleasantly, until and it's good enough for me." suddenly the war ended. Both sides ran out of am- He was stricken with housemaid's knee as he was munition one afternoon, so they decided to quit and boarding the train to attend the First Kelly Pool Con- go home. "I'm glad it wasn't the Hundred Years gress in America. He died an hour later in the home War," said Eugene-a remark often wrongly at- of his lifelong friend, General Von Hindenburg, in tributed to General Grant. his eighty-fifth year. -Newman Levy turn.

A Document That Has Come Into Our Possession

My ValeNTINE o o A-U-K HE ROSE IS RED, THE VIOLET'S BLUE, WE'D LIKE TO SLIT 10 YOUR THROATS FOR YOU. O O o Wishing You Merry XXmas July 4th 1874 A 1 The Valentine of the Mah Jongg Manufacturers to the Publishers of Cross Word Puzzle Books AN EDITORIAL on the German reparations debt and in addition put a mirror into the men's wash-room at 116th Street, TE have arrived at a solution of the transit prob- For the second thing, it will instantly do away with the terrible congestion now in full swing on the sub- delight the public and the transit companies' stock- way and elevated lines. Twenty cents will be too holders. The only two people likely to be displeased much for people to pay and they will have to walk. are Cecil B. DeMille, because it has no love interest, (Even many of those who can afford to pay will he and Mayor John F. Hylan, because he didn't have a so irritated by the necessity of dropping four or more hand in framing the idea, but that will be all right, -nickels in the slot that they will prefer to walk or too. You can't please everybody. skate.) Well, sir, it's a twenty-cent fare. And with everyone walking, we will soon have a For one thing, looking at it from the companies' race of real robust men and women. angle, it will increase receipts four-fold. This will A TWENTY-CENT FARE--AND DAMNED BE HE WHO enable the companies to pay a six per cent, dividend FIRST CRIES ENOUGH.--The Eskimo Digitized by Google

A Bob Ballad

The first dramatist replied, "I write what the pub- lic wants. Go and look at the line out in front of MODES my box office if you don't believe it. What do I Places are fixed by what one wears. care for art?” Taileurs can only mean Pierre's The second dramatist replied, "I am an artist. I For lunch. An afternoon dress very write to please myself. To hell with the public." Often will lead to tea from Sherry, The third dramatist replied, "I give the chuckle- headed, fat-witted public what I think it ought to Although, if rather tight it fits, have. Not what it wants, not what I want, not what Its wearer may prefer the Ritz. you want it to have but what I think it needs. In- Escorts of simple gowns will tote cidentally, you balmy owls give me a great idea for a Flasks to a side street table d'hote, farce. Go chase yourselves around the Acropolis!" While something more elaborate The name of the third dramatist was Aristophanes, May well denote a Crillon date. but the names of the other two dramatists, of the One's supper club attire depends proedros and of the jury of citizens were never spoken On whether one would avoid one's friends, again from the days on which they died and no one But nothing matters in the wilds knows who they were. Of postscript ham and eggs at Childs'. -James Kevin McGuinness Jottings About Town By BUSYBODY HE other day a Vox Populi woman was seen smoking a cigarette in a well known Greenwich Village restaurant. It is said that many women even powder O Na stuffy afternoon shortly after the close of the , their noses in the public street nowadays. zens, already bored with the monotony of peace, formed themselves into a jury to investigate the drama, Many are wondering who the next Mayor will be "I need not," to blame the subway crowd- said the aged proed- ing on. ros, addressing the assembly, "dwell upon the lewdness The light system for traf- and filth and pro- fic appears to be very con- fanity which at fusing to taxicab drivers. present pervades our Several seem to be puzzled drama. You all hear about just when to stop the gossip of the when the lights change. Agora. I stand here before you to-day to ask for volunteers. The attention I have a list of the of the city authori- most offensive plays ties should be now being produced called to the curb- at the theatres of stone at 34 1st street and Athens. Who Onderdonk Avenue. It among you will risk needs fixing. his good standing in the community by attending these re- A player named Ruth volting exhibitions will be given a trial by the and bringing back a New York American League detailed report?” baseball team next spring. "I will," sadly Ruth is said to be a good replied 399 public Why waste Terpsichore when there are always hitter. spirited Athenian cocktails to be shaken? citizens. "You will do nothing of the sort," said the proedros, Prohibition scoflaws have given New York the a little peevishly, and he thrust the scroll containing the reputation of being a hic town. list of plays, together with the complimentary tickets, into a fold of his chiton. "Instead, we will summon the chief offenders before us for a hearing." Anne Hathawig, the cabaret danseuse, retires at 5 Within an hour, three well-known comic drama- a, m, and rises at 1 p. m. She says there is nothing tists had been hailed to the Pnyx. To each was put a like a good day's sleep as a tonic for the nighe's single question: "Why do you write what you write?” duties. Recent BALAS La Ville Lumière Georges François Babbette, a realtor of ACHILLE (digging, etc.): Did you get any maga- Lyons, meets his old friend Achille Rueprin- zines? cipale, a doctor of Bordeaux, in the Etab- GEORGES (digging, etc.): Yeh, I brought back a lissement Duval opposite the Madeleine in suit-case full, but the guy at the customs in Havre Paris. made me give them up. ACHILLE (digging Georges in the ribs with his ACHILLE (digging, etc.): Of course there's no elbow): I hear you have been over to New York, you girls come out—you know. use me asking you if you took in all the revues where old rascal! GEORGES (digging Achille in the ribs with his GEORGES (digging, etc.): Yeh, I did everything. elbow): I'll say I have. (Becomes serious.) Only, somehow, you don't get the same kick out of all that stuff that you ould ACHILLE (digging Georges back one): You son- of-a-gun, you! (In a stage whisper.) Was the wife if it was all happening here at home. Those peo- along? ple over there have a different way of looking at GEORGES (digging Achille back one): Yeh, she those things. They're different from us. It's a dif- went along. But she stopped off to take a tour of the ferent point of view. They're not immoral, they're battlefields around Boston. just unmoral, if you see what I mean. Sex and smut and all are just a part of their lives and they don't ACHILLE (digging, etc.): And she let you go to New York all alone? think anything more about it than we do about onion soup. Why, I've seen women-nice looking women, GEORGES (digging, etc.): Yeh. ACHILLE (digging, etc.): Well, you old son-of- too nicely dressed—looked like ladies-all sitting a-gun! around and laughing and giggling at some of those GEORGES (digging, etc.): I guess I saw the whole shows that we'd strangle our daughters if they went to see. No wonder some of us Frenchmen don't know show, all right, all right. ACHILLE (digging, etc.): Did you bring back how to take Ainerican girls. Can't tell the nice ones from the fast ones. ... Well, that kind of stuff any of those post-cards the fellow sells in front of the El Fey Club? may be all right for New York and the decaying GEORGES (digging, etc.): Did I? morals of the New World, but it certainly wouldn't ACHILLE (digging, etc.): And I suppose you got get by in little old Paris, would it, Achille! properly liquored up while you had a chance to get -Ralph Barton some of the real, old stuff—absinthe and all. GEORGES (digging, etc.): Did I? ACHILLE (digging, etc.): And did you go down California Asserts Herself along that funny little row of bookshops in Fourth Avenue and pick up a few rare editions? Let not Vermont asseverate GEORGES (digging, etc.): Oh, sure. Only I can't That she's the Presidential State; read their lingo. I'll bet if a fellow could he'd get For California always shall his hair curled, all right. The pictures are hot stuff. Remain the only State of Cal.!

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JAZZ has become respectable and we might as well was performed "a musical interpretation by Louis begin looking ahout for a new form of musical Gruenberg of Vachel Lindsay's poem, "The Daniel Dushkin ended his violin recital with this group: euphemistically as a chamber music orchestra was di-

LA FONTAINE D'ARETHUSE Szymanowski rected by the industrious Howard Barlow, and Colin FANTASQUE ET LECER. Debussy O'More intoned the text. The result, however, SHORT STORY sounded greatly like another one of those compositions MELODY AND SCHERZO George Gershwin performed by the Leagues, Guilds, Societies, Friends (from "Rhapsody in Blue"} and other Tonvereins dedicated to the esoteric. Gershwin, greeted less than a year ago as a not un- Lindsay's verses are a set-up for any composer, but welcome intruder from the precincts known to cog- Mr. Gruenberg failed to push over this set-up. The noscenti as Tin Pan Alley, has settled easily into the only audible jazz was the jazz in the lines and in the background of Szymanowski and Debussy. He is ac- brilliant presentation of them by Mr. O'More. The cepted, His newer works are discussed as gravely as rest, unfortunately, was not silence. the lucubrations, let us say, of Schönberg. At the age of twenty-seven, George Gershwin, the genial George of the mobile cigar, is already a classic. Last year he On the same program with the Daniel Jazz there was ragtime's Stravinsky. This year he is the Broad- was the first production of a single act opera called blithely "Gagliarda of a Merry Plague,” by Lazare The fight, started almost a decade ago by Hiram K. Saminsky, conducted with vehemence hy the composer, Moderwell in "Seven Arts," and carried on by Gilbert sung with undeniable enthusiasm by Richard Hale, Seldes, Deems Taylor, Samuel Chotzinoff, and their an interesting debutante named Patricia O'Connell colleagues, is won. Ragtime entered the concert hall and a small chorus, and danced in good high school in the Gallic motley of Milhaud and Stravinsky, but festival fashion by Paul Oscaid and several assistants. finally we have it without French dressing. These The simple libretto, constructed by Mr. Saminsky, is are the salad days of jazz! a serviceable affair, dealing with the entrance of The Gershwin pieces, performed delightfully by Death, disguised as a Jester, into the feast of a prince, the gifted Dushkin and his extraordinary accompanist, his beloved and his courtiers. Gregory Ashman, not only won repetition, but ob- The setting had less utility, for its strange intervals scured the well advertised bench made Rhapsody on made vicious demands on the solo artists. Conse- Ancient Hebrew Themes by Blair Fairchild. "Short quently, Mr. Saminsky's offering was not even a howl- Story” is the public appearance ing success, for Mr. Hale and of a theme which Gershwin has Miss O'Connell demonstrated played in his inimitable manner commendable restraint in nego- for his friends a score of times. tiating its outlandish top notes. It is short, plaintive and unfor- What this opera needs most is to gettable. The familiar "Rhap- be set to music. sody in Blue" made a fascinating torso of a violin concerto, and the suggestion of a muted trum- The ever ready Mr. Münz pet and a squealing clarinet was has done it again. When Mme. a little bit of genius. Dushkin Leginska vanished, Mr. Münz deserves a few bays not only for regaled her audience with an ex- his playing of the music but for cellent recital. When an in- his skillful collaboration in jury to Mr. Pochon's hand com- adapting it to the violin. pelled the Flonzaley Quartet to cancel its engagement with the State Symphony Orchestra, Mr. A few hours after jazz had Münz again favored the audi- received its certificate of good The spectacular nature breeding in Aeolian Hall, an- of Mr. Münz's appearances in other tribute was paid the New York may savor of the fan- ble art in the Times Square tastic, but the young Polish pian- Theatre by the League of Com- ist is a good artist and an able posers. Before the audience that pinch hitter usually becomes a gathers only at the soirées of this major league regular. And Mr. assembly and of the Interna- Münz is too good to decorate a tonal Composers' Guild there Italo Montemezzi dugout.-Con Brio ence,

COVARRUBIAS

FRIDAY of this week drop in at the Waldorf week's issue anent Eugene Speicher. The printer had and see the Independent Show. As we go to us saying: "Not so bold as Bellows and yet not so press there is no catalogue at hand and we do imaginative.” What we had written was " as yet not not know what to promise. It will be interesting, you as imaginative." A poor phrase to haggle over but it can be sure, and contain something for everyone's represented us better than the transposition; we felt emotions whether it be pity, scorn, envy or admiration. that from now on Speicher would be more imagina- There will probably be a canvas there by your butcher tive, and we tried to say so. or the boy who presses your clothes of nights. And there may be a canvas by a girl or boy who will be acclaimed when Zuloaga's name is forgot. We never tire of looking at the things done by Henry Varnum Poor. The two times we found our- selves ten dollars ahead we bought pieces of his pot- Pa and Ma were having a fine time at the Willard tery. At the Montross Galleries, where his things are Metcalf show at the Milch Galleries. They had always on view, they are now holding a special ex- bought a Metcalf last year and were debating whether hibition of Poor's paintings and drawings as well as it would be another Metcalf this year or a new car. his pottery. You may not care for his paintings but So the dealer was agreeing with everything they said, you surely will like his pitchers, his bowls and his Awakening Spring she could just smell," and that plates, molded, turned and decorated by himself with was her choice. But he liked Closing Autumn: It a richness of glaze not equaled by any of the com- reminded him exactly of the place he used to hunt, mercial craft. outside Bangor. “You remember the spot, Minnie, I took you there once," It was a ticklish moment. The clerk saw $4,000 The Macy idea of art for the masses and pin money for the beginners seems to be thriving. The Gallery tottering on his doorstep and winking at an auto sales- announces a water-color exhibit beginning this week, room next door. We had to move on so we can't record the fate of that piece of art. all the work of young painters and all low priced. But we got the idea of an essay from what we overheard. How Two things we thought wrong with the first exhibit: The same subjects were retained too long and the much art, we wonder, is bought on account of recog- pictures sold were kept hanging until the last. nition? If we were running the gallery, as soon as a pic- Metcalf is your Belasco of painters. There she is ture was sold it would be wrapped up and sent home before you, Nature herself, nude or in any of her frocks from May back to April again. Masterly, and a half yards of gingham. to the purchaser along with the coffee pot and three clean cut, well managed with all the semblance of It is a great heginning and we hope it prospers. reality you can get on canvas this side of a tinted pho- We have a Babbitt soul when it comes to art; we be- tograph. Fifteen a year, they say he paints-$4,000 lieve that every family supporting a Ford should buy a picture. He deserves it all; few can do it better. at least one original painting. We would even enlist in a movement for a "Buy More Art Week.” Is there Fearing our comment would be too clear for art any board of governors for the art dealers of the criticism, the printer transposed a phrase on us in last country? There should be.-Froid Lyrics from the Pekinese "T: VII. O speak of the rolling of.logs And of logs and their rollers,- What kindly, reciprocal dogs Are these column-controllers! Purveyors of persiflage, hot, To the Intelligenti, They talk of themselves quite a lot And each other a-plenty; Outsiders, however, may freeze," Said the small Pekinese. Vill. IX. "The bose of the critical job "I like Mayor Hylan's remarks Is Omnipotent Mencken, On the themes he discusses, Who bullies the taste of the mob The concerts he gives in his parks, With his weighty gedenken, And the roar of his busses. While echo on echo requites dote on the music that rips His oracular firman. From his drum as he beats it; I don't understand what he writes I loved Mayor Hylan's eclipse As I know little German And I hope he repeats it. Or French or, for that, Portuguesc," Our Mayor endeavors to please," Said the small Pekinese, Said the small Pekinese. --Arthur Guiterman Digitized by Google

GOINGS ON

O THE NEW YORKER's conscientious calendar of events worth while

THE THEATRE with charning music and good voices, and "FIVE AND TEN" ART. CANDIDA-Eltinge Theatre. -if you're interested in such matters Macy Galleries. A group of water colors A revival of Shaw's comedy. A play as singularly competent chorut. by young Americana. Prices to attract the cautioun. nearly perfect as they come, and a nearly perfect cant, as they go. MOVING PICTURES MUSIC THE LAST LAUGH-Cameo Theatro. SILENCE-National Theatre. Max Marcia's good old-fashioned melo- The best film of month and a noteworthy MARIA IVOGUN-Camele Hall. drama of the chivalrous crook, the noble adventure in motion picture making. Saturday afternoon, March 7. con man, now playing in London as well CREED - Harlem Theatre, puth Avenue and Accompanist: Max Jaffe. About as good a 116th Street. March 3, 4. 20 in New York, with, fortunately, K. B. coloratura soprano at you're likely to hear, Von Stroheim's commendable effort to put Waraer. but you'll enjoy her anyhow. THE FIREBRAND-Morosco Theatre. the grim realium of Frank Norris's "Mc- Teague" upon EDNA THOMAS-Booth Theatre. screen. A highly costumed farce, based on some Sunday evening, March 8. of the dandy times had by Benvenuto Cel. THE MIRACLE OF THE WOLVES-Criterion Theatre. A charming singer of Dixie songs without lini and a couple of local girl friends. As A large measure of intelligence in this a mammy or a choo-choo in them. fresh, amusing, and full of beds as if the scene were laid on Long Island. More so. romance of the expiring feudal days of ANNA CASE-Carnegie Hall. Louis XI. THE GUARDSMAN-Booth Theatre Monday evening, March 9 THE THUNDERING HERD-Rivoli Theatre. A Molnar comedy. A full evening's di- Accompanist: Coenraad V. Bos. "Always version, provided by Alfred Lunt and Cows, covered wagons and Comanches- in the public eye," say her managers, and Lynne Fontane, and 2 piece about a mas. Usual atuff of the open spaces but done also gratefully in the public car. with considerable theatric effect. querading husband-in the order named. BEETHOVEN ASSOCIATION-Aeolian Hall. IS ZAT $07--Forty-alzth Street Theatre. Monday evening, March 9. ART The Lambo' Gambol of Music. A comedy of the adventures of a prize- fighter and bis manager. If you will just INDEPENDENTS. JULIA CULP-Town Halt. be big-hearted cnough to disregard the Waldorf Hotel An exhibition of all Tuesday evening, March 1o. plot, you will find this, if not the funniest sorts of art by all sorts of peoples some Lieder Accompanist: Coenraad V. Bos. show in town, at least deserving of a good, some bad-sce if you know the dif- singing as it ought to be. Tating well up among the first two. f'erence. Opens Friday, Feb. 27, THE SHOW-OFF-Playhouse. AT THE METROPOLITAN Wednesday night, Romeo et Juliette, A comedy of American life and those who live it. Nothing has touched it. Thursday afternoon, Die Walkuere. Thurt. day night, Pagliacci and Cog d'Or. Fri- THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WANTED day night, Rigoletto. Saturday afternoon, KIR* Theatre. Lohengrin. Saturday night, to be an- A comedy of fertile goings-on among the nounced. Sunday night, Lucia in concert grape-growers of California. Paulinc form. Monday night, L'Africana. Lord's performance alone is enough to make this a notable scaton. WITH THE ORCHESTRAS. WHAT PRICE GLORY?--Plymouth Theatre. Philharmonic: Wednesday evening, March The greatest, to date, of American war 4, Carnegie Hall, Mengelberg conducting; plays. A story of United States Marines Thursday evening, March 5 and Friday in action of various kinds—told without afternoon, March 6, Camcgie Hall, Men- the assistance of Our Flag, the breaking gelberg conducting and Landowska 90- heart of the world, and the little gray- loist Saturday morning and afternoon, haired mother back home. Acolian Hall, Children's Concert, Schelle ing conducting, Sunday afternoon, Car- BIG BOY-Winter Garden. negie Hall, Mengelberg conducting and A1 Jolson in it. What more do you want? Eroa Rubinstein, soloist. THE GRAB BAG Globe Theatre. New York Symphony: Thursday afternoon, A revue that includes a number in which March § and Friday evening, March 6, the ladies of the chorus unite to form a Carnegie Hall, Walter conducting : Sun- gigantic rore. Ed Wynn, in an agglomer- day afternoon, March 8, Acolian Hall, ation of somewhat dusty songs and spec. Walter conducting and Kochanuki and Sal. tacles. But, right or wrong, Ed Wynn. mond, soloists. Philadelphia Orchestra: Tuesday evening, LADY, BE GOOD-Liberty Theatre. March io, Carnegie Hall, Stokowski con. A nice little musical comedy, with the en. ducting viably active Astaires and the most de- lightful score in the city. OTHER EVENTS THE MUSIC BOX REVUE-Murte Box. The fourth of these annual rhapsodies in BARNARD COLLEGE STUDENT LOAN FUNDHotel Astor. expense. With Fangie Brice, Bobby Clarke, and practically everybody else. WILLARD L. METCALF. Benefit Coacert, Thursday evening, March 5, 8:30 P.M. Gigli, the tenor, and other PATIENCE-Greenwich Village Theatre. Milch Galleries. Fifteen reccat landscapes artists to appear. A revival of one of Gilbert and Sullivan's by the leader of that school. Nothing bet- NEW YORK NEWSPAPER WOMEN'S CLUB finest, done with understanding, imagina- ter in this country, if you like it. -Ritz-Carlton. tion, and taste. Not a voice in the com- HENRY VARNUM POOR. Annual ball, Friday evening, March 6. pany, but you'd be surprised how much that Montros Galleries. A few paintings along Governor Smith and Major General doesn't matter with an exhibition of his pottery. Charles P. Summerall among guests of ROSE-MARIE--Imperial Theatre. JOSEPH STELLA. honor. Program of entertainment A musical comedy, of the kind that wat Dudenring Galleries. Portraits in silver KIT KAT CLUB-Termice Garden, popular when Aunt Fanny was in high point and studies in design. Don't min Annual costume ball, Friday evening, school, all full of plots and things, but it if you like color. March 6. Pageant at midnight. $10,000,000 a Week for Limericks THE NEW YORKER's Greatest Contest - Let's Go, Bunch! THE NEW YORKER's Big O N your toes, boys! The dam has Limerick Contest something! Hold your horses! Has he $10,000,000 a Week for Cash Prizes said something? Who can tell, and who not? It's all in the first four lines of the Limerick printed in the coupon at the left. Greenie, at the moment, seems to be standing around with an open mouth. A fellow whose name was OʻGreen Was the dumbest bird ever you seen, Two to one he can't stay that way for- But one day on Broadway A girl heard him say ever. No, Siree, Bob! So everybody get set, for the big ride to the Magic Caves! Write your last line in the space above and be sure not to send it or this coupon to For the Five Best Last Lines The New YORKER 25 West 45th Street, submitted to complete the Limerick in the cou- Wilkes-Barre, Pa. pon-or Barrie's "Shall We Join the Ladies?" MY NAME IS (Solomon Levi). ....... or "The Mystery of Edwin Drood" or milady's toilette-THE NEW YORKER would like to be able STREET ADDRESS. (Asparagus Farms).... to pay the following handsome big cash CITY....(New Haven). STATE...(Maudlin) PRIZES: · First Prize $8,000,000 THIS WEEK'S WINNERS Second Prize 6,000,000 who share in the big prizes for completing the Limerick printed in our issue of January 32. The Limerick read: Third Prize 9,000,000 A young man who wanted to see the sights Fourth Prize, Name your own figure Hungaround the Follies stage door nights after nights, But the girls were all dodgers, · Fifth Prize A Blue Star Card He never even saw Will Rogers, Use the coupon in submitting your last line or, to be sure of winning a prize, write it on the back of Last lines which the prize winners wrote or otherwise sent a dollar bill and send it in. You can mail as many in are: solutions as the boss has stamps Remember, a FIRST PRIZE $65 Limerick is a jingle in which the last line rhymes He Reminds me of Briggs's "When a Feller Needs a with something you once heard. Friend." Written by FRED BEAMISH, Yale Club, New York ALL LAST LINES SECOND PRIZE--We Were Only Playing Leapfrog THE RULES FOR So he took his sister to the Public Library This contest is limited ex. Written by J. F., Yale Club, New York THIS WEEK'S clusively to employees of TAE NEW YORKER and THIRD PRIZE-Tell Cartier's To Send Me The Bill CONTEST MUST their families. You don't He Reminds me of Briggs's "When a Peller Needs a have to be a subscriber to Friend." REACH US NOT enter the contest. If you're Written by AMY LOWELL, Yale Club. New York not a subscriber and win a prize, we're a Chinaman. FOURTH PRIZE $9,000 LATER THAN Now go on with the story. And occasionally John Jacob Astor. Don't give up your job MIDNIGHT, until you hear (rom us. Weltten by COTTON MATHER. Yale Club, New York There is no steady em- DOOMSDAY, ployment in Limerick $10,000,000 MORE FOR LIMERICKS NEXT WEEK writing. - BUT NOT ONE CENT FOR DEFENSE FEBRUARY 29 . Digitized by

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In Our Midst

Bee Lillie, the popular actress and Lady Friends and others of George Jean Na- Peel, arrived Monday on No. 7 from Chi- than are expecting to hear the wedding bells cago, where she spent the Christmas sea- ring out any day now. George has been son and last few weeks. Welcome home, scen around the cafes a whole lot with one Bee, and accept credit for the swell piece of our most proininent film actresses lately. you had in the Times Sunday before last. Good luck, George. America is proud of you. Percy ("Perc") Hammond of the Herald Tallulah Bankhead, former southern girl, Tribune ("Tribune") is going to foreign came back from a two-year visit to Albion parts with George Ć. Tyler in about six last week. She will spend the Spring sol. weeks. Drop us a postal, Pere, and George, stice with friends in Dixie. too, or rather, Mr. Tyler, "Just Like London" Loving pomp and circumstance, ev. ery true Londoner points with pride to their stunning Guardsmen. Dave Wallace, former Middle West gold champ, got off a good one at the Racquet tan Opera House these days just to see Curiosity seekers going to the Metropoli- Club last week. "It seems," said a man Gigli throw one of his fellow singers over starting an anecdote, "there were a couple the footlights are just wasting their time, of Jews" "And now look l" said Dave. say we. He has promised to throw no поге. Prince Antoine Bibesco, Rumanian Min- ister to our country, planning a Spring Beatrice Bakrow (Mrs. George S. Kauf- visit to New York from Washington, D. man) stayed in the theatre to the end of C., where he is located in the diplomatic the second act of "The Virgin of Bethulia" business. the other day, that being the longest she has watched a play for some time. David M. Mitton, Jr., Columbia Law School boy, is going to marry John D. Richard ("Dick") Bird is contemplating Rockefeller, Jr.'s daughter, Abby, in May. a hurried trip back to England during the The romance is the outcome of Miss Abby's Spring, it is said. Hurry back, "Dick." learning to drive an auto. Where do all the pretty girls you see Dick Barthelmess went fishing yesterday. along the Avenue these fine Spring after- He took his cat era with him in case e tons come from is a question that is both- chance for a snap presents itself in the cring a lot of people. Fort Lauderdale country.

Do you know that bit of Lon- don right in New York--Cruger's? It's a fascinating spot to buy ties, hose, shirtings, etc. --exactly the same things men buy in those smart little shops of London. It will interest you to drop in or write Joe Pullitzer is on the fishing list. The town is practically deserted these days, with everybody at Palm Beach, and a lot of the swell mansions along upper Walt Damrosch was given a collation the Central Park West are boarded up. other night in honor of the fact that he has been swinging a wicked baton over the local Synıphony Society now for 40 years. Edna Ferber and friend were recently Mr. and Mrs. Harry ("Hank") Harkness viewed buggy-riding on 5th Avenue. Ol Flagler were his genial hosts. Edna! Lucien Jones, son of Henry Arthur Louis Lintermeyer, poet and jeweler, has Jones; the writing fellow, has accepted a returned to these parts from abroad and position writing items for the American. taken an apartment on West End Avenue. Scoop 'em, Loosh, is our way of express- The U.S., says Lou, is good enough for ing encouragement. him. CRUGER'S fair sex. SEZ INC. Eight East Forty Fifth Street-New York Jos of 5ch Ave. and 'round the corner from the be David Lee Shillinglaw, who runs the Kate Sproehnle, the ex-Chicago author. American Legion Ad Men's Post in "Chi," css and athlete, was an equestrian it was in "N. Y." of late and is starting "an Central Park Jast Saturday, the pleasant organization for consideration of interna- weather bringing out quite a lot of the tional problems to be made up exclusively of Americans who have at some time lived in Europe. Say it ain't true, Dave, say it ain't true! Cosmo Hamilton, novelist and Chicago playwright, was seen picking out stewer) tomatoes with a monocle from the bill of Anzia Yezierska once told Yr. Corres. fare in the diner of the Twentieth Century stie didn't like her own novel, "Salome of Limited the other day. They say Cos can the Tenements. Maybe that's why the see pretty good out of it now. movies took it, ch, Anzia?

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From the Advertising Writer's Diary H JUST ERBERT GORMAN was here to talk over the suppression of his novel by the Boston Watch and Ward So- ciety. Took the golden oppor- tunity to have him autograph my copy. Pretty good for a fellow to plop right into the Dreiser, Flaubert and Cabell class with his first novel. GOLD BY GOLD By Herbert S. Gorman. $2.50. UST before rushing off to catch a train for the week end trip, I followed the Chi- cago Daily News' advice about picking a Modern Library title and by golly it worked: “You can stand before a rack of these books, shut your eyes, and choose the right one every time." I did: I picked two good ones: THE CHILD OF PLEASURE by Gabriele d'An- nunzio, with an introduction by Ernest Boyd (it's the latest title) and two American boys instead of about Greek and Roman heroes. I was too busy getting amuse- ment when I read the book to appreciate fully what a really heroic life they had. WEBER AND FIELDS Their Tribulations, Tri- umphs and Their Associ- ates, by Felix Isman. $3.50. GREEN MANSIONS By W. H. Hudson. With an introduction by John Gals- worthy. Each, $0.95. AVE to work up the 4th PLA T'LL be a double opening I DLAYBOOKS are going good. Second editions on THE FIREBRAND and THE GUARDSMAN are in the works. Now have to rush out the jacket for an edition of O'Neill's DESIRE UNDER THE ELMS. PHAN ISLAND. Best sellers are tough on the advertising man. For relief I read over the scene between Mrs. Smith (the Queen Victoria of the South Seas) and the travelers. Started grinning; one of the salesmen, came in and razzed me about being the "hard worker" at B. & L. Of course, said I, with the sort of books B. & L. publish salesmen need only be order takers. ORPHAN ISLAND By Rose Macaulay. $2.00. THE FIREBRAND By Edwin Justus Mayer. $2.00. the day the comic opera, Man- dragola, for which he did the English book opens, the first bound copies of his autobiog- raphy, TROUBADOUR, come in. It's a big book. The reviewers who have been read- ing the galleys have been tell- ing who's in it and everybody's talking about it. TROUBADOUR An Autobiography by Alfred Kreymborg. $3.00. THE GUARDSMAN By Franz Molnar. $2.00. DESIRE UNDER THE ELMS By Eugene O'Neill. (Proba- ble price $1.75. who B come from the Clipping Bureau bring new big reviews on GOD'S STEPCHILDREN. Feels good to have a great novel given its due. Makes work easier for me too. GOD'S STEPCHILDREN By Sarah G. Millin. $2.00. change his mind should avoid is THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN IDEALISM. It puts the silencer on the notion that we are a race of money- grabbers and nothing but. Here in clear cold fact is the record of a continuous national ideal- ism that gives me thrills of pride. What a story it makes! THE HISTORY OF AMER- ICAN IDEALISM By Gustavus Myers. $3.00. GO OT a new angle on ad- vertising WEBER AND FIELDS. A historian wrote in saying that he had sent his chil- dren the book so that they could read about the struggles of these BONI & LIYERIGHT GOOD BOOKS 61 WEST 48TH STREET NEW YORK, N.Y. Digitized by

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THEATRE NOTES

GOD $350 for $50 tor 100 Packs 50 Packs Monogram (Trademarked and Copyrighted) Match Packs WITH YOUR OWN INITIALS Colors of Match Packs: Gold, Silver, Light Blue, Black, Blue, Orange, Yellow, Green, Purple, Lavender Colors of Initials: Gold, Silver, Black, White. Smart for the Vanity Case--Ideal for the Hos- tess. F the financial rewards of playwrit- and Stallings are likely to find themselves hit it just right, a good deal has already major portion of next season. been written. The most recent conspicu- ous examples are Maxwell Anderson and Laurence Stallings, authors of "What To those who venture the reproof that Price Glory?" It is an open secret that last week's backstage glimpses of Jabyna that play has earned for them about $900 Howland constituted an intrusion into weekly ($900 apiece, that is) since it what is sometimes laughably described as opened at the Plymouth six months ago. private life, it might be pointed out that But that is the merest beginning. Stall- Arthur Springer began it. ings, for example, has gone to the Coast In the last number of Hearst's Interna- to work on a film version of his novel, cional, before it was sopped up by the "Plumes." For that labor he will be paid Cosmopolitan, Mr. Springer, with a cloth- $500 a week for the six weeks of prepa- ing store dummy's instincts of privacy, ration, and then, the results be satis- described at some length his emotions on factory, a lukewarım $25,000 will be his. being placed next Miss Howland at din- Strictly speaking, this is not to be in- ner. It seems he was married to her for cluded under the rewarde of playwriting, many years, they having rushed off to but there is no doubt that the success of gether to the Little Church Around the his play quadrupled the price that is being Corner at a time when she, paid for his novel. very words, was just " crazy-hearted It will be next season, however, that child of impulse." Now, if hostesses the Messrs. Anderson and Stallings will throw them together, she still calls him reap the really big rewards. There will "Lil Artie" but he does not go on to say be three companies of "What Price whether he gets even by saluting her with Glory?" and these should bring a conser- the name that the elder Howlands be- vative $2,000 weekly to each of the play stowed on her at birth. For she was not wrights. christened Jobyna. Her name is Lulu. Their second play, "The Buccaneer," will be produced next season, and there will certainly be a third and perhaps a The harried expression recently worn fourth. The ways of the theatre are un- by William A. Brady, Jr., can be traced certain, of course, and success has a habit directly to a new Broadway custom of sa- of tapping one lightly on the shoulder luting that innocent bystander with some and then skipping on to pastures new. such phrase as: "Good bad afternoon to But, cren at a modest estimate, Anderson you, sir.”—Dr. Winkle quote his A Charming Gift-Packed in a Tin Mail order and check at once to: THE CAN-DLE-LUXE SHOP (CANDLES OF QUALITY) 619-N MADISON AVENUE NEW YORK Also carried by such smart shops ne Lord & Taylor New York Alfred Dunbill, Ltd. New York B. Altman & Co. New York The Ritz-Carlton Hotel New York Kaufman & Beer Pitteburgh Gimbel Bros. New York Hallo Chicago James B. Russell New York Sake & Co. New York Danlel Low & Co. Saleth S. S. Plerce Company Boston M. T. Bird & Company Boston L. S. Ayres & Co. Indianapolis M. M. Importing Co. New York Bogg. & Bubl Piltsburgh Sim & Co., Inc. Troy What Price Ideas? CALVIN, Ay-ah. You got a right to spend it as you see fit. But gosh!-ten THRIFT, thrift, Horatio!—Expenses dollars just for an idea!—L. H. THPT White House and eventive offices total about $367,000 a year. Not because Cal doesn't try. Soap's been cur- tailed. The towel supply has been re- For Practical Purposes duced. They're using hard lead pencils instead of soft. "How do you stand," we asked the But it's not enough. Over his official veteran congressman, "on this matter of signature 23 “Disbursing Clerk," N. B. the battleship versus the airship?" Webster makes the following offer to "How do I stand? How would any White House employees: practical man stand?" rasped the honora- “... I shall be glad to award a price of ble one, "How could you put an air- $10 from personal funds to the employee ship in a drydock and make three months' who submits the best suggestion for bringing work for a thousand constituents over- about a reduction of expense." haulin' and repairin' her? The battle- Yes, honest and true-10 whole dol- ship may be obsolete in was, my boy, but lars! But the scheme must have had she isn't in politics!" President Coolidge's sanction. Why not thus? CALVIN COOLIDGE. You think we ought to be that lavish-wouldn't five When your job seems tough and beyond do? Or seven and a half? mere man; N. B. WEBSTER. No. Men with ideas When you think you will finish never, cost money these days. Anyhow, it's my Just grit your teeth and exclaim, "I can!" own money. And the job will seem-tough as ever, KAY AND ELLINGER, INC. 342-N Madison Avenue New York The Monogram Match Co., 319 De Young Bldg., San Francisco Digitized by

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just now presents two Odd story from Hollywood: interesting contrasts in motion pic- A young college graduate, through in- ture making. One film is "The Miracle Auence at headquarters, had been shipped of the Wolves," produced in France, and out to Hollywood to learn the art of the other is "The Thundering Herd," : title writing. In due time he was re- Zane Grey opus screened in the great ceived in the sanctum of the cinema over- open places of the West. lord. Curiously, the big scenes of both films "A college graduate, yes?” asked the are identical. In the Gallic effort, the mogul. beautiful heroine, carrying a paper which "Yes," answered the collegian respecte will save the life of King Louis XI, is fully, pursued by bloodthirsty scoundrels, Just The magnate paused and then de- as they are about to overtake her, a dozen manded, "You can spell, yes!” wolves dash upon the scurvy knaves and "Of course," said the astonished new. kill them while the maiden escapes. Thus comer. the happy ending. "Well, spell me a big word," com- Zane Grey tells the story a bit differ- manded the producer. catly. The beautiful heroine is fleeing from a tribe of bloodthirsty Indians. Just is they are about to overtake her, a herd We doubt that the Western movie col- of stampeding buffalo gallop in front of the scurvy savages and the maiden es. ony nced worry over "Quo Vadis," the Italian film recently unreeled at the capes. Similar situations, but observe the dif- Apollo Theatre. This is typically Italian ference in treatment. The French calmly –full of profuse Latin extras, who ges- call the incident a miracle. The Ameri- ture and gesture. The announcements can film men ask audiences to swallow say there are 30,000 of them extras, not the event without explanation. gestures—and, after you have watched the tribulations of Sickiewicz's Christian mar- tyrs under the bloody rule of Nero, you will well believe it. "Quo Vadis" has Actually, "The Miracle of the Wolves" one iter besides boredom. That able has intelligence and a certain interest. actor, Emil Jannings, recently the hotel Basically, it is the story of Louis XI who porter of "The Last Laugh," plays the Laid the foundations of a centralized royal fiddler. Jannings gives an able French monarchy. The German film ad- performance but we still prefer him in venturers who recently did “The Last Germanic studio surroundings. Langh" would have dared to make it a genuine character study. Raymond Ber- Mard, the director of "The Miracle of the Wolves," has adulterated the whole clement of humor. Only the other day, The art of the motion picture has its

hing with conventional movie glucose. a certain film producer harried to New

The film offers nothing new in technique York. anywhere, but it has a genuine feeling of time and place. He had been low in spirits for a long time. He felt ill and was worried. Someone had suggested a pyscho-analyist and the producer mustered up courage for "The Thundering Herd," on the other a consultation. band, is obviously theatric stuff. All the An hour of intimate questioning fol- old ingredients are here, the fine clean- lowed. The disciple of Freud then gave limbed hero, the unscrupulous villain and his verdict: "Your whole trouble lies in the innocent heroine. So, too, is the in- the fact that you lack a sense of humor- evitable attack upon the wagon train of develop it." hardy pioneers. It is produced by Jesse The manager hurried downtown and Lasky, who found the covered wagon so purchased a set of Mark Twain. He successful in "The Covered Wagon" that read zealously all the way back to Holly- he tried it again North of 36." Lasky wood, alternating with the current hu- is trying to turn the prairie schooner into morous inagazines. - Elsie series. Why not "The Covered But the manager hasn't laughed. I'wo Wagon at Home," "The Covered Wagon weeks have passed and he has grown des- at School," "The Covered Wagon in perate. He has been asking his friends Basiness, and so on? The idea seems what he should do and so the story came limitless. out.-Will Hays, Jr. Telephone: BRYANT 8527 THE NEW YORKER wants to get in touch with a few young women who would be inter- ested in representing it in subscrip- tion work on either a spare time or a full time basis. Liberal renum- eration is offered.

Information will be given at Room 803, 25 West 45th Street, New York City.

THEATRE NOTES

CDA $350 for 50 Packs 95 1or 100 Packs Monogram (Trademarked and Copyrighted) Match Packs WITH YOUR OWN INITIALS Colors of Match Packs: Gold, Silver, Light Blue, Black, Blue, Orange, Yellow, Green, Purple, Lavender Colors of Initials: Gold, Silver, Black, White. Smart for the Vanity Case-Ideal for the Hos- tess. F the financial rewards of playwrit- and Stallings are likely to find themselves ing, when one is so fortunate as to sharing $7,000 to $8,000 a week for the hit it just right, a good deal has already major portion of next season, been written. The most recent conspicu- ous examples are Maxwell Anderson and Laurence Stallings, authors of "What To those who venture the reproof that Price Glory?" It is an open secret that last week's backstage glimpses of Jobyna that play has earned for them about $900 Howland constituted an intrusion into weekly ($900 apiece, that is) since it what is sometimes laughably described as opened at the Plymouth six months ago. private life, it might be pointed out that But that is the merest beginning. Stall- Arthur Springer began it. ings, for example, has gone to the Coast In the last number of Hearst's Interna- to work on a film version of his novel, tional, before it was sopped up by the "Plumes." For that labor he will be paid Cosmopolitan, Mr. Springer, with a cloth- $500 a week for the six weeks of prepa- ing score dummy's instincts of privacy, ration, and then, if the results be satis- described at some length his emotions on factory, a lukewarm $25,000 will be his. being placed next Miss Howland at din- Strictly spcaking, this is not to be in- ner. It seems he was married to her for cluded under the rewards of playwriting, many years, they having sushed off to- but there is no doubt that the success of gether to the Little Church Around the his play quadrupled the price that is being Corner at a time when she, to quote his paid for his novel. very words, was just "a crazy-hearted It will be next scason, however, that child of impulse." Now, if hostesses the Messrs. Anderson and Stallings will throw them together, she still calls him reap the really big rewards. There will “Lil Artie" but he does not go on to say be three companies of "What Price whether he gets even by saluting her with Glory?" and these should bring a conser- the name that the elder Howlands be- vative $2,000 weekly to each of the play- stowed on her at birth. For she was not wrights. christened Jobyna. Her name is Lulu. Their second play, "The Buccaneer," will be produced next season, and there will certainly be a third and perhaps a The harried expression recently worn fourth. The ways of the theatre are un- by William A. Brady, Jr., can be traced certain, of course, and success has a habit directly to a new Broadway custom of sa- of tapping one lightly on the shoulder luting that innocent bystander with some and then skipping on to pastures new. such phrase as: "Good bad afternoon to But, even at a modest estimate, Anderson you, sir."-Dr. Winkle A Charming Gift-Packed in a Tin Mail order and check at once to: THE CAN-DLE-LUXE SHOP (CANDLES OF QUALITY 619-N MADISON AVENUE NEW YORK Also currled by such smart shopee Lord & Taylor New York Alfred Dunhill, Ltd. New York B. Aftmen & Co. New York The Ritz-Carlton Hotel New York Kaufman & BACT Pitesburg Gimbel Broe. New York Hall's Chicago James B. Russell New York Sake & Co. New York Daniel Low & Co. Salem S. S. Pierce Corapany Boston M. T. Bird & Company Boston L. 8. Ayres & Co. Indianapola M. M. Importing Co. New York Boggs & Buh Pittsburgh Sim & Co., Inc. Troy What Price Ideas? CALVIN. Ay-ah. You got a right to spend it as you see fit. But gosh!-ten Tin the White House and executive THRIFT, thrift, Horatio!- Expenses dollars just for an idea!-L. H. offices total about $367,000 a year. Not because Cal doesn't try. Soap's been cure tailed. The towel supply has been re- For Practical Purposes duced. They're using hard lead pencils instead of soft. "How do you stand," we asked the But it's not enough. Over his official veteran congressman, "on this matter of signature as "Disbursing Clerk," N. B. the battleship versus the airship?" Webster makes the following offer to “How do I stand? How would any White House employees: practical man stand?" rasped the honora- "... I shall be glad to award a prize of ble one. "How could you put an air- $10 from personal funds to the employce ship in a drydock and make three months' who submits the best suggestion for bringing work for a thousand constituents over- about a reduction of cepense." haulin' and repairin' her? The battle- Yes, honest and true—10 whole dol- ship may be obsolete in war, my boy, but lars! But the scheme must have had she isn't in politics!" President Coolidge's sanction. Why not thus! CALVIN COOLIDGE. You think we ought to be that lavish—wouldn't five When your job ser do? Or geven and a half? mere ma N. B. WEBSTER. No. Men with ideas When you th cost money these days. Anyhow, it's my Just grit your own money. And the jol KAY AND ELLINGER, INC. 342-N Madison Avenue New York The Monogram Match Co., 319 De Young Bldg.. San Francisco Digitized by

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MOTION PICTURES Dine a Dance and IN THE DELLA ROBBIA ROOM OF The VANDERBILT Hotel Thiny Fourth Street FAST at Park Avenue Tues. Wed., Thurs., Fri., Sat.. Seven to Twelve o'clock $3 per person Formal Van.7100 THE HOLLIDAY BOOKSHOP 10 WEST 47th STREET Current English Books B В ROADWAY just now presents two Odd story from Hollywood: interesting contrasts in motion pic- A young college graduate, through in- ture making. One film is “The Miracle Auence at headquarters, had been shipped of the Wolves," produced in France, and out to Hollywood to learn the art of the other is "The Thundering Herd," a title writing. In due time he was re- Zane Grey opus screened in the great ceived in the sanctum of the cinema over- open places of the West. lord. Cariously, the big scenes of both films "A college graduate, yes?” asked the are identical. In the Gallic effort, the mogul. beautiful heroine, carrying a paper which “Yes," answered the collegian respect- will save the life of King Louis XI, is fully. pursued by bloodthirsty scoundrels. Just The magnate paused and then de- as they are about to overtake her, a dozen manded, "You can spell, yes?” wolves dash upon the scurvy knaves and "Of course," said the astonished new- kill them while the maiden escapes. Thus comer. the happy ending. "Well, spell me a big word," com- Zane Grey tells the story a bit differ- manded the producer. ently. The beautiful heroine is fleeing from a tribe of bloodthirsty Indians. Just as they are about to overtake her, a herd We doubt that the Western movie col- of stampeding buffalo gallop in front of the scurvy savages and the maiden es- Italian film recently unreeled at the ony need worry over "Quo Vadis," the capes. Similar situations, but observe the dif. Apollo Theatre. This is typically Italian ference in treatment. The French calmly --full of profuse Latin extras, who ges- call the incident a miracle. The Ameri- ture and gesture. The announcements can film men ask audiences to swallow say there are 30,000 of them-extras, not the event without explanation. gestures—and, after you have watched the tribulations of Siekiewicz's Christian mar- tyrs under the bloody rule of Nero, you will well believe it. "Quo Vadis" has Actually, "The Miracle of the Wolves" one item besides boredom. That able has intelligence and a certain interest. actor, Emil Jannings, recently the hotel Basically, it is the story of Louis XI who porter of "The Last Laugh," plays the laid the foundations of a centralized royal fiddler. Jannings gives an able French monarchy. The German film ad- performance but we still prefer him in renturers who recently did “The Last Germanic studio surroundings. Laugh" would have dared to make it a genuine character study. Raymond Ber- nard, the director of "The Miracle of the Wolves," has adulterated the whole element of humor. Only the other day, The art of the motion picture has its thing with conventional movie glucose. The film offers nothing new in technique a certain film producer hurried to New York. anywhere, but it has a genuine feeling of He had been low in spirits for a long time and place. time. He felt ill and was worried. Someone had suggested a pyscho-analyist and the producer mustered up courage for "The Thundering Herd," on the other a consultation. hand, is obviously theatric stuff. All the An hour of intimate questioning fol- oid ingredients are here, the fine clean- lowed. The disciple of Freud then gave limbed hero, the unscrupulous villain and his verdict: "Your whole trouble lies in the innocent heroine. So, too, is the in- the fact that you lack a sense of humor evitable attack upon the wagon train of develop it." hardy pioneers. It is produced by Jesse The manager hurried downtown Lauky, who found the covered wagon so purchased of Twain succenfal in "The Covered he tried it again in "Nort is trying to turn the an Élie series. W Wagom at Hom at School, W Baron" and se id Telephone : BRYANT 8527 THE NEW YORKER to get wom inter luck to nave lim Digitized by

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Camorning care ocupe boiler your head!” Circle 2015 Stories of the Great ALVIN COOLIDGE one Junc fast table in the White House cating his WHERE TO SHOP breakfast. The servant came through the "DELIGHTFUL!” swinging doors (from the kitchen), and gasped: -you will say, once you have stopped to look and stayed to buy in any of the clever little shops listed in these columns. It is safe to choose almost at random, too, for their “You have a shredded wheat biscuit on "Why, Mr. Coolidge!” he exclaimed. mere presence on this page denotes their activity, grace and smartness. Our President reached up and brought Antiques Electrolysis down the morsel. "Great Goodness," he smiled, "so I have! I thought it was HIGHEST CASH PRICES FOR ANTIQUE of SUPERFLUOUS HAIR permanently removed modern jewelry and silverware. Large gift selection without injury to the skin. Results GUARANTEED grape-fruit!” moderately priced. Harold G. Lewis Co. (Est. 60 absolutely permanent. Further information cheer The servant laughed heartily and voted years), 13 W. 47th St., Bryant 6526. fully furnished. IDA WEINBERGER, 373 Beb Ave., Room 403 our President a "regular fellow." W. A. GOUGH 41 EAST 60TH ST. Furniture FIRST EDITIONS OLD & RARE BOOKS WILLET A. LAZIER Onc day out Hollywood way, Will Catalogues on request East 33rd St. Hays was walking through the mazes of Near Fifth Avenue High Grade Furniture Medium Prices fine California weather, when he came Arts and Crafts Gowns upon a group standing around a motion ENCOURAGE THE AMERICAN CRAFTSMAN picture camera. He watched them for a by buying Handwoven or decorated textiles, pot- terles, metals and glass. Gowna, decorative hanginga. LESTER LIVINGSTON, Ltd., 7 B. 46th Street moment, and then, drawing nearer, gifta. Adjoining The Ritz Bestcrafte-Skylight Shop Smarlest Gowns, Wraps and Suite asked, "Are you filming a scene for a 7 East 39th St., N.Y.C. Most Modern Models. All Moderate Prices movie?" BERTHA HOLLEY 26 W. 58th St. The man who seemed to be in charge Auction Bridge and practical clothes which solve the lorem. Problem stepped up and lifted his cap respectfully. WHITEHEAD AUCTION BRIDGE STUDIO for women who seek individuality in drede, rather "It's an old cap," he said, "I only wear it Advanced and Elementary Instruction than commercialised fashion. Private or Class Lessons Phone Plass 3541 to please my old mother." 25 West Sint Street Gowns Bought "Well, well," returned Will Hays, ONLY COLLEGE OF AUCTION BRIDGE "my gloves are baggy at the knees, too." Any Desired RDS STUDIO y Experts Mme. NAPTAL, Bryant 670; will buy your ml Whereupon they all laughed heartily, fit or slightly used street and afternoon dreuce, suilo, 20 W, 54th St. Tel. Circle 10041 New York City Wraps furs, etc. Highest cash value. Prompt service and the man with the cap said that was to out-of-tow patron. 69 W. 45th St. N.Y.C. "the best ever." Beads Interior Decorating David Belasco rather absent-mindedly WE SPECIALIZE IN BEAD ORNAMENTS MADE CURTAIN CRAFT TO ORDER. ALSO CARRY FULL LINE OF FINE Ready made Draperies, custom a finalitat met Lenore Ulric one day. BEADS OF ALL DESCRIPTIONS RONZONE & Co. Designs. Furniture for Summer Homes Slipcovers 373 FIFTH AVENUE attractively made. "Why, good morning, Miss Ulric," Tel. Circle 9893. greeted the great producer. Beauty Culture Ladies Tailors "I don't have to," she answered, "and ROSE LAIRD FINEST HAND TAILORED COATS, drenca, besides, the subway is quicker." SALON FOR SKIN AND SCALP CULTURE Parterna Vour materiale. Andre Belod, 63 West and said the joke was surely on him. Mr. Belasco langhed good-naturedly 17 East 48th Street (Near Fifth Avenue) NEW YORK soth. Circle 9877 Telephone Murray Hill 5657 and 6795 Party Favors Lenore is a bright girl. PAC VETABLE cleanses and purifies the skin, solely administered by Holme Sistere Paper Hate Horns . Nolsemakers Balloons 317 Madison Avenue. Phone 4974 PLAZA Everything for a mappy party! They tell a good story on William JOHN ROSENSTEIN SUPERFLUOUS HAIR can now be permanently 19 E. 17th St., N. Y. C. Stuyvesat 0525 Randolph Hearst. He had planned to go destroyed thru the TRICHO SYSTEM. Lielone to California to see about getting a new guarantee. Booklet No. 92 free. TRICHO, 271 Portraits Madison Ave., New York, printer to work on the American. He PORTRAIT PHOTOGRAPHY. I shall not be asked the man at the ticket office for a TEMPLE DE BEAUTE, MADAME DORVALLE katified unless you are. Scientific treatment for removing wrinkles, freckles MARY DALE CLARKE ticket to San Francisco. tighteping muscles, given only at my one address, PAR 1492 665 Fifth Avenue "I'm sorry, sir," said the man, "but I 32 w. 47th St., New York. Bryant 4856. Booklet. Physicians' endorsement. Restaurante left my umbrella at home to-day and I MME. MAYS treatments for permanently removing THE RUSSIAN INN 23 W. 87th St. guess I can't fix you up." wrinkles, scars, freckles, tightening muscles, given Unusual in lls murroundings and the food it serves. "Oh, that's all right," answered Mr. only at my one addresa. W. 40th St., N.Y. After the Theatre Gypsy Chorus and Orchestra: Hearst, and reaching in his watch pocket, Bryant 9426. Booklet. Physiciana' endornment. Shoes he added, "here's a baked potato which Books ought to do just as well." SHOECRAFT SHOP "fits the narrow heel" in THE HOLLIDAY BOOKSHOP, 10 W. 47th St. sizes 1-10 AAAA to E, French and English modela Then both men laughed and let by- CURRENT ENGLISH BOOKS in street and evening footwear. Send for Catalog TEL. BRYANT 8527 N. Y. Fil Guaranteed. L sih Ave. New Yorke gones be bygones.--Herbert Crooker Silverware Hospital Candles This Week's Award Ord silverware repaired, refinished. replaced. En QUEEN OF HEARTS CANDIES graving removed. ALL WORK GUARANTEED Professionally Home-Made of finest ingredients. EQUAL TO NEW. First prize for felicity in phrasing goes 144 MacDougal Street --Greenwich Village FRED XUEHNE. Bridge Parties Spring 5727 Refreshments Est. 1850.88 John St., New York Beekman 5010 to the announcer from Station WEAF who Tea Rooms signed off at 11:26 p. m., February 23, Corset Hospital approximately as follows: THE SPINNING WHEEL “We regret to say that Ben Beroic and his Old Cornets Rejuvenated-Made Like New. We 11 West 47th Street, Bryant og 13 Hotel Roosevelt Orchestra will not broadcast te remodel, copy and make to order Blastic Cor- Cafeteria Service, 11-2:30 p. m. reto, Girdle, Breasterea. Room 128, 508 5th Ave. Dinner or a la Carte Service, 5:30-7:30 D. m. right owing to the birthday of the fret great Longacre 8173. Afternoon Tea

American."

The NEW MIX Washington Notes Mithe ambassador to Spain, came back on leave with a string of anecdotes which throw an important light on the trend of affairs in Madrid. One gathers that if Alfonso does not appear before the popu- lace as much as formerly it is because he is detained at the palace swapping stories with the American envoy. Mr. Moore was telling the facts at the White House one evening, and paused, as a skilled raconteur will, to permit his au- ditors to get the effect. “Grace," said the President to Mrs. Coolidge, "what is that cat doing running around here in the library?” Active Fruit Dental Cream PASTES Dostli TUBE Sweetens Breath Cleans Teeth Cares for Gums An Absolutely New Creation! Daily Increasing in Popularity Try It! So Different-So Satisfying You can't always make Coolidge out as easily as that, though. When he gave the sap bucket to Henry Ford everybody ex- claimed how spontaneously Yankeefied it The man who thought up that stunt was a well remunerated press agent who comes from New Orleans which, like Plymouth Notch, is situated in a syrup producing country. was. 2 DISTINCT CREAMS Pink White for for Teeth Gums AT ALL DRUG STORES 50cts HYPATIA CORS-O-BAND THE natural grace of American Woman- You know how non-committal a doctor is. When a doctor gets to be a Senator- well, they tell this of Copeland: “Senator, those sheep in that field are shorn closely." “Yes on this side they are." New-Mix Products Inc. 7 W. 45 St. Bryant 1218 THE NEW YORKER

Fifteen a quart or a dollar a snort for Scotch. The liquor situation in this town gets worse and worse. This department suggests another Congressional junket to Panama. One Congressman who was down there on official business last fall already is so low on his stock that he is passing out bay rum. Still, his popular- ity hasn't suffered any-British West In- dies bay rum is preferable hereabouts to "nigger gin" from Four-and-a-half Strect, S.W. Naval officers bring it back and do wonders with it. Tonsorial party is the correct colloquialism for an occasion at which it is the piece de resistance. THE NEW YORKER in published every Tuesday in New York City by the F-R Publishing Corp, 25 West 45th Street. H. W. Ros, presidents R. H. FLEICHMAN, vice-president, R. W. COLLINS, secretary and treas urer. hanced by Cors O-Band, the Ceinture recently adopted by prominent women of Society and the Stage. The backless model illustrated, designed for Evening Wear, is fashioned of finest material, and closely confines the hips, while affording entire freedom to the upper part of the body. The CORS-O-BAND gently yet firmly controls both Diaphragm and Bust, easily adjusted, fastening at left side front with cleverly concealed hooks and eyes, gives support just where it is needed and assures the flat straight back line below the waist. Strape are detachable and may be dispensed with for evening wear. A Particular Garment for Particular Women BATISTE ..$10.50 SILK BROCADE 18.50 SKINNER BOOT SATIN 38.50 SILK JERSEY 35.00 i preferred-you may order by mail-giving exact natural beasurement of hips, waist and bunt - Visit our Cornet Studio and be fitted by an expert corsetiere, under the personal supervuion of our designer Mail Orders Given Careful Attention WRITE POR CATALOGUE --Dept. 26 Subacription, $s. yaar Canada, $5.50 foreign $6. All text and illustrations appearing in Tux New YORKER are copyrighted. Subscribers should notify this office at least one week prior to any change of addren. If memory serves, your correspondent attended one of these gatherings the other night, sharing with a senator's secretary the honor of being the least distinguished guest. The apparent effects the next day were a certain nervous shyness (oiled my typewriter so it won't squeak so) and a cut on the chin. 'The latter was self-in- flicted while shaving. The safe course after a tonsorial party is a visit to the barber.Quid Advertising rates will be furnished upon application. Unsolicited contributions will not be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addrewed envelopes. THE NEW YORKER cannot be held re-

  1. ponsible for los or non-return of

contributions Hypatia "Wecks Says Army Neede Funde Badly" — Headline in the Times. "And that," the cynic answers, "is how it uses 'em." 20-22-24 West 37th Street Just off Fifth Avenue NEW YORK, N.Y. Digitized by

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THEY COMPLETE WORK OF EDGAR ALLAN POE Duho the оре NOW-All of Poe in ONE Volume! of be turt of belog tatleted be DGAR ALLAN POE-master-writer of THIS MARVELOUS BOOK SENT thrilling detective stories, of horror and PERSONAL FREE! of haunting poetry, of brilliant essays. All, all It to the drm belief of my soodlatea sod mysel! that the the infinitely varied writings of this great Amer- Once you see this remarkable volume, you will book you toe above represents ican genius are now yours in one marvelous assuredly want to own it. So we offer it to you the decade. for a week's free examination. No cost, no obli- volume! Everything formerly printed in ten So condunt . I that you volumes is here. And in exactly the same size that I have structed our Ad. gation to you. See for yourself the richness of too : the binding and the convenient form of the type-large, clear and readable. Two thou- vertinlpg Department to odler the book to you for free 01. book. Note the largeness of the type. Read sand pages are in this amazing book! Yet it amloation. No cort, Bode- poolt, 40 Obligation of RA is less than two inches thick. some of the strange, weird, gripping tales klad le required. This remarkable ofer Is mystery and terror-The Black Cat, The Pit Incredible? Surely-for when was such a book beide made so that you may ever known before? A great new advance in fore you purchase. Tl you do Death. Thrill again to the haunting music of Got Agru, reture the book at paper-making is responsible genuine India our experO. The Raven, Ulalume, Annabel Lee. Then if Paper. So finely woven that it is almost with WALTER J, BLACK, Pres. Plymouth Publlohlag Co. you have not fallen irresistibly under Poe's en out weight, yet so white and opaque that the thralling spell, simply return the book and the large type stands forth crystal clear. week's examination will have cost you nothing. To this rare paper, book-binders have contributed their art- You risk nothing by mailing the coupon. You lose a great to make a volume as beautiful as it is convenient--limp cov- opportunity by not doing so. Tear it out now, before turning ers, heavily grained: gold title and decorations; silk headband the page and mail to: and footband; sepia frontispiece. Truly, a book to grace the finest library THE PLYMOUTH PUBLISHING CO., bet The New "Midnight Edition" 7 WEST 42ad STREET, NEW YORK CITY But what richness of binding could compare with the treasures THE PLYMOUTH PUBLISHING CO., DEPT. 422 within-the priceless treasures of Poe's immortal genius! Turn 7 Wont 42nd St., Now York City the cover and you are in the enchanted world of his soaring Gentlemen: You may send me for one week's examination your imagination. All the masterpieces of his inspired pen are one-volume "Midnight Edition of Poe's Complete Works, printed in large, clear type on genuine India Paper. I will either vend you yours to enjoy. Here is a whole library in itself, for the $5.45 plus the few cents postage wilbin a week in full payment or return amazing versatility of Poe responds to your every mood. the book at your expense. Enthralling tales of mystery to hold you spellbound! Hum- Name. orous sketches of scintillating brilliance. Poetry to stir your Addres heart, with its haunting beauty. Read, too, James Russell Lowell's fascinating account of Poe's life, and the intimate reminiscences of his friend, N. P. Willis. Know the true Poe, Mark X here if you prefer book bound in Persian Morocco at only $1.50 more. Same approval privilege. unhappy victim of a wild, tragic life. City.......

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