(At a Boys' School.)
I'll tell my mammy when I go home.
The boys won't let my twat alone;
They pull my frock, and beg to see.
What can they want to do with me?
My sister Mary's twice as wild,
For she's fourteen, and I'm a child;
And if they tried to plague her so,
I think what bouncing Moll would do.
But why do the boys all tease me so,
And ask if I have a mouse to show?
They say there's a mouse in Bruce's clothes,
And when he was cuddling me, it rose!
When yesterday, I climbed for pears,
The boys all came to get their shares;
They giggled, and pointed into my slit.
I didn't know they were laughing at it.
The usher pretends to be my friend,
But I don't know where his love will end;
For while he keeps his sober talk.
I catch his fingers under my frock.
They often make me lie down to show
The very inside of my belly below,
I do as they please, because they pay
A shilling among them for the play.
They're not content, though I open wide,
They grope for something or other inside;
You'd think them fools, to see how they kiss,
The smarting hole, by which I piss!
And then they show me all their shames,
And teach me all the nasty names;
I'll tell my mammy when I go home;
The boys won't leave my Cunt alone!
A Brahmin at Madras introduced a relation of his to the Collector, who asked him whether this man was his brother. "No," said he, "he is not my brother, but he is one of my bloody relations."
A sailor on board the Duke of Edinburgh's yacht had a reputation as an impromptu poet. The following was one of his efforts before the Duchess:
He was a bloody sparrow.
Lived up a bloody spout;
There came a bloody thunderstorm.
And washed the bugger out.
But in a bloody minute,
They stopped the bloody rain;
So the bloody little sparrow.
Went up the spout again.
After which, he said: "I don't think much of it myself, marm, but my mates say it's bloody fine."